Forum IV: The Ex-Premie Forum
Archive: 8
From: Thurs, Oct 14, 1999 To: Mon, Oct 25, 1999 Page: 2 Of: 5


Nigel -:- Flogging a dead seed? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 21:50:14 (EDT)
__ Deputy Dog -:- Rumi repeat....... -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:50:20 (EDT)
__ __ Jerry -:- Re: Rumi repeat....... -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 11:17:21 (EDT)
__ __ __ Deputy Dog -:- Re: Rumi repeat....... -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 22:11:01 (EDT)
__ __ Nigel -:- Diversion (zzzzzzzzzzz......) -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:42:34 (EDT)
__ CD -:- Re: Flogging a dead seed? -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 04:08:03 (EDT)
__ __ Homer -:- Re: Flogging a dead seed? -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:45:02 (EDT)
__ __ gerry -:- Self flagellation -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:03:38 (EDT)
__ __ __ Blackdog -:- Have one of mine -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:48:47 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- You sound like a constipated android, Chris -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:58:26 (EDT)
__ __ Nigel -:- Yet another evasion (yawn...) -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 09:22:20 (EDT)
__ Gregg -:- Re: Flogging a dead seed? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:35:01 (EDT)
__ __ Grace -:- Re: Flogging a dead seed? -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:27:32 (EDT)

Sir Dave -:- Thanks -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:30:21 (EDT)
__ Dr Octopus -:- Re: Thanks -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 10:42:09 (EDT)
__ HAL -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:04:47 (EDT)
__ __ HAL -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:09:20 (EDT)
__ __ __ HAL -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:16:07 (EDT)
__ Jerry -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:22:34 (EDT)
__ Katie -:- Please don't go! -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:08:37 (EDT)
__ bb -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 08:22:05 (EDT)
__ __ Robyn -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:35:34 (EDT)
__ __ bb2 -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 08:38:30 (EDT)
__ Charlie -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 07:36:39 (EDT)
__ __ bb -:- Re: Thanks -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 23:30:19 (EDT)
__ Roger eDrek -:- You can't quit. You're fired! You'll never work in this town again! (nt) -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 04:26:14 (EDT)
__ Helen -:- Re: Thanks -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:53:09 (EDT)
__ Joey -:- Re: Thanks -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:34:08 (EDT)
__ __ Helen -:- Re: Thanks -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:11:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ Joey -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 00:34:23 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Helen -:- M's virtue -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:24:08 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Grace -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:03:00 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Sir Dave -:- Re: Thanks -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:28:44 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Johnny Morris -:- I'd like to say goodbye, but i can't because I'm blocked... -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:56:38 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Sir Dave -:- The return of the dancing hamsters -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:22:19 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Johnny Morris -:- All I can say is.... -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 21:03:48 (EDT)

youngold -:- let the trial begin -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:56:30 (EDT)
__ Helen -:- Re: let the trial begin -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:23:27 (EDT)
__ Way, jury member -:- Re: let the trial begin -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:05:20 (EDT)
__ __ youngold -:- 'so help me, Joni' -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:59:35 (EDT)
__ __ __ Jim -:- I take back my take back -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:29:20 (EDT)

Dr Octopus -:- SWEE TEAZE? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:42:02 (EDT)
__ Joey -:- Re: Some Tennis for my SWEE TEAZE? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:23:38 (EDT)

Jim -:- Way, Jerry, (evolution) -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:38:01 (EDT)
__ Jim -:- Nigel, what do you think? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 10:01:18 (EDT)
__ __ Nigel -:- To tell you the truth, I can't be bothered... -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:28:08 (EDT)
__ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: To tell you the truth, I can't be bothered... -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:31:06 (EDT)
__ __ __ Nigel -:- To Way... Put up or shut up. -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:48:46 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: To Way... Put up or shut up. -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:33:54 (EDT)
__ __ Jerry -:- Re: Nigel, what do you think? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:03:25 (EDT)
__ __ Way -:- Experts and evolution -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:12:16 (EDT)
__ __ __ Jim -:- Re: Experts and evolution -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 21:37:23 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: Experts and evolution -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:03:37 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:48:52 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 13:17:56 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jerry -:- Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:45:24 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:15:39 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jerry -:- And besides.... -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:57:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: And besides.... -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:47:04 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jerry -:- Thanks, Way -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 16:19:26 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Way -:- Re: Thanks, Way -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 17:11:06 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jerry -:- Re: Thanks, Way -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:11:57 (EDT)
__ __ __ Jerry -:- Re: Experts and evolution -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:10:44 (EDT)
__ __ __ Way -:- To Jerry -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:09:06 (EDT)

Jim -:- Tomorrow's Hamster day -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:08:15 (EDT)

youngold -:- 3 cents -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 23:43:43 (EDT)
__ JW -:- I DO Have A Problem With This -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:41:16 (EDT)
__ Jim -:- You're full of shit, I'm afraid -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:22:44 (EDT)
__ __ Marianne -:- I had the same assessment as Youngold -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:49:43 (EDT)
__ __ __ Jim -:- Yeah, you're right -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 02:02:39 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Yeah, well I've changed it again -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:58:06 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Shp -:- Leave a tender moment alone -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:20:14 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Shp -:- Acting and not reacting -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:54:53 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Deputy Dog -:- Re: Acting and not reacting -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 22:26:20 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Sanford Pass: Sandbox Landscaper -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 22:03:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ gERrY -:- ***Psychotic reaction*** -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:15:36 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Shp -:- Waiter, there;s a psychotic reaction... -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 13:54:09 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ gerry -:- LOL, good one, Sandy (NT) -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 16:34:07 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Dr Octopus -:- Re: ***Psychotic reaction*** -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 10:48:33 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Shp -:- The mollusk calls the reptile a lowlife -:- Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 14:17:28 (EDT)

youngold -:- my 2 cents -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 22:29:35 (EDT)
__ JW -:- Well Good For You -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:56:12 (EDT)
__ bb -:- Re: my 2 cents -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:14:34 (EDT)
__ Jim -:- Look a little deeper, perhaps -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 22:53:10 (EDT)

JHB -:- Propagation -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 19:50:02 (EDT)
__ kmdarling -:- Re: I DID PROPAGATION (PRACHAR, that is) -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:03:59 (EDT)
__ Enough -:- Re: Propagation -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:18:34 (EDT)
__ Cynthia G. -:- Re: Propagation -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 20:02:55 (EDT)

Katie -:- A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 12:01:41 (EDT)
__ Cynthia G. -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:58:50 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- Are we feeling better now? -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:49:26 (EDT)
__ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 19:15:20 (EDT)
__ __ Monmot -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:00:27 (EDT)
__ __ __ Cynthia G. -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:08:27 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ JW -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 16:53:11 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Katie -:- To Cynthia -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:08:22 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ biff -:- for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:28:31 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Fri, Oct 22, 1999 at 15:50:23 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ biff -:- Re: for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Sat, Oct 23, 1999 at 14:33:34 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 11:30:41 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ biff -:- Re: for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 13:16:07 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: for katie and joey (off topic) -:- Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 18:59:23 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ kmdarling -:- TO CYNTHIA & KATIE FROM THE OTHER KATIE -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:24:00 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ bb -:- TO CYNTHIA & KATIE FROM THE OTHER KATIE -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 23:04:06 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Susan -:- History ( not really on topic ) -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:19:28 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Susan -:- please excuse the obvious brain malfunction in the above post..me rily can right -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:25:08 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Monmot -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:49:44 (EDT)
__ Joey -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 23:16:45 (EDT)
__ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:29:05 (EDT)
__ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:27:50 (EDT)
__ __ __ Joey -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 14:33:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:56:48 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Joey -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:44:04 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:06:40 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Joey -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 00:09:54 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- A Note about PTSD -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:20:42 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: A Note about PTSD -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:05:24 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:04:08 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Runamok -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:57:59 (EDT)
__ __ gerry -:- I hate to say this... -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:16:15 (EDT)
__ __ __ Joey -:- And I hate to say it too, but... -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 14:36:09 (EDT)
__ Jim -:- I also think it's a bad idea -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:54:23 (EDT)
__ __ Joey -:- Re: reponse to your objections -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:50:23 (EDT)
__ Old one -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 13:35:45 (EDT)
__ __ Enough -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 16:18:45 (EDT)
__ __ __ Katie -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 18:12:08 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Sir Dave -:- I still think it's a bad idea -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:05:26 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ selene -:- Re: I still think it's a bad idea -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:35:06 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Sir Dave -:- There's some good -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:46:57 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ selene -:- Re: There's some good -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:10:25 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Roger eDrek -:- A secret society! Wow, that's for me! -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:42:11 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Sir Dave -:- Re: A secret society! Wow, that's for me! -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:24:32 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Joey -:- Re: A secret society! Wow, that's for me! -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:58:40 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- You miss the point, Dave -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:44:59 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Joey -:- Re: maybe, this is the point... -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:46:56 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: I still think it's a bad idea -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:31:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Blackdog -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 20:16:40 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:24:52 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Blackdog -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:55:32 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Katie -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:26:09 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Blackdog -:- Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes -:- Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:31:35 (EDT)
__ Susan -:- to recent ex's -:- Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 12:08:53 (EDT)


Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 21:50:14 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: All
Subject: Flogging a dead seed?
Message:
Perhaps my tone was facetious. The questions required too much thought. Too many questions? I guess it gets a little boring trying to answer four at once... (I mean, even Orlando remembered a previous appointment). But the central question was important. At least It was important to me on the way out of the cult. But not one premie rose to the challenge. Did I inadvertently touch a nerve?

Forgive me if I summarise my reasons for asking, then pose the questions again.

Premies:

Maharaji used to say demonstrably stupid things. This is a matter of public record. He made declarations about the nature of the universe (reincarnation, karma, evolution etc.); his powers (count 'em); broken promises (peace on earth, feeding the hungry, lions laying down with lambs, the whole world realizing Knowledge etc); statements about his closest associates (Holy Family and mahatmas being 'realised souls')... etc, etc.

I believe both Maharaji and his current followers would be embarrassed by such pronouncements if a friend, family member, journalist, or disinterested observer asked them right now to endorse or deny their validity. I politely suggested the Hamster's teachings of old were frequently - nay, routlinely - unreliable. I further suggested said guru was a liar, deluded, or an as-yet unfulfilled talent in the omnipotence biz. So why, I wondered, would anyone believe him now when the track record is crap..?

Your questions:

(1) Is it wise to follow a Master whose words cannot be trusted?
(2) How do you know Maharaji's present teachings can be trusted?
(3) At what point in time did his words become worthy of trust?
(4) How do you tell the difference between his reliable and unreliable statements?

New question:

(5) Do you even care?

If not, then:

(6) what does that say about you? (other than you are in a cult...)

How about you Mili? URL, maybe? CD..?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:50:20 (EDT)
From: Deputy Dog
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Rumi repeat.......
Message:
Out beyond wrong doing and right doing there is a field of luminous consciousness. I'll meet you there.
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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 11:17:21 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Deputy Dog
Subject: Re: Rumi repeat.......
Message:
DD,

I think you would have been better served if you chose Bugs Bunny for your moniker. That quote by Rumi in response to Nigel's questions might as well have been 'debeep deboop debap, er, what's up, Doc?' Or am I confusing Bugs with Elmer Fudd? That would have ben a good one for you too. How's about Daffy Duck? 'You're disthpicable!'

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 22:11:01 (EDT)
From: Deputy Dog
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Re: Rumi repeat.......
Message:
Jerry,

Me and Rumi or just me?

DD

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:42:34 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Deputy Dog
Subject: Diversion (zzzzzzzzzzz......)
Message:
Out beyond wrong doing and right doing there is a field of luminous consciousness. I'll meet you there.

Yeah, and I could tell you the same, but that wouldn't make it true. Nor would it make me someone you can trust. Why do you guys wriggle so much when asked a few simple, reasonable questions?

The issue at hand is about Maharaji's trustworthiness: why should anyone place faith in a man whose claims and promises have proven unreliable?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 04:08:03 (EDT)
From: CD
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Re: Flogging a dead seed?
Message:
I do believe that you overestimate the 'goodness' of the current state of the 'normal' state of mind on this planet. Wherever this planet is that is.
It is unclear what you have actually figured out to be true in this existence in your logical ponderings. Enjoyable as they might be.

Enjoy life and share the best,
CD

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:45:02 (EDT)
From: Homer
Email: None
To: CD
Subject: Re: Flogging a dead seed?
Message:
nt
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:03:38 (EDT)
From: gerry
Email: None
To: CD
Subject: Self flagellation
Message:
How do I get a 'DigExt' at the end of my browser? Seems like just about everyone is getting one these days. I'm starting to feel left out. Any suggestions?
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:48:47 (EDT)
From: Blackdog
Email: None
To: gerry
Subject: Have one of mine
Message:
I got too many anyway
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:58:26 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: CD
Subject: You sound like a constipated android, Chris
Message:
You MUST realize you're a joke, huh? After all this time ... you're posting for comic relief, right?
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 09:22:20 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: CD
Subject: Yet another evasion (yawn...)
Message:
Been on the ole loopy juice, Chris?

The question at hand is about Maharaji's trustworthiness: why should anyone place faith in a man whose claims and promises have proven unreliable?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:35:01 (EDT)
From: Gregg
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Re: Flogging a dead seed?
Message:
I haven't heard the logical discrepancies of the cult stated so precisely before.

I would second the challenge... but only to old premies. Those of us who received K (received recycled Hindu techniques) after the Astrodome years are not familiar with those promises..

More recent premies discount the previous years...Hey! I wasn't there! ...that's hearsay!

...so it's difficult to counter groupthink/cultthink on those grounds.

Relevant here is the testimony of ex-Communists like Orwell about Stalinism. If you can discount history, idealism is free from criticism.

Of course, criticism is anathema to DLM/EV period.

Peace is War. Mind is Evil.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:27:32 (EDT)
From: Grace
Email: None
To: Gregg
Subject: Re: Flogging a dead seed?
Message:
I want to second your post about discounting previous years.
For those of us who did receive K later, much of the early and more life-ruining intense aspects of the trip were gone and for many of us, not even known about. Our experience with M & K has been very different, I suspect. Though it was easy at first for me to discount the postings on this Forum because they were 'dated' and these people obviously didn't know how wonderful M & K now were, there were still issues addressed that needed to be answered. I think the questions Nigel addresses are important for premies to consider and not run from, as much as it is uncomfortable to look at them.
An earlier thread had discussed not rehashing old aspects of the cult, but I believe it is important to do so for the people who received K after 'the Astrodome years', for whom silence of earlier goings on led us to ignorance of all that had initially been involved. There is much many of us didn't know or at least knew of but not very much about. Hearing the way things were and peoples' reactions about things helps me to understand more completely what it was like. Knowing the history of something someone is so involved in is necessary. This is one place we can find out the minute details of life then. More than just pure curiousity, it can help one better realize the nature of the organization and avoid the denial of discounting the past 'because I wasn't there'.
The way M & K are being presented now could potentially appeal to people who are older and wiser and are aware of cults. The presentation now is benign until one actually goes to Long Beach and hears all the singing to the Lord.
But by then, I would guess people would be hooked. Much of the 80s were a 'silent' period about revering M and it made me respect him. I think the reintroduction of devotional music in the early 90s was a big mistake as far as getting new membership--but possibly necessary for keeping the old.
It was so easy for me to discount the early fanatacism of devotion for M as antics of crazy hippies, but this renewel of the old has to have many people thinking more seriously about issues.
When we can see in black and white what M has said and done before, it makes one rethink the whole thing. You have to innately know you can't question him on the old stuff or even bring it up. That should send some red flags up. Don't ignore them, at least question yourself. And if you find yourself still a premie, I would think that your 'faith' would be strengthened. Do what you need to do with your life, just don't live it in denial.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:30:21 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: david@xyzx.freeserve.co.uk
To: All
Subject: Thanks
Message:
The new ex-premies (and the premies) have a lot to thank the old ex-premies for. When I first got connected to the net a few years ago there was NOTHING about Maharaji on the internet at all. Then after a few months I found a premie guestbook with a load of sick making (for me) posts to Maharaji about how wonderful he was and amongst it all were a few forthright, questioning posts from a man called Jim Heller.

Jim got banned from using the premie guestbook and moved over to the alt.support.ex-cult newsgroup and later we got our own newsgroup, alt.cult.maharaji. And then even later we moved over to a web page forum such as this.

The fact that we were all ex-premies, voicing our revelations in a very public forum was what got to Maharaji and really set the cat amongst the pigeons. This was a major threat to Maharaji and his pretence at being the (now unspoken) Lord of all.

The fact is, old ex-premies know what it's like to have the carpet pulled from under their feet. We have felt the pain of having a long held belief system smashed to pieces. And for most of us old timers, we had to try to recover from the cult by ourselves since there was no online help around.

Nothing stays the same and there comes a time to bow out and allow new trends to take their course. I will continue to put the occasional post on The truth about Maharaji website and also Maharaji's (unofficial) Homepage.

I would like to thank all those old ex-premies such as Jim, Bill Burke, Joe Whalen and David Stirling who finally showed me what Maharaji and his trip was about. And also the many people here along the way who have shared something big with me at times.

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 10:42:09 (EDT)
From: Dr Octopus
Email: planetqwerty@postmaster.co.uk
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
ignore the next HAL postings: has to be a stumbling block, Then return to my previous posting (Suis Teaze) for a resume - nothing has altered. Still awaiting invitation/audience/and still sans telephone. Protocol? What protocol?
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:04:47 (EDT)
From: HAL
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
nt
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:09:20 (EDT)
From: HAL
Email: None
To: HAL
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
nt
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:16:07 (EDT)
From: HAL
Email: None
To: HAL
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
nt
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:22:34 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Hey, Dave. I really enjoyed our debates on this and that and whatever. And I really did understand what you were trying to say about non-existence. I agree with you. 'Nothing' can't be. Cool revelation you had. Thanks for sharing it. Well, if ever you want to knock heads on something again, I'm game. See ya then. Take care.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:08:37 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Please don't go!
Message:
Dear Sir David -
As a really OLD ex-premie (both in years since I left M, and in time spent on the forum), I remember your first posts on the usenet group (remember 'open to all possibilities'?) You took a lot of criticism for your attitude, but hung in there. I have always appreciated your kind and thoughtful posts, not to mention the funny ones (Guardian of the Cheese is one of my absolute favorite posts of all time.) And I really appreciate your willingness to put up new websites and to run the Anything Goes forum, especially in light of your health problems. I agree that the presence of the ex-premie forum, the ex-premie websites have helped MANY people. And you deserve a lot of credit and applause for what you have done.

If there's any way that we can persuade you to stick around and keep posting (even if it's less frequently), I, for one, would be very grateful.

Lots of love,
Katie

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 08:22:05 (EDT)
From: bb
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Sir Dacid, you are such a prolific creative guy that
how about just having your new interests part of the
discussions at either forum. OT at this one or on the
anything goes forum. You can take us along with your
wanderings and just ignore the guru issue as long
as you want.
Or, you can change the anything goes forum into a -no guru-
references forum.

I have my sir david addiction to feed!

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 12:35:34 (EDT)
From: Robyn
Email: None
To: bb
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Yes Bill, Sir is one of my favorite people! I think most of us feel this way. I emailed Dave when I read this post but thought I'd reply to your post because I feel the same way.
Love,
Robyn
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 08:38:30 (EDT)
From: bb2
Email: None
To: bb
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
DO you still have control over the anything goes
password? Change the name into the -Graduates forum-
or something and that way the x's have a place to
evolve to after we got to know each other and yet are
wanting to limit our guru dosage that we get here.

And, premies are definately banned unless they can shut
up about thier religion.
A forum with a definate bias towards banning.
No freedom of speech issues to be concerned about, no
satsang or bad behavior newcomers allowed.
A lot of e-mail amongst ex premies could happen there
on the forum.
Just a thought.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 07:36:39 (EDT)
From: Charlie
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Dear Sir Dave,

when I first encountered an ex-premie webpage a few years ago I dismissed it as a rant by a few nutcases. When I returned earlier this year I was astonished at the growth of what had become Ex-premie.org. It was the Journeys page that really brought home to me the truth about M. I read each one not knowing the authors but knowing that they were all written with an honesty I had never before perceived within the world of M&K. I was gutted. The final spear through my heart, killing my last vestages of hope for salvation through K was from David Simpkiss.

In your very short statement you summed it up for me. I felt terrible but I was out, I was free of the cult. When I arrived at Forum III I was a very nervous boy, I didn't know where to begin. Through the turmoil and angst that sometimes characterizes our discussions you have been a voice of humanity, reason and caring.

Even though you don't know me I regard you as a friend. You have helped me when I needed it.

Thanks mate...

Charles

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 23:30:19 (EDT)
From: bb
Email: None
To: Charlie
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
That is a best of forum post Charlie.
It may not get to the Drek FIles, but it on my list.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 04:26:14 (EDT)
From: Roger eDrek
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: You can't quit. You're fired! You'll never work in this town again! (nt)
Message:
nt
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:53:09 (EDT)
From: Helen
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Does this really mean you are retiring Sir D? I enjoy coming here now and then and reading what mischief you are up to. You helped me A LOT when I found this site last year. You helped me because you are a kind person, a playful person and a very distinctive voice. Take care
Love
Helen
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:34:08 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
The last conversation I had with my dear old Dad, before he became too ill to talk, was about him getting meals on wheels and I remember telling him that it was a bit like his war-time experiences when food was being rashioned. About a week later, I was nursing him at his bedside in hospital as he faded away and left us. Our last communication together was very beautiful and he smiled at me a few times and I told him not to worry about anything; just relax and go to sleep now (they had just given him morphine) and I would make sure that Mum would be well taken care of. He smiled one final sweet smile to me before he lapsed into final unconsciousness and passed on.
My dear old Dad, we'd both been through a lot and yet we both loved each other at the end. His comments about him getting meals on wheels just before he was admitted to hospital was brought back home to me the other day when I read on this forum about Maharaji getting the chefs who cook for the stars to cook for him.

I don't need to say any more, do I? My dear old Dad, he was still trying to look after my mother even when he was on his last legs. You cannot compare a King like him to a very, very small man like Maharaji.

No I can't. Nor will I compare the King's son to him either.

You're great Sir D...all the best!!

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:11:18 (EDT)
From: Helen
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Joey,
I am so glad you re-printed that post. That sums up Sir D's ability to cut right to the chase of things. It illustrates exactly what we lost when we were premies--the ability to see a truly good, dignified and caring person--as Sir D saw with his Dad. Maharaji was NEVER any of these things that Sir D pointed out about his Dad. M was never willing to make any kind of real sacrifice for the well-being of others, he has absolutely no virtues whatsoever that I can think of!!!!
Thanks again Joey for posting that classic Sir D post, which brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 00:34:23 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Helen
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Helen,

Great to be on the same page with you again...it always has been!
Yes, the post from Sir D is my personal favorite, and I do think of it fairly often, although I believe he's had more than one 'classic.'

But Helen, don't you think this statement of yours is a little harsh:

M was never willing to make any kind of real sacrifice for the well-being of others, he has absolutely no virtues whatsoever that I can think of!!!!

Well, er...um...on second thought you may have a point.
So as Roseanne Roannadana would say...'never mind':::))

Good touching base Helen!
and
Love,
Joey

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:24:08 (EDT)
From: Helen
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: M's virtue
Message:
Well, there is one virtue I can think of, he has good taste in clothes, nice suits and ties, he knows how to enjoy his wealth, how's that? He probably enjoys a fine glass of cognac.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:03:00 (EDT)
From: Grace
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
That post brings tears to my eyes, too. To me, you will always be the man who lit 'The Burning Bush'. Good luck.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:28:44 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: david@xyzx.freeserve.co.uk
To: All
Subject: Re: Thanks
Message:
Dear Katie, Bill, Roger, Helen, Joey and Grace,

Thanks for all your good wishes and kind words. Yes I'll put in an appearance from time to time, especially after some of the things you've said. I'm glad some of my experiences which I've written here have struck a chord now and then. That's always good to know.

Email is always there and I do always reply, eventually and sometimes quicker.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:56:38 (EDT)
From: Johnny Morris
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: I'd like to say goodbye, but i can't because I'm blocked...
Message:
....oh, what a giveaway!!
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 20:22:19 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: david@xyzx.freeserve.co.uk
To: Johnny Morris
Subject: The return of the dancing hamsters
Message:
Thanks Rob. And let's not forget the ones who made all of this possible. Because those dancing hamsters are unstoppable!
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 21:03:48 (EDT)
From: Johnny Morris
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: All I can say is....
Message:
ps was that you in the pic with the girl??
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:56:30 (EDT)
From: youngold
Email: None
To: jim & marianne
Subject: let the trial begin
Message:
I don’t mind the trial...It will make me think hard on these things.

It wasn’t very traumatic for me to move in or out of the ashram. A bunch of us moved in
then a bunch moved out. It was no more confronting than many, many situations before
and after in my life. As far as the “mind” goes, I just didn’t swallow the whole line
completely. If something was said in satsang that I didn’t agree with, I stored it away in
my memory banks with a question mark.

What really saved me from taking the whole thing 100% seriously and perhaps getting
damaged by all the wild claims and stern religious trip was a sense of humor. I was
surrounded by people who were brilliant comedians...mimicking the mahatmas, and just
clever, witty spontaneous goofing around.

As far as M being God, that was a question mark. What a person believes in their heart is
a secret. M as a teacher, I can accept that. Meditation as a tool...I think there is
something there.

My biggest regret has always been the “advice” and judgments of other premies. Power
trips. But I do see that anytime people get together, someone wants to lead, some want
to follow, some want to rebel. People get involved to varying degrees.

I did see that posting concerning Jagdeo. I was heartbroken for those kids. I will not
defend M or DLM or Jagdeo. But as a member of the human race I will say that the
human spirit is powerful and with encouragement and care, bad situations can be left
behind. My heart goes out to them. I hope they can find what is beautiful in this world
and this life again.

As far as gold toilets are concerned... I didn’t pay for them. I haven’t sent DLM, EV or M
any money for 18 years. I was wise and thrifty and sent all my money to Merrill Lynch for
safe keeping and for that pleasant comfortable retirement. Only THEY lost it all. over
20,000 ! (true story).

Two boys went to Viet Nam. One came back scarred on all levels. Hating the
government, The CIA, the tri-lateral commission. He saw and participated in mass
killings. He saw the waste, the lies, the uselessness. He was damaged for life.

The other one came back with many questions but also with pride and dignity. He felt he
was doing his civil duty. He answered the call . He was tested and withstood the storm.

Who really saw the war?

Any way, I’m neither of those guys. Somewhere in the middle.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:23:27 (EDT)
From: Helen
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: Re: let the trial begin
Message:
Don't want to beat up on you here, YO, but I do agree with you that it is good to test yourself a bit by engaging in some debate here on the forum. Sharpen the old intellect as they say. I would like to challenge you by saying that by focussing on the premie's 'trips' rathering than on Maharaji's 'trips' you spared yourself the pain of realizing that your Guru was not the loving great guy you wanted him to be.

It was an ingrained mythology that premies had their trips, after all they were only human, but that Maharaji was flawless, perfect. Since I was always on the fringes as a premie, never lived in the ashram, never gave M alot of money, I held M at a very safe distance, didn't have to entertain any disturbing thoughts about him. Finding the forum and hearing eyewitness acounts by PAMS about how everything with M always was driven by money, hearing stories of suicides, stories of people sacrificing their livers to toxicity to build a plane in conditions M knew about but did nothing about, people in pain coming to M for solace and him not finding it in his heart to 'receive them' (like some spoiled bastard monarch)--well, the forum got me off the fence and I was able to decide, without a doubt, that Maharaji is not a good guy, and in fact is a very bad character indeed. Not a Hitler by any means, but a self-serving greedy little guy, profitting off other people's confusion and pain.

Anyway, I hope that you can allow the debate to continue, as you have indicated truth is ultimately what matters most.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:05:20 (EDT)
From: Way, jury member
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: Re: let the trial begin
Message:
Ok, there are three trials here.

(1) YO is on trial, accused of being a stupid, half-hearted premie with his head in the sand who really should know better.

(2) Rawat is on trial, accused of being unworthy of YO's continued love.

(3) Knowledge is on trial. It is either bogus, or, as YO has claimed below, it is based on a OLD system that has great benefits.

From the evidence presented so far, I already have a pretty clear idea of what my judgements will be.
But I do think that YO should be put on the witness chair, sworn to Truth holding an old 'And It Is Divine' in his right hand, and posed a few questions.

Question One: As JW has already pointed out, YO, you have virtually nothing positive to say about your involvement with Rawat other than chalking it up to a learning experience, yet you still profess 'a great deal of love for Maharaji.' Might you explain this love a bit? Is it for the idealised concept of a perfect savior and therefore similar to what Christians feel for Jesus? Or perhaps it is similar to the love expressed by screaming prepubescent girls seeing the Beatles perform live for the first time? They are screaming Paul's name with genuine tears in their eyes, but Paul is probably a figurehead rather than the actual object of their affections. Or is your love actually and specifically associated with Mr. Rawat himself, who you may or may not have known personally in some way? You further say that you accept M as a teacher, but that doesn't really explain the love part to my satisfaction.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:59:35 (EDT)
From: youngold
Email: None
To: Way, jury member
Subject: 'so help me, Joni'
Message:
My hand is on the stack of old “And It Is Divine”s.

love... what a word.

Joni Mitchell is someone I love. She doesn’t know it. (maybe she does, I’ve got an
autograph in the mail from her) , but all the years I’ve listened to her music, all the insight,
all that passion, talent, honesty, artistry, I am astounded at her. I am so grateful to her for
reaching me.

Perhaps her personal life is crap though. She got pregnant at 18 and gave away the baby,
she smokes like a fiend, producers say she is a bitch to deal with, and on and on. But I
feel love and gratitude towards her none the less.

Sir David Attenborough is someone I love. He can explain the natural world with such
ease and dry humor... I’m totally fascinated. I’ve never met him and know nothing about
his personal life, yet I feel love and gratitude and appreciation for him.

M is someone I’ve seen and heard many times in person. He has been a teacher to me for
over 27 years. He has been distant all that time, even though at times I had tried to get
that coveted front row seat or that magic darshan story. But maybe that is the point.
Maybe he is not the focal point. Maybe what he is pointing to is.

My highest experience so far in my life has been an overwhelming rush of gratitude and
joy for being alive. I’ve felt that now and then. I feel it has something to do with K. So I
do feel love and gratitude for M.

His personal life, some say it’s a mess. evil. sordid. I don’t know.

I hope no one follows my day to day doings and thoughts with a microscope and recorder.
I will come off as a real asshole.

I know how this sound to you but I’ll say it anyway...Jesus was hated and accused and
framed and killed. He was a master. And who knows what he was really like. He was
reclusive. No one really knows what he was doing from age 12 to 30. Those are 18 years
of a lot of opportunity for trouble! Who knows?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:29:20 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: I take back my take back
Message:
YO,

You're terminally superficial. No need to rub your face in it. People like you, it seems, never get it no matter what. Best of luck.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:42:02 (EDT)
From: Dr Octopus
Email: None
To: All
Subject: SWEE TEAZE?
Message:
Sweeties?? as in 'suis' perhaps? (Je suis= I am in the French language).

P.S. I am still here in Durham, whether you believe it or not, without telephone, still incommunicado and awaiting collection. Allez.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:23:38 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Dr Octopus
Subject: Re: Some Tennis for my SWEE TEAZE?
Message:
Tennis Player Brainwashed?

According to her parents, former coach, and ex-boyfriend, 20-year old Swiss tennis star Patty Schnyder has been brainwashed and virtually abducted by a charlatan, her guru-
paramour Rainer Harnecker, a German faith healer, who is under investigation in Germany for practicing medicine without a license.
Harnecker allegedly encouraged Schnyder to drop her former coach and supported her estrangement from her parents, whom he described as 'too controlling.' Scnyder at first thought that Harnecker was 'crazy'-he had been brought in to help her and two other players become as fit as possible- 'but then I tried his system and I started to feel better,and then when I listened to him, he started to make so much sense to me. He understood me like no one else has.'
When her parents insisted that she drop Harnecker, she refused. They then 'canceled me,' she said.

Cute huh? Hey maybe that's what happened to that 'collection' you've been waiting for....its been cancelled:::))

Just a thought.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:38:01 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Way, Jerry, (evolution)
Message:
In a thread below, Way posted:

Have you fully accepted Neo-Darwinism and the materialist world-view or not? Are you aware of the problems? Do you read all the major writers, or just the pro-side? Here's one that might joggle your brain cells a bit - 'Not by Chance' by Lee M. Spetner, published 1998 (available from Amazon). He has impressive credentials, has followed the subject for 40 years, and writes very well. He debunks Guru Dawkins' many myths with empirical evidence. You've escaped one Know-It-All only to fall victim to another.

Way,

First I want to thank you for the four articles. I've looked them all over but haven't finished reading them start to end yet. I will, I promise. Some of the technical stuff loses me a bit. Hell, I shouldn't complain. Maybe it's supposed to. :)

Anyway, I think that's the problem in this debate. How much can we rely on scientific experts and how much do we rather have to wade in ourselves in order to assess matters 'independently' somehow. Personally, I'd much prefer to leave it to them there experts. Yeah, I know. We've been fooled before, I guess. It was the 'experts', after all, who gave us Velveeta cheese (no offence, Barney). How can we trust them? But, hey, the problem gets even worse here. You've got your experts, so you say, and I've got mine. The scientific community is fairly split on evolution and one can no more simply invoke Dawkins to settle the matter than Behe who'd settle it quite differently for sure. Right?

Way, I'm not sure that's right at all. I have a strong impression that there really is a scientific concensus in support of evolution and its majestic ramifications notwithstanding the effort of creationists (of various stripes) to suggest otherwise.

You know, I checked out the Amazon site you referred to. There are all sorts of reviews of Spetner's book, many of them extremely laudatory. But then you get something like this which tells me, more than anything, that I don't have the real depth of scientific knowledge to duke it out personally in the details. That's why I'm encouraged by the fact that there really is no major schism in the field. Here's the review. What do you think?:

Jack S. Cohen

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.'

In his book, Lee Spetner seeks to disprove Neo-Darwinian Theory (NDT) by the use of mathematical analysis, notably statistics. The author cannot be considered a dispassionate seeker after truth; he refers to 'evolutionists [who] claim to know how it all began' (p. 23) and 'if the neo-Darwinian agenda had worked out, there would be no place for a creator' (p. 24). Rather from the outset he has a mission, that can be stated simply as a religious Jew's attempt to destroy the opposition, namely the concept that evolution of biological species could have occurred without the need to evoke a creator.

It must be acknowledged that Dr. Spetner has amassed a large amount of information, and indeed has incorporated much biological, chemical, genetic, enzymatic, etc., information into his book (about half the text). However, all of this information is secondary to the main thesis, that statistical analysis (of chance events) cannot explain NDT. Spetner's view can be summarized by his statement, 'common sense says that the amazing complexity of life cannot arise out of a random process' (p.75). In this he is simply wrong. Notwithstanding all his mathematical analysis he basically relies on his biased 'common sense,' not on the facts.

In order to confront Spetner's analysis we must distinguish between the process and the theory to explain it. It is my contention that based on the facts I can come to no other conclusion than that the evolution of species has occurred. There is so much material from paleontology (fossils), comparative anatomy, embryology, genetics (mutation analysis), etc., that to conclude otherwise is perverse, in other words, not accepting the facts because of a pre-conceived bias. However, how evolution came about is still uncertain. That is why we still talk about 'Darwin's theory of evolution.'

We now know that a good deal of Darwin's analysis was wrong, because at the time the science of genetics that underlies evolution was hardly known. That is why in the 1940's a group of eminent scientists met and attempted to update the theory of evolution according to the then-known facts, including what was known of genetics, in the NDT. Spetner spends a great deal of time and effort trying to dispute the NDT. In fact his analysis becomes for want of a more elegant word, boring. There is only so much statistical analysis that one can struggle through before one's eyes glaze over.

One response to Spetner was why did he bother; we now know that a lot of what the NDT contains is out-dated. Note that this was even before the discovery of the structure of DNA. The 1940's were, in the area of genetics, roughly equivalent to the early middle ages; so much has been learnt since then. For example, transposons, that can transfer whole segments of genetic information (mentioned only twice in this book); e.g. the Philadelphia chromosome, in which a specific chromosomal transfer is highly associated with several forms of leukemia (so chromosomal translocations can be random and non-random). There are 'introns' and 'exons', which divide the genome into two groups, one that is expressed (exons) in genes (and hence in the physical characteristics or phenotype) and one that is not (the intervening sequences or introns that are spliced out). One thing is clear, NDT is hardly likely to be defended by any modern biologist. Consequently Spetner has erected a massive 'straw man' to beat and berate with such determination.

One very important element of Spetner's approach is that evolution could not have occurred by small steps involving single point mutations in the DNA. In relation to the NDT he may be narrowly correct. However, in one respect his analysis seems to be wrong, in that he assumes a stable population, while the tendency for minor variants to overtake a diminishing population will be greatly increased the closer it comes to extinction. Also, we should acknowledge that most species have not overcome that challenge.

We now know that point mutations are only one of many ways that changes occur in the genetic material to give rise to variation (see above), and these are not taken into account in Spetner’s analysis. Clearly a book written in 1996 should not be focusing on an outdated theory from the 1940s!

That the evolution of animal species has occurred over eons is an indisputable fact. Now, it appears that Spetner has his own theory of evolution that must include a deity. In his epilogue, he approvingly quotes Rabbi Luria (1789-1855) who interpreted the holy books and came to the conclusion that 365 beasts and an equal number of birds were created (presumably by God) and the rest evolved from these. This is a theory of evolution that does not accord with the known facts! In my understanding, God is considered by believers to be supernatural. I cannot understand why it is thought necessary to invoke a supernatural being to account for a natural process.

According to Occam's 'razor', you only need one theory to explain something, and not more. It is evident that the modern sciences of biology, paleontology, genetics, and so forth, provide a sufficient natural basis to explain the mechanism of evolution, even if we do not yet have all the answers. But, it is pouring in thick and fast. Recently we have seen the findings of 'missing links' (a favorite point of attack of creationists) of bird-dinosaurs and human skulls. One notable fact is that the cranial capacity of the brains of early human ancestors can now be show to have increased gradually, and not have been subject to sudden changes.

There is a large amount of self-deception in this work. Often a single negative quotation is used as a springboard to disprove a whole thesis (for example, p. 201, the evolution of finches in Galapagos is disputed). Spetner states in this context that the diversity of finch beaks 'might be explained by a phenotypic phenomenon entirely' (p. 203). This ignores the fact that all phenotypic variations have genetic origins. Thus, the observation that he describes of the development of finch beak variation as adaptation to new environments that has been observed in real time, is a prima facie case of biological evolution.

Overall 'facts speak louder than statistics.'

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 10:01:18 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Nigel, what do you think?
Message:
Nigel,

I meant to include you in the post above but, as you probably know, I was bringing up a discussion down below between Way and Jerry. What do you think about this matter of conflicting experts? You know, I almost put experts in quotes but then realized that'd be wrong. That's the problem. For me, someone like Behe or Spetner is an expert. I can read arguments pro, arguments con. Yes, the pro ones appeal to me more but how safe is that? I'm already psychologically committed to a position, that's kind of obvious.

Like I was saying above, if I really thought there was no consensus in science I wouldn't know what to think. I doubt that'd I'd have the time or discipline to make myself an expert, if that were even possible. So how do you deal with this?

And how about you, Jerry? You seem to have become a really steadfast amateur in this area. What's your view on the matter of deference to experts and all that?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:28:08 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Jim
Subject: To tell you the truth, I can't be bothered...
Message:
I am not convinced Way understands the arguments. Rather, he knows which ones he approves of.

If Spetner were an evolutionary 'expert', I would have heard of him before five minutes ago. If his propositions were worth the time of day, Maynard Smith, Gould or Dawkins, at least, would have given him a footnote by now. Where has he been published? (discounting popular paperback). Who has peer-reviewed him? Ok - maybe, just maybe, Spetner IS important. If so, we'll still be talking about him five years down the line. But I'm not holding my breath...

As for Behe (a 'scientist' with an uncompromising Roman Catholic standpoint), Daniel Dennett demolished not just his evidence but his whole purpose-oriented agenda in a brilliant essay you gave us a link to about a month back.

No-one takes real evolutionary problems as seriously as did Darwin himself, or do present day Darwinians. I have yet to be persuaded of a flaw in Natural Selection. As for 'experts' in general? - Well the truth will out, as they say ... The truth has a good track record in outing the bullshitters.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:31:06 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Re: To tell you the truth, I can't be bothered...
Message:
Nigel,
Do you agree with Cohen's characterization of Neo-Dawinism as an outdated theory? What, then, is the nomenclature for Dawkins and other of Darwin's enthusiasts? Seems like Cohen is expending a lot of energy to split that hair.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:48:46 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: Nigel
Subject: To Way... Put up or shut up.
Message:
(ok, perhaps I can be bothered...)

You claim Spetner has 'debunked Guru Dawkins'.

Where and how?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:33:54 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Re: To Way... Put up or shut up.
Message:
Nigel,

I think that every time I have used the word 'expert' it has been in quotation marks. I am not a devotee, or even a student, of Spetner. In fact, my world view is really quite different from his. I don't like the last chapter of his book at all. He is not a recognized authority on the subject. And I didn't say that he has successfully debunked Dawkins to everyone's satisfaction including my own, only that he has made the attempt in a very recent book that is worth a look, especially for those people who swallow Dawkins' bravado hook, line and sinker.

You are quite right in your assessment of my understanding of the many arguments. It doesn't take too much delving into Mendelian genetics before I am over my head. But I do enjoy boggling my mind with visions of DNA replication and the rest of it.

And you are also correct that certain arguments please me because they assert my basic belief on the subject, which is, for your information, this: 'life is not something that arises from inorganic matter arranging itself without direction or purpose.' I would not even have bothered to formulate such a viewpoint if the opposite had not been asserted by certain ignoramuses.

There is a new book coming out soon that will summarize all the valid arguments against Neo-Darwinism. I think it is called simply 'Intelligent Design.' I've read portions of it and the information is fascinating and awe inspiring, if not conclusive. But the point is that the debate is hardly over, and that is why I have engaged the evolutionists here with my meager efforts to counter-balance.

Thanks for your remarks. Be a devotee of truth. Yes?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:03:25 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: Nigel, what do you think?
Message:
Jim,

When experts draw lines, such as Spetner and Dawkins, what else can we do besides act like a jury being presented the evidence and try to make heads or tales of it? I like Dawkins. He's great fun to read. But I haven't read Spetner. Or Behe for that matter. Way makes a good case in this respect. Unless I become equally familiar with them, I can't really draw a fair conclusion.

Reading Spetner's and Behe's critics does provide evidence that they're bunk, but then what's their counter argument to their critics? I haven't heard. I don't know. What I'd really like to see is a debate between these two camps, watch them go head to toe, like Pinker and Jones did, and see what I think from that. But as of now, I lean in favor of the Darwinists, and consider myself one of their ranks.

And Nigel, what DO you think?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:12:16 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Experts and evolution
Message:
Jim,

Yes, the problem with 'experts' is very significant, whether the arena is science or religion. How many times in history have the Know-It-Alls been proven wrong? Over and over again. The 20th century is no different. For example, the man who discovered quantum physics in 1900 had almost studied music instead because the top physics 'expert' of the time had told him that there were no new discoveries to be made in physics. That was slightly incorrect.

The theory of evolution of course has ramifications for both science and religion. It is absolutely imperative to distinquish between what is fact and what is theory. This distinction is where so many experts make fools of themselves and the public. I find Jack S. Cohen, who you quote above, to be a prime example of the worse kind of offender. He makes my blood boil! His statement 'It is evident that the modern sciences of biology, paleontology, genetics, and so forth, provide a sufficient natural basis to explain the mechanism of evolution.' This is a statement of opinion, not fact. So what actually are the known FACTS about the mechanism of evolution? Well, guess what - there are none! According to Neo-Darwinian Theory (NDT), random mutation is the major mechanism. It is Spetner's major point in his book that random mutations always delete some information from the genome, rather than adding information, and evolution absolutely requires the addition of information.

Cohen acknowledges that 'we now know that a lot of what the Neo-Darwinian Theory contains is out-dated.' Read Spetner's book if you want to know how very true that statement is. There is, as you say, a concensus in the scientific community in support of evolution, particularly micro-evolution. Of course things evolve. But there is no concensus about macro-evolution and more and more scientists are calling for new theories to replace Neo-Darwinism.

By the way, Spetner's book has one whole chapter devoted to highlighting the stupid things that Dawkins has erroneously claimed. One last point, Jim, please stop formulating the debate as if it is between 'evolution' and 'creationism.' That is drawing the lines much too broadly and only serves to bring the Bible into the discussion, which is really boring. The true debate is confined to the real issues of how this universe works, with a directing force of some kind or not.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 21:37:23 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Re: Experts and evolution
Message:
But there is no concensus about macro-evolution and more and more scientists are calling for new theories to replace Neo-Darwinism.

Wher in the world did you get this? That's not my impression at all. Please, back this up. I'm familiar with the Gould / Dawkins debate over punctuated equilibrium. But even that doesn't begin to spill into a general argument over macro-evolution.

One last point, Jim, please stop formulating the debate as if it is between 'evolution' and 'creationism.' That is drawing the lines much too broadly and only serves to bring the Bible into the discussion, which is really boring. The true debate is confined to the real issues of how this universe works, with a directing force of some kind or not.

That 'directing force' wouldn't by chance be God, would it? God or someone just like him? Really, Way, you know that this is exactly a debate between evolution and creationism. Why reach for a euphemism?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:03:37 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: Experts and evolution
Message:
Jim,

Ok, two points here, (1) the evidence and concensus for macroevolution, and (2) using the words 'creationism' and 'God.'

(1) The evidence should be there by now, and it isn't. Attempts to prove the point have all failed, such as the story of the museum that recently offered up for public instruction the display for horse evolution with pictures of all the intermediate forms. Turns out the forms were actually contemporary to each other in some instances and none of them had really evolved from the other! The museum was forced to recant. Any concensus that predates clear understanding based on evidence is merely posturing and premature self-congratulations.

(2) It is quite easy to argue with the 'creastionists' who insist that the earth is 8,000 years old. That is choosing you opponents wisely so that you can easily win the argument. So what! And why use the words 'God' or 'creator' with all the ridiculous connotations they bring up? For the same reason. Let's keep the argument at a higher level. It's possible here to talk about issues that are as large, significant and sophisticated as humans can get, so let's not waste time piddling with labels that do not advance our understanding.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:48:52 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too
Message:
Way,

I've only got a second here. But I jsut read your post and wanted to say something before I fly down tot he courthouse. You're butting up against a whole lot of scientists when you ridicule their belief that they have overwhelming evidence of evolution. That you can cling to one example of a mistake such as you have shows your mindset quite clearly: you've jumped over the barricades and from here on will be getting all your information from rebel pamphlets. After all, the goovernment forces can't be trusted, right?

Sorry, that's a ridiculous analogy. Gotta run. More later.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 13:17:56 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too
Message:
Jim,

Yeah, the analogy is not very good.

Remember we were talking about the evidence specifically for macro-evolution. From what I've read, the evidence is not there. For instance, there should be a plethora of obvious intermediate fossils, and there is only a smattering of possibles. That's just one of the 'problems' and there are many of these so-called problems - the Cambrian explosion, convergence, etc.

When you suddenly used the term 'evolution' again just now, you would be including the evidence for micro-evolution, and even the evidence for natural selection itself. Yes, there is plenty of evidence. For example, the very famous moths in northern England turning black and white. But, at best, that was an example of natural selection alone, and it was acting on the entire gene pool already in existence in that species (like blond and brown hair in humans). There was no random mutation involved at all so the example provides no support for Neo-Darwinism. Most of the evidence is similarly half-baked and problematic. There's nothing like, say, the evidence for the theory of relativity, which was very much doubted by even the top scientists until experiments in space travel confirmed the slowdown of time at exactly the degree predicted by the theory.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:45:24 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too
Message:
For example, the very famous moths in northern England turning black and white. But, at best, that was an example of natural selection alone, and it was acting on the entire gene pool already in existence in that species (like blond and brown hair in humans). There was no random mutation involved at all so the example provides no support for Neo-Darwinism.

You're talking about the infamous peppered moth. This is a creationist argument that the code was already there, and not a result of random mutation being favored by natural selection. There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that the genes were already in place just waiting for whatever environment was suitable for their activation. You're taking liberties with your prejudice here, Way. I thought you were interested in truth. Well, the truth in this case, that genes just waiting to be activated depending upon environment, is nothing more than creationist wishful thinking.

Back to random mutation 'almost always' causing a loss of information, how did Spetner determine this? So far as I know, random mutations occur like once every 100 million years or so. If that's the case, how can you determine if more or less information is being added? And what about evolution 'absolutely' requiring added information. I can see how information would have to be added if life started from single cell organisms, but why does that HAVE to be the case with multicellular ones?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:15:39 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Re: Okay, you're starting to sound like one of 'em too
Message:
Jerry,

No, no, no.

Moths of both black and white existed together in the same population from the beginning. Supposedly, the white ones were more protected from predators on the birch trees when the tree were white and then when the industrial soot began turning the trees black, the conditions favored the black moths and they then prevailed. There was no mutation.

And boy, did you misquote the time frame for mutations. If they happened as infrequently as you stated, evolution wouldn't have a chance! However, they do indeed happen remarkably infrequently and they are nearly always either neutral, deleterious, or lethal. They are almost never advantageous. Even when they are advantageous, they only have approximately 1 in 500 chance of making it into the general population. Therefore, the theory that they have anything to do with evolution is poppycock. As for how Spetner determines the information content of genes, you'll have to read his book.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:57:17 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: And besides....
Message:
Random mutation had nothing to do with the survival of the peppered moth. It was just more able to pass it's genes on because of it's natural camoflage. Predators couldn't pick it out as clearly as they could lighter colored moths. It was a realtime example of natural selection favoring genes because of the survivability of their carrier.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:47:04 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Re: And besides....
Message:
Jerry,

Ok, now you have it right.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 16:19:26 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Thanks, Way
Message:
Do I get an A? But seriously, I was being conservative when I mentioned 100 million years as the timespan between random mutations. The actual figure I can recall is 400 million. How that was determined and in what context, I don't recall. I'm aware of mutations that cause cancer and such that can be observed realtime, but I don't know how a mutation which is beneficial to a species can be examined realtime? Who would even know it was happenning until thousands of generations had passed where you could compare how far a species had evolved?

I looked for Spetner's book today in the bookstore. Not a trace. I really don't think I'm missing anything, though. But I did notice another challenge to Darwinian theory, a book about Lamarck, a famous scientist who was one of Darwin's first adversaries. According to the fellow who wrote this book, Lamarck, who had been written off as having any valid theories about gene mutation, might have been right after all. I can't remember the title or author of this book, but if you want, I can find out for you.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 17:11:06 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Jerry
Subject: Re: Thanks, Way
Message:
Jerry,

I think what you may be thinking of is the rate of random mutation in DNA duplication. As DNA duplicates itself, there is a vast amount of information to be copied to the new cell. Mistakes in the copying (mutations) occur very infrequently, about 1 in a hundred million COPIES. Not one in a hundred million or four million YEARS! (or whatever the actual figure is).

You also raise the interesting question about how do we know that a mutation is beneficial until after it has been selected. And isn't it merely because it was selected that we then deem it beneficial. So, as we humans view it, natural selection working on mutation is actually a tautology, and can never be proven. Scientific theories that are tautologies and unprovable are really pretty lame.

As for Lamarck and the inheritance of acquired characteristics, it is clear that broken legs do not get passed on, but changes in the genes that are acquired in other ways than random mistakes may conceivably have some effect.

Spetner's book is available from Amazon and selling well there, but I don't think it is making a dent otherwise in the general trade market or in the mainstream scientific community. Even though it is enemy territory for you, I think you would enjoy reading it. I also hardily recommend William A. Dembski's book 'Intelligent Design' coming out next month, and his previous book, even though it has the very unfortunate title of 'Mere Creation.'

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:11:57 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Re: Thanks, Way
Message:
I think what you may be thinking of is the rate of random mutation in DNA duplication.

That's what I'm thinking. If it was every 400 million years that DNA made a mistake in it's replication, we'd still be paramecium. I'm just not thinking very hard on this. I think it's good that you're presenting counter arguments to Darwinian theory, even if they appear more ludicrous than said theory, which they do. To me, at least.

But yes, there seems room for debate that the random mutation theory might not be so accurate, although I still think it's correct. Heck, unless there is indisputable evidence that it's all by design, it would HAVE to be random. It couldn't be any other way. And that evidence that it was by design just doesn't exist, not unless you twist the facts to make it look that way.

As for natural selection being a tautology, there is the fossil record to back it up, maybe not step by step, but I think enough to give the theory credence. And of course there's the famous peppered moth, as well as the beak of the finch, and I don't know what else. We've only got so much to work with, Way. To my (feeble) mind, natural selection as a theory for what caused the facts shines a lot more brightly than arguments against it.

I'll keep my eye out for 'Intelligent Design'. The title itself makes it clear that the author is looking for a good fight. It should be fun to watch, as well as participate in, as I'm sure we will do here.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:10:44 (EDT)
From: Jerry
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: Re: Experts and evolution
Message:
It is Spetner's major point in his book that random mutations almost always delete some information from the genome, rather than adding information, and evolution absolutely requires the addition of information.

How did Spetner determine this to be the case, that random mutations 'almost always' delete information, and how is it that evolution 'absolutely requires' the addition of information? Is there a general consensus on this? Would a scientist such as, say, Richard Dawkins, agree? I'd be interested to know, and if it's true, what he'd have to say about it.

I haven't read the book, Way, but I would be interested in thumbing through it to see if it can present a convincing argument that Darwin might be wrong. I'm open-minded about it, in response to your question below.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:09:06 (EDT)
From: Way
Email: None
To: Way
Subject: To Jerry
Message:
Jerry,

It is interesting that you would like to see a debate between the experts. Recently, both Dawkins and Behe were invited to a televised debate. Behe was delighted to accept, but Dawkins declined the invitation.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:08:15 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Tomorrow's Hamster day
Message:
I understand that the Hamster's chattering to all the baby gerbils via satellite tomorrow. Anyone taking the day off for this 'event'?
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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 23:43:43 (EDT)
From: youngold
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: 3 cents
Message:
I ‘m sorry if it sounds superficial, it’s more just a brief overview.

There were plenty of times when things were difficult and confusing back then. But so
was hearing all of Sister Mary Katolic’s advice on sex, hell, and erections. And parental
advice on the future and college. And the boss’s advice on how to get ahead at your job.

We put our hearts and souls into what M was saying. I was disappointed that it did not
become what I imagined. But I still feel I am involved with my life and lessons come all
the time. I am still growing.

But I did learn a lot from all that I went through. Maybe the standards of K are impossible
to achieve. Maybe shooting for them takes you a great distance in the process.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:41:16 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: I DO Have A Problem With This
Message:
And here is why....

I respect what you are saying Youngblood, but it doesn't work for me. First, I hear in what you say Maharaji's line that people are only down on him because he and knowledge aren't what they wanted them to be. It's because we had pre-conceived notions and because it turned out differently, that makes us less than grateful to him, it's just not his fault, it's our own damn fault. I say bullshit.

Whatever it was I 'imagined' about knowledge, I learned as a premie to discount. We were thoroughly indoctrinated to judge NOTHING about knowledge and Maharaji and if you will notice, premies are still programmed that way today. That's why a premie can be completely miserable and still talk about being in THAT place that is just SO BEAUTIFUL, can overlook Maharaji's obscene lifestyle, and ignore the fact that Maharaji once proclaimed himself as god.

People have a right, no an obligation, to recognize the reality of those things, to hold things to a certain level of analysis. Otherwise, you give up part of what it means to be a whole person -- the ability to comprehend and judge things like Maharaji and his cult, and to judge them by the very standards Maharaji said to use, as well as by your own, personal values.

It also is meaningless to make excuses for damaging events just because other, unrelated, events are also damaging. Yes, some of the stuff the nuns taught me in school was pretty off the wall, but that doesn't let Maharaji off the hook for inticing me into entering, and scaring me into staying in, his ashrams for 10 years being poor and celibate. And how does what I 'imagine' or I "imagined" about that have any relevence whatsoever?

And I'm all for learning in every situation. I learned a lot as a premie, and I've learned a lot since. So? Now I will turn your logic back on you: I would have learned a lot being in prison, in a concentration camp, suffering a massive head wound, or being confined to a wheelchair. But what does that have to do with anything?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:22:44 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: You're full of shit, I'm afraid
Message:
YO,

No offence or anything ('none taken, Jim' 'Good, then I'll be frank' 'Sure, by all means' 'Yes, well, exactly'), but you're really blowing smoke a bit, aren't you? You want to compare Maharaji's advice to forfeit your mind to the boss's advice on how to get ahead at work? Why not throw in mom telling you to clean your room? Why'd you leave that one out? It couldn't have been that much more traumatic than the ashram, could it?

You talk the empty-headed talk of one of our new age friends:

But I still feel I am involved with my life and lessons come all the time. I am still growing.

If this kind of packaging material means anything to you, I'd love to know what it is. I've been throwing this stuff out for years. How was I to know there was a market for phrases like 'I'm still involved with my life'? Like, who'd have ever guessed, hm?

I don't mean to be harsh. ..... Okay, I didn't mean to be harsh. Then, well, I guess I started meaning to be harsh. Sorry.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 00:49:43 (EDT)
From: Marianne
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: I had the same assessment as Youngold
Message:
Jim & YO: Jim, I don't think you should be so hasty or vituperative in your dismissal of YO. If you read the Journey I posted back in April -- ages ago it seems -- I concluded it with the observation that I was thankful to M for the gifts he had bestowed upon me. Today, I no longer believe he bestowed any gifts upon me. I wrote my Journey coming from a perspective somewhat similar to YO. I had been away from DLM for over 20 years and did not even know that it was called Elan Vital. I thought that the ex-premie site had misspelled M's name as Maharaji, as opposed to Maharaj Ji. It took reading the forum and others' journeys to educate me about M and the 'gifts' I thought I received from him.

YO is an occasional visitor to this site. YO, did you know that there are 2 women who post here who were sexually abused by Mahatma Jagdeo when they were children? Did you know that the sexual abuse was reported to Maharaji in the late '70's, and Jagdeo was still permitted access to young children? Do you know about Mahatma Fakiranand beating a Detroit resident in the head with a hammer after he threw a pie in Maharaji's face in the months preceding Millennium, and that Fakiranand was spirited out of the US afterwards? Do you know that Maharaji has gold toilets in his house?

I think that the process of deciding how one feels about M is slow and has to be done at one's own speed. It is wrong, in my opinion, to denigrate a new poster who is offering a rather non-judgmental view of M. YO should be encouraged to stick around and participate in the discussion rather than given a verbal swift kick in the butt for his differing view.

YO, where did you live? Tell us something about your experiences. I'm listening.

Marianne

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 02:02:39 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Marianne
Subject: Yeah, you're right
Message:
I stand corrected. YO, forgive me for jumping all over you.

Your witness.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:58:06 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Deputy Dog
Subject: Yeah, well I've changed it again
Message:
YO has exhausted my benefit of the doubt. His posts today show me that he's hopeless. No point talking to someone like that. Like what? I'm going to remind him about m's casualites and he's going to what? Think about it? No, I don't think so. We're talking deeply superficial.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:20:14 (EDT)
From: Shp
Email: None
To: Deputy Dog
Subject: Leave a tender moment alone
Message:
DD,

I had the rare privilege to serve as a video production assistant at small private concert given by Billy Joel last week in NYC. I feel compelled to say to you that we need to 'leave a tender moment alone', as Billy sang. They are so precious and rare, and are the seeds that could possibly bloom into some sort of understanding.

A short time ago Jim ran a post entitled something like 'who can trust Sanford Pass?' (That's me, no pseudonym). He thought I was posting under aliases and he pretty much assumed (ass-u-me) he was right. I peacefully corrected him and he backed off. After accepting his apology, I then kind of revved on his mistake and pointed out that we can't always trust someone because they come on strong, etc. My words may have been accurate and my motive was not malicious, but my timing and sensitivity to the moment was way off. If I had kept my mouth shut and let his apology be the end of that matter, the innate intelligence of the readers would have filled in all the blanks, and what little rapport if any exists between premies and ex-premies as individual human beings might have been strengthened.

I find YO to be an articulate intelligent individual and have appreciated his ability to express online. Why don't you just leave this tender moment alone and trust that YO knows how to handle himself. It's time for us to grow up a bit. And the way I figure it, if Jim can say he's sorry, then you and I can be gracious enough to allow the grace from that to flow.

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you want different results here, then it's time to do things differently than you have been. People change. Give peace a chance, if peace is what you want.

Shp

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 18:54:53 (EDT)
From: Shp
Email: None
To: Deputy Dog
Subject: Acting and not reacting
Message:
It's always so easy to be outrageous or judgemental and then say 'somebody else made me do it.' I don't know about you, but the only person in the universe I can hope to ever control is myself. Realizing this more and more daily, I put my effort in that direction and don't occupy myself with trying to control, judge or change the behavior of others. Real change comes from within.
You have a nice day.
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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 22:26:20 (EDT)
From: Deputy Dog
Email: None
To: Shp
Subject: Re: Acting and not reacting
Message:
Shp,

Your 'Leave a tender moment alone' post was absolutely hilarious. Sorry I just couldn't resist. Besides they are starting to delete my posts anyway, so it shouldn't make any difference.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

DD

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 22:03:17 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Shp
Subject: Sanford Pass: Sandbox Landscaper
Message:
I think it's time you wrote a book, Shp. The whole world's waiting.
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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:15:36 (EDT)
From: gERrY
Email: None
To: Shp
Subject: ***Psychotic reaction***
Message:
It take some bit of creative genius to be truly outrageous. And I know one thing, I can't even control myself, let alone anyone else! But as you said, there's always hope.

'Change comes from within,' well, I guess. Actually, fuck change. I'm goin' with what I got. It all comes out in the end anyway.

If Rick was here, he give you a cyber-enema for saying 'more and more.' A word to the wise is sufficient. A penny saved...

Let's see did I forget anything? Oh yes, sleep tight, Sandy, and don't let the bedbugs bite...

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 13:54:09 (EDT)
From: Shp
Email: None
To: gERrY
Subject: Waiter, there;s a psychotic reaction...
Message:
floating around in the watery soup of my mind.

Waiter: What's it doing?

Shp: Getting critiqued. By the way, what is the enema of the day?

Waiter: Oatstraw and coffee, very good for the brain and the liver.

Shp: Fine. I'll have one and send some over to that table where the critics are, with my compliments.

Waiter: Very good.

A Cyber Toast:
I'll drink to those who do
I'll drink to those who don't
But not to those who say they will
And later say they won't.

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 16:34:07 (EDT)
From: gerry
Email: None
To: Shp
Subject: LOL, good one, Sandy (NT)
Message:
nt
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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 10:48:33 (EDT)
From: Dr Octopus
Email: None
To: gERrY
Subject: Re: ***Psychotic reaction***
Message:
'A man who never changes his mind is like stagnant water and breeds reptiles of the mind' - Wm Blake.

Verbum sapienti?

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Date: Thurs, Oct 21, 1999 at 14:17:28 (EDT)
From: Shp
Email: None
To: Dr Octopus
Subject: The mollusk calls the reptile a lowlife
Message:
If you are implying that I don't change my mind, you missed the point and spun it to suit your own ends.

'The octopus may conceal itself by discharging a cloud of inky fluid' (in the form of a post or thread)....
- World Book Encyclopedia

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 22:29:35 (EDT)
From: youngold
Email: None
To: All
Subject: my 2 cents
Message:
When I was 18, I received k in 1972, went to India for six weeks, lived in premie houses
for a year and an ashram for 2 years. I’ve had several “transcendent” experiences in
meditation way back then. In the ashram I was in, it was rather low key. It gave me the
opportunity to concentrate on meditation without being concerned with basic survival.

I left the ashram to find a mate. I got married, and started my own business that I still run
to this day. I also have four kids. I find it difficult to practice K not only because of the
time crunch and exhausting day to day rhythms, but I also felt that the local
programs/video presentations were dry and stifling. They were not something I wanted to
bring anyone to. I had stopped telling anyone about K years ago, as I am not sure the pay
off is worth the effort required.

I don’t regret anything I went through. It was my life’s experience and it makes a great
story. I’ve met great people, many that I still see to this day. There were the con men,
the saints, the liars, the friends, the teachers and the selfish tricksters. Perhaps I would
have met all these no matter how my life had gone. I feel bad only when I imagine that my
life should have gone some other way. But I chose this way.

I am not ready to write M off . I have a great deal of love for him, and I’ve always done
as much as I thought I could to follow his advice. Reading the history of D.L.M. on that
other website actually gave me some confidence that this meditation is based on an old
system that actually does have great benefit. (Rhadasuami, or whatever)

Anyway, I enjoy looking in on this site and reading everyone’s experiences, good and bad.
I test myself, and see how I really feel about this whole thing.

Thanks for your time.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:56:12 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: Well Good For You
Message:
Let me get this straight. You don't practice knowledge because you're not sure it's worth it. You don't go to videos/programs because they are dry and boring. You don't tell anyone about knowledge, and haven't for years, because you're 'not sure the pay off is worth the effort required.' [I assume neither for you nor for anyone you tell who might potentially get involved.]

After this amazingly lukewarm opinion about what Maharaji has to offer, you say you aren't ready to write Maharaji off and you still love him? I guess my question is, why? Sounds like you HAVE written him off, except as some kind of mythical love relationship, mostly in your own head.

And regarding a love relationship, I would just ask whether you have ever even MET Maharaji? Do you know him personally? How can you possibly LOVE someone, you don't even know? Really, youngblood, I think you are in love with the IDEA of Maharaji -- in love with the presentation he gives at programs and events, up there, 50 yards away from you. I used to be the same way. But that isn't love. I'm not sure what it is, but it isn't love.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:14:34 (EDT)
From: bb
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: Re: my 2 cents
Message:
Hi middle ager,
Tell me, you know how m was the lord, now he thinks there
IS no god, just him the master who should be
elevated because of his 'service' of marketing the breath
and eyeclosing and earplugging.

What do you now think about life? Is there a god?
If there is, how is m a benefit when he sits square
in the way of you dealing freely with that issue?

To m and others like him, there is nothing in life that
they have to be accountable to except his own desires
and no one is allowed to even give him feedback or
correct him or complain about him.
As he said recently, 'quit bitching and complaining!'

Only HE may decide what is right and only HE knows about
life and only HE is the master of life and only HE
is the incarnation of god. Whatever THAT means since
he doesnt even think there IS a self aware god.

His vast pride has tripped him up time and again. He avoided
his mom for 17 years till she finally died. THEN he
woke up somewhat. Brilliant! Fit punishment for keeping
all of us from normal lives with our families.

I understand how programming looks better
after time and distance, but not for long, the rotten
effects become clear at some point and you try to
recover then and not deny anymore.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 22:53:10 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: youngold
Subject: Look a little deeper, perhaps
Message:
Hi Youngold ('yo'?),

Don't mean to be rude but your account strikes me as pretty superificial. Not to mention conveniently bereft of stickly, problematic little details. You talk about the easy way you entered, then left the ashram. No big deal, right? It was all kind of low-key, like a spiritual hostel or something. Is that it?

I say that if you remember it that way you're forgetting the real story. Start with the mind. Did you ever fear it? Do you remember the early satsangs? M's letter to all new premies warning that the mind was poison and k the antidote? Tell me you didn't stress out a bit over that, particularly when you left the ashram. Tell me you didn't think you might be tossing yourself over a cliff, eternal fate-wise.

The only way anyone can ever even think of absolving m as you're trying to is by whitewashing all he put us through. If that's your inclination, help yourself. But don't expect me for one to buy it. I was there.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 19:50:02 (EDT)
From: JHB
Email: brauns@dircon.co.uk
To: All
Subject: Propagation
Message:
We all know that premies read this forum, and some post here. So here's a question which any devotee would have no problem answering:-

What propagation have you done in the last 5 years?

I know I didn't do any in the 15 years (maybe longer) before I left M. Was I unusual in this respect, or are all the premies like I was?

John.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:03:59 (EDT)
From: kmdarling
Email: unlimited@aol.com
To: JHB
Subject: Re: I DID PROPAGATION (PRACHAR, that is)
Message:
Yes, I did propagation. I even walked up and down Brighton promenade wearing a double-sided sandwich-board that said “The Lord has come” or some such twaddle.

Then M sent me to “do prachar (the old word for propagation)” in Spain because I spoke high-school Spanish, and later in South America. I definitely propagated Knowledge.

I meant well, honestly!

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:18:34 (EDT)
From: Enough
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: Re: Propagation
Message:
Hi JHB,

When I left cult in 1996, the general tone was invite the poor chumps in the most generic way possible,answer questions only minimally if necessary and tell them that Blobbo Ji will answer all questions in video. I heard David Smith say this myself all though I do admit to paraphrasing him just slightly.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 20:02:55 (EDT)
From: Cynthia G.
Email: cynthia@madriver.com
To: JHB
Subject: Re: Propagation
Message:
Dear JHB,

I never brought anyone to k. I was actually embarrassed to try to talk to people about m. I always felt very guilty about what I know was a doubt I had about the whole thing.

In retrospect, I'm so glad I never brought anyone into the cult.

Best to you, Cynthia

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 12:01:41 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: All
Subject: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Hi everyone -
As I wrote in my 'support for recent exes' post below, I recently got a couple of phone calls and some e-mail that made me see that there was a definite need for a private forum for recent exes - especially for those who'd been involved for many years (I put up a thread about this on Forum IV). I'd be very grateful if you'd be willing to participate. There are a lot of people who left M recently who have issues or regrets about leaving which they may not feel comfortable talking about on Forum IV, since it's so public. I hope the recent exes forum will provide a place where they can express these feelings freely without fear.

Anyway, I've set up a new password protected, limited-access forum for recent exes only. (This is a trial forum, so we have to tolerate banner ads for a while until we see if it gets much traffic.) I've invited several people to post here already, so the conversation is already going on. It's another Paradise forum, so the format is just like that of Forum IV.

If anyone who posts or reads here thinks they might benefit from this forum, please e-mail me at mishkat@gateway.net
to get the URL and password for this forum. (I promise to keep all e-mail addresses and identities confidential, BTW.)

Take care, all -
Katie

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:58:50 (EDT)
From: Cynthia G.
Email: cynthia@madriver.com
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
I've just read all the posts regarding secrecy, etc. and the pros and cons of having a separate site for new exes.

Secrecy is a very dangerous thing especially when cults are involved. Secrecy is dangerous because it is the foundation of living in an abusive home 'a family is as sick as the secrets it keeps.' Isn't m's world a family? However, there is a difference between secrecy and PRIVACY.

NOTE: I'VE NOTICED A LOT OF SARCASM ON THIS WEBSITE AND I DON'T APPRECIATE IT ONE BIT. FYI , THE DEFINITION OF SARCASM IS THAT IT IS A WORD DERIVED FROM THE GREEK LANGUAGE MEANING.....THE TEARING OR RIPPING OF FLESH!!!!!!! THINK ABOUT IT.

ALSO, SARCASM IS A SYMPTON OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS. ONE THING I'VE LEARNED IN MY LIFE IS THAT SARCASM IS AS HURTFUL AS A LITERAL SLAP IN THE FACE--IT JUST HAS A DELAYED EFFECT. IT'S ONE THING TO BE HUMOUS OR IRONIC, AND SARCASM CAN BE FUNNY IF IT ISN'T HURTFUL..THERE'S A LOT OF BULLSHIT ON THIS WEBSITE. MAYBE SOME OF YOU OLD EXES SHOULD JUST LEAVE AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIVES SO THE REST OF US CAN HAVE A CHANCE TO EXPRESS OURSELVES WITHOUT BEING ABUSED BY THE VERY FORUM THAT HAS BEEN DESIGNED TO HELP PREMIES OUT OF THE CULT.

MY BULLSHIT TOLERANCE LEVEL IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW TODAY LET'S GET DOWN TO SOME REAL CONVERSATION HERE. I AM REALLY PISSED AT THOSE OF YOU POSTING HERE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. GET A LIFE!!!!!

No, I'm not being hormonal, Cynthia

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:49:26 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: Are we feeling better now?
Message:
Cynthia,

Who the hell do you think you are anyway? This isn't a monster truck rally but it's not a preemie nursery either. Your rant is out of line and you can take that any way you want. Sarcastic, not sarcastic, whatever. I don't need some bitch telling me when I can laugh and at what. Thanks anyway.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 19:15:20 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
I'm sympathetic to what you say but having participated for a few years, I've come to deal with what goes on here.

Personally, I don't need a lot of 'hi, how are ya' or 'right ons' which I have to click, click, click and click to see that that's all that's there.

I can handle the lewd stuff, but I could do without it, too. And I find some things funny, but I have to admit, I'm really on this site for a reason and sometimes people seem to think that they should pile on the posts to say anything but what is actually being discussed.

But I stick to my guns about what I have to say. Someone who has more time, gumption, or bad manners may post 20 times against my point of view, but someone who needs to see mine might see it.

The people who post are the editorial point of view of the forum. If you can come to grips with what you don't like and deal with it (like knowing what you don't want to read and not reading it and other creative deletion methods) you can contribute and say what you have to say.

And somebody might agree with you. There's probably a lot of people out there for each person who posts. It's a public place designed to handle huge numbers of people coming in and out.

So maybe you can make more the place you want it to be by staying.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:00:27 (EDT)
From: Monmot
Email: None
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
I get the feeling that your anger is less because of intermittent off-topic/vacuous/sarcastic conversations and comments, and more because your comments about abusive homes triggered a constellation of hot spots within you which perhaps are still to be healed. I agree that sarcasm can be very hurtful, particularly in a venue such as this where we may be vulnerable, and to be attacked by persons you don't know (and who don't know you) adds salt to the wound. Placing blame/responsibility for these occurrences on 'old' exes is not the answer and not necessarily true. I don't know what the answer is, to be honest. It's not a function of time if people are rude and/or ignorant. Some old exes have a lot to offer in terms of information and support. And, yes, Virginia, most old exes do have a life, just like new exes. It's a bit insulting to insinuate otherwise. I visit on occasion when time permits, and on occasion I post. Many times I don't post because I don't want to expose such personal information and be susceptible to attack through either misunderstanding or just plain orneriness on someone's part. I do post, however, and reveal more of myself if and when I feel that it might be supportive to do so.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:08:27 (EDT)
From: Cynthia G.
Email: cynthia@madriver.com
To: Monmot
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Dear Monmot,

FYI, My name is Cynthia not Virginia.

Please don't psychoanalyze what my 'triggers' are. I've been in psychotherapy for almost 10 years and I know my own triggers and through the years have desensitized myself to more than you can imagine. Of course there are triggers inside each of us. Check out the post below and see what I mean. As a woman, I don't appreciate this kind of crap.

Listen to the last message in my thread EARTHQUAKE HITS CALIFORNIA which is an audio from Charlene whoever that is. It's totally uncalled for. Recovering from a cult is no joke. If it's acceptable use derogative and foul language against women, then some folks here have a lot to learn.

Furthermore, I don't 'insinuate.' I tell it like it is. You won't find too many people more forthright and honest. I am a ' what you see is what you get' person. At least I have the courage to become angry instead of being passive-aggressive and sarcastic. I have learned over the years that finding one's anger, learning how to direct it to it's proper place, and expressing it without hurting anyone is the healthiest way to live. I WAS directing my anger toward exes here because of the degrading things they have written. If I stung anyone by saying 'get a life' I do sincerely apologize (however that phrase seems to be a big trigger here),

It seems that for some posters this forum is just a playground for people to have fun rather than a place for real healing. What is the real purpose/agenda of this web-site? So far, I've read more rude, crude, obscene and yes, sarcastic posts than productive healing work here. I don't understand the obsession of some posters who seem to want to rehash the history of the cult. That's why I said 'get a life.' And perhaps I triggered you by saying that. That's for you to determine, by yourself, to yourself and it's none of my business. I believe that for me it's time to move on. If exposing and destroying maharaji's cult is the main purpose of this site, then it definitely is not for me. You see, I really don't care about him anymore. I can't be the protector of people who find themselves becoming involved. And if anyone thinks they have the power to stop him you're deluding yourself. He's scammed so many people and he's not going to stop. As I said, we are all resonsible for our own actions and words.

I have made and fulfilled a promise to myself to complete my healing process at any cost. That cost has very often meant going through much grieving and a lot of pain, but the work involved is always worth it in the long run. And believe me, it takes a lot of courage. I've met people from cults which are so profoundly damaging to children (and later in life in adulthood) that exiting m's cult seems like a piece of cake. I don't mean to offend anyone's sensibilities by saying this. I'm simply comparing what I have witnessed in women and men I have grown to know who continue to be stalked by their abusers, have had to change their identies, constantly move from place to place, and worry constantly about being captured again. So please don't tell me about triggers. I'm an expert on triggers. I'm not minimizing the extent of damage maharaji has done to people. I am puzzled by the focus on m. Isn't the point of exiting m's cult NOT to focus on him? After all the years were were conditioned TO focus upon him and him alone?

Perhaps this site is not for me. My personal history of severe, prolonged child abuse and the immense amount of work I have done in my own healing surrounding what happened to me as a child is the most important thing to me. I am a very healthy person now. There are a lot of ex-premies here who need help. That's why I starting posting.

Furthermore, participating in a website can never be a substitute for real healing work with a person-to-person, real life, face to face professional. We were in a cult, and deprogramming ourselves by only using a websit can be very detrimental to a person's psychological health. Especially after what I've read here.

I sincerely believe that respect for eachother should be the first priority. As far a lurkers are concerned, that is the least of my concerns. I believe if the exes here are truly honest to themselves about existing the cult, focusing on m, the past, as well as the present, doesn't feel particularly healthy.

My current goal is to NOT focus upon him anymore. Isn't that the point?

Sincerely, Cynthia

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 16:53:11 (EDT)
From: JW
Email: None
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Cynthia,

I don't think you can avoid talking about M on this site. Some people are talking about him for the first time in a fashion that is both objective and honest. That's an important part of the 'healing' you are talking about. Maybe not for you, but it is for many people. Older exes can fulfill the function of speaking openly about M without fear. That is very important and liberating to a lot of people. But the discussion here can be wide-ranging. That's the nature of free discussion, something that is NONEXISTENT in the premie world, especially on those controlled, censored ('happyface') websites that the cult operates.

I also disagree with you that this website isn't having an effect on Maharaji. I think it has had a tremendous effect, both by helping a lot of fence-sitting premies get out of his grips, and also, I believe, it has basically shut down his propogation efforts in the west. When is the last time M did an indroductory program in North America? And how many people received knowledge in North America and the UK last year? Hardly any. I attribute a lot of that to exes who are willing to talk about, expose, Maharaji for what he is.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:08:22 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: To Cynthia
Message:
Dear Cynthia -
I'm glad I don't have audio on my computer (I don't like noise, so I won't even hook up my speakers), so I didn't have to hear the message from 'Charlene'. One thing to bear in mind, though, is that some of the people who post here, particularly the anonymous one-time only posters, are not premies or ex-premie, but merely people who've stumbled on this forum and are seeking to be annoying.

As far as the posts on the forum - IMHO, it's a dynamic cycle. Sometimes there are just a bunch of humorous or off-topic posts, and other times people get into discussing real. I have to admit to having participated in a number of off-topic discussions myself - I kind of like them because they often help me get to know more about other people on the forum.

You wrote:
I don't understand the obsession of some posters who seem to want to rehash the history of the cult. That's why I said 'get a life.' And perhaps I triggered you by saying that. That's for you to determine, by yourself, to yourself and it's none of my business. I believe that for me it's time to move on. If exposing and destroying maharaji's cult is the main purpose of this site, then it definitely is not for me. You see, I really don't care about him anymore.

There are people who post on the forum primarily for the reason of exposing Maharaji's cult. There are other people who use it as a support group. I myself am and have been VERY bored by Maharaji, so I prefer to think of the forum as a support group. I do think that the two purposes can exist, though.

As far as people re-hashing past history and talking about Maharaji, I do think this has been therapeutic for many people here. There were so many things we were not allowed to talk about when we were IN the cult, and that no one outside the cult was interested in. Many people here have been able to tell their experiences for the first time, to people who will understand and relate. Also, many people have repressed memories of their days in the cult, so talking over things that happened in the past helps brings these memories to light. Not that these memories are necessarily earthshaking, but it's nice to feel that you've got a missing piece of your life back.

I also think that a certain amount of talk about Maharaji can be helpful for people, especially when they first find the forum. There is sort of an element of 'The Emperor Has No Clothes!' about it, and I think that this helps people to redefine their image of Maharaji. I agree that many of the things said are rude and crude, but many of us underwent arrested emotional development as a result of our cult experiences, so I guess that's to be expected.

You also wrote:
Furthermore, participating in a website can never be a substitute for real healing work with a person-to-person, real life, face to face professional. We were in a cult, and deprogramming ourselves by only using a website can be very detrimental to a person's psychological health. Especially after what I've read here.

I sincerely believe that respect for each other should be the first priority.

I agree with you about treating other people here with respect, whether they're ex-premies or premies. The forum can get pretty rough at times, and often a thick skin is needed to participate. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but efforts to change this haven't helped much. I've always encouraged people who feel shy about participating in the forum to find some people they feel comfortable with that they can correspond with privately. However, I have definite people-pleasing tendencies, and participating in the forum has helped me a lot with those - I've learned that there are people who are not going to like me, no matter what, and I've become more assertive.

As far as the forum not being a substitute for therapy, I agree (although I have heard from other people that it's difficult to find a therapist who understands cults. Also, many people cannot afford therapy.) I do think the forum has its place as a support group, though, although, as you pointed out, it could sometimes be a lot more supportive than it actually is! I know that many, many people have benefited from the forum, however, and I hope it continues to be a place where people can find help and support.

Take care, Cynthia,
Katie

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 10:28:31 (EDT)
From: biff
Email: katie=love@eternal jhs gabriel :-)
To: Katie
Subject: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
Katie,

Just so you don't think I ignored you you may not have noticed but I posted to you on 'A. goes' and you have to click 'view all' to see it. It's in the 'joey's conversion' thread.

Joey, there's also some commentary there that may interest you as well.

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Date: Fri, Oct 22, 1999 at 15:50:23 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: None
To: biff
Subject: Re: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
Hi Biff -
I answered you on A.G., plus I'm also defending your existence in some threads above.

Take care,
Love,
Katie

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Date: Sat, Oct 23, 1999 at 14:33:34 (EDT)
From: biff
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
Hey Katie!

Thanks. I only saw one thread above with my name in it so if there are others please tell me where they are. thank you.

And thanks for vouching for me! I just read your little back and forth with joey (zee einstein) and it made me sick. Gave me the same creepy exasperated feeling he did back when he started up with me before you pointed out to him that I'd been here like a year or two longer then him and he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. I am a little surprised at his continuance of the same crap but perhaps I shouldn't be. Let this be a lesson to all those who thought that maybe he'd really changed. He's only 'changed' if he decides that you're o.k. but if you get on or are still on his hit list then look out-same old same old. I won't say more (and believe me Katie I'm holding back big time) because I don't want to become his next barney.

Gerry was right after all. Pity.

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Date: Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 11:30:41 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: biff
Subject: Re: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
Hey Biff -
I think you got the thread I was talking about (I don't know why I put threadS - maybe I meant postS?). Yes, I agree that it's frustrating and exasperating to have your veracity challenged - I know one person who just about quit the forum because of it (and I'm REALLY glad she did not). I'm not exactly sure what to do about it, honestly - I mean, how can you 'prove' your existence in cyberspace? I can't imagine how I'd do it, and I know it would make me want to get out of here ASAP.

I know that if I start doubting that people on the forum are who they say they are, it makes me feel crazy. Better to take people at face value and get fooled a couple of time (as with Rob and Blackdog), I think. IMHO it's far less damaging that being suspicious of every new person on the forum.

Take care, biff -
Love,
Katie

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Date: Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 13:16:07 (EDT)
From: biff
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
I agree with you totally (usually do :-)) but the funny thing about joey's biff obsession is that I wasn't 'new' when he first attacked me. I was an old vet. But because HE didn't remember/know me, and he had decided that I was 'new' and that I was in fact 'nil' he never looked back. Even after you immediately (er.umm..after posting like maybe 2 or 3 times as 'little brother' [which by the way was done as a play on words- I had just been to M's then new site and was freaked by all the 'big brother' type security measures and came here to comment on it and called myself 'little brother' as in 'well if he's big brother then I guess I and all others are 'little brother' ' maybe it was too subtle?:-) but I figured readers would get it] I revealed that lb was actually me)...after you came to my defence instead of going 'oh I see.sorry biff, I didn't realize that you were a well known legitimate poster. My mistake, sorry' , well instead of doing that, joey just wouldn't/couldn't let go his delusion. He was rude, condescending, aggressive, and quite psychotic to my eyes. He was really driving me nuts with his madness. He shouldn't have affected me. I should have realized that he was a disturbed individual and not let it get to me but somehow it did. It was exceptionally frustrating being accused of being nil, not because it was nil, but because I am not nil and never have been. I have been and remain the eternal biff:-) I posted a few times as little brother, and once in the very old days I posted under the name 'darwin' to comment on evolution. But other then that I have always posted as biff(or bftb before its evolution to biff)

Eventually (as we all witnessed) he went completely psycho with his whole 'barney is satan' trip. Then in a near miraculous turn of events he saw the light and came to understand the dynamics of his delusionary thinking and how he ended up prisoner to his way of approaching things here. I was skeptical but thought 'well we'll just wait and see'. Little by little I started sensing the same old edge in several of joey's posts and the same old pattern of thinking. He's still thinking that HE KNOWS who's who and what's what and the only difference between his behavior now and before his 'grand epiphany' is that he'll refrain from attack unless he's 100% CONVINCED(in his mind) THAT HE'S RIGHT.

Well big fucking deal. The fact is that he's obviously learnt nothing and is still the same old same old. How do I KNOW this? Because I know for 100% FACT that I am not anyone other then myself. So since I know that he's wrong about me but remains convinced that he's right; I KNOW that his thinking still works the same way.

Now some people may be reading this and rolling their eyes thinking 'why is biff discussing this oh so sensitive topic? I thought we'd buried it. He's stirring up a hornets nest' Because I don't give a shit at this point about joey and his particular sensitivities. I will not walk on eggshells around him because he's a fucking frootloop and I may upset his fragile new supposed equilibrium. I don't give a shit how he's affected at this point because he has pissed me off one too many times now so fuckim!

And you know another reason I'm no longer willing to be patient with his problems? Because the end of a whole excersize in a dialogue with him at this point would be that he would probably (hopefully) end up realizing that he's been as wrong about me as he was about Abi ( and when he blasted her the first time I knew it was him and wanted to give him a piece of my mind about how his psychosis had really gone over the line that time.but I didn't because I just didn't want to start up with the lunatic) and then he'd have another 'I apologize' thread to do and we'd all rush to say 'oh that's o.k. joey. you should just try to take people at face value from now on. You might stop hurting people then' and it would be a big group hug for joey because he has had another 'breakthrough' and well frankly..I just don't think he's worth the effort anymore. I don't give a shit if he ever snaps out of his way of thinking. I don't like him at all. I think that aside from all the crap he spews, he's just not a very nice person. I find him mean.

Anyway Katie I want to thank you again for coming to my defence (no other old timers did-even jw didn't confront joey above when joey called me 'a disturbing character') because really you have saved my sanity about this whole thing. Any time you've defended me it's been like 'thank god for katie or I'd possibly lose it over this'

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Date: Sun, Oct 24, 1999 at 18:59:23 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: None
To: biff
Subject: Re: for katie and joey (off topic)
Message:
Hey biff,
I don't want to diss Joey too bad here, because I have e-mailed with him a lot and talked to him on the phone quite a bit, and I do think he's basically a good person. Plus I think he is really TRYING, at this point, to be respectful of other people on the forum. However, if there's anything Joey and I will part ways about, it may be your actual 'existence' on the forum. As I said earlier, it would make me crazy if someone doubted my existence or veracity or right to post here. Anyway, I am glad that my sticking up for your real existence helped.

Love,
Katie

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:24:00 (EDT)
From: kmdarling
Email: unlimited@aol.com
To: Katie
Subject: TO CYNTHIA & KATIE FROM THE OTHER KATIE
Message:
Dear Cynthia and Katie,

Thanks for your posts. I came back to the ex-premie forum recently after being away for a few years, and found that a lot of the same stuff that I didn't like before was still going on, although there was also some great stuff. A week ago I got totally turned off by yet another sarcastic and P.A. (I love this useful phrase passive-aggressive) response to one of my posts, and haven’t felt like returning. I signed on this evening to lurk a bit and was pleased to see your posts.

It seems to me that being an ex-premie means absolutely nothing about who I am, or how I am, or what I’m doing with my life. Yet when I come to this Forum I feel a bit limited in my self-expression because of the potential for a barrage of put-down if I don’t conform to the main, full-time posters’ views and am not appropriately atheist, cynical (from the Greek word, meaning a dog who always chases his tail), anti-anything-spiritual, and definitely non-new-age omigodno! Let’s keep the old age! It feels to me a bit like the W.P.C. ashram in England in the early 70’s felt to me, come to think of it! A bunch of angry people, not treating each other very lovingly or respectfully.

I noted your comments about developing a thick skin, Katie. The thing for me is that I have so many opportunities to develop this in my daily life (I work with people in various kinds of therapeutic situations). Who needs an AFGO (Another Fucking Growth Opportunity)? So what am I trying to say?

What I want from this Forum is love, respect and support. I feel that under all our bravado, most of us are probably here because some part of us is still hurting or in some way feeling limited by our cult experience with M. In the groups I and my colleagues work with, there are a few basic agreements around communication that make it safe for everyone to express themselves and be vulnerable and be different from the norm, or from the worldview of the more dominant members. In any community, some people are more articulate, clever or in other ways powerful than others. If this power is used unkindly or as a put-down it can create minor woundings that are very similar to the way we were wounded by someone clever and powerful (although not, perhaps very articulate, but with some fast-talking hench-men) who used his power in an inappropriate way with us. I’m not imagining or proposing that this Forum should operate with any particular agreements––it’ll never fly––however, here are some principles that might work really well, in case anyone is moved to incorporate them, in spirit if not in letter:

1) Love, respect and honesty: This Forum is an opportunity for us to heal ourselves and each other through love, respect and honesty. Love means love. Respect means treating everyone with kindness and care, even if I don’t agree with them. Honesty means coming clean about MY motivations, delusions etc., NOT ABOUT YOURS.

2) No attacks. This includes name-calling and all the rest. (Maybe there are people who’ve been here so long that they just love to communicate together in this way. Perhaps you could just e-mail each other angrily, or have your own threads? I agree with other posters that it might be a little intimidating and off-putting for new exes visiting the site looking for support). It’s possible that we are just passing on to each other the kind of energy we received from M and perhaps from other premies or from the organization. Most child-abusers were abused as children. Let’s have the buck stop here, and deal with our anger, not dump it on each other–– perhaps by some good therapy (as you both said, Cynthia and Katie) or perhaps by revving it up into power and using it for constructive purposes. (BTW, if bringing down the cult is your constructive thing, channel your energy there! I've got lots of outlets in my life, but as far as my “ex-premie life“ is concerned, I prefer to channel my energy into supporting people who are going through the very difficult transition into ex-dom).

3) How about we have a discussion that INTEGRATES viewpoints rather than ramming them endlessly against each other. My suggestion is that we try being willing to include each other’s beliefs as interesting alternate viewpoints rather than belligerently polarizing. This has been one of the biggest things I've found in my own life journey: Everything is true, from a particular viewpoint (even what I'm saying now). There’s a way I've found I can disagree that carries a feeling of respect and allowance, and maybe even allows the other person’s viewpoint to penetrate and somewhat influence me (I’ll certainly be more open if it’s lovingly expressed). As I describe in my Journey entry, I worked for many years as a therapist, specializing in cult-exit issues among other things. I started my career with premies and initiators, at a time when leaving was much more unusual than now. The way I was able to really help people wake up and not only move on and out, but also start to reclaim their lost parts and resolve some of the rage, grief, terror, guilt, remorse, shame, confusion, etc. was by NOT OPPOSING their experience, (which would have been opposing my own past self, after all!) even when it was mind-control devotional rambling, but instead creating a space in which that experience could get heard and mediated with an energy of love and acceptance. Many of us did have profound experiences, along with all the BS and mind-control and manipulation, however much we may feel the need to deny it in order to have everything under control and feel sane now. Denying those experiences creates a sort of fixated mass of undigested psychic material, from my observation. What has worked best for me, and for many people I worked with, including several good buddies who are exes (and don’t like the belligerence of this Forum) is to validate the deep inner place that got touched somewhere in our premie journey, and find a way to keep that alive in a new form that doesn't depend on M and the cult. Many of us were deeply idealistic, gave our hearts, yearned for enlightenment, stretched beyond comfort for what we believed to be a higher truth, etc. We’re pissed about this. Many of us have closed down that part of ourselves in protection. One way to keep it alive is to cultivate a lot of kindness and compassion. There are lots of ways to keep this part evolving, of course.

So I’m not saying we shouldn’t disagree with each other. I’m saying take a deep breath (or whatever works) and instead of going with the knee-jerk response of arguing, arguing, arguing (remember that Monty Python sketch “This is not an argument! I’m paying for an argument...”) try honoring the other person and responding with your experience, rather than your opinion about them or their experience. This may not seem like much, but it’s one of those communication devices that makes all the difference in keeping things safe and avoiding the intimidation factor.

Cynthia and Katie, I don’t think the Forum is a substitute for therapy, but it and this page can be a great resource. I’m planning to put up a psychological healing section in the Breaking Free part of the page. I'm incredibly busy on a deadline now, but it’s in my long-term plans. I’d love to hear from you both.

Love Katie Darling

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 23:04:06 (EDT)
From: bb
Email: None
To: kmdarling
Subject: TO CYNTHIA & KATIE FROM THE OTHER KATIE
Message:
Interesting posts.
I have started to really feel how much of a temporary
miracle this place and those in it are.

I have started to really treasure those around me and
you know, that is about all I was after in life it seems.
M took that possibility away with his ruining of my time
and view of life by his I am the almighty lord and I
demand all your 'love' exclusively horror trip.

But, leaving that destructive waste aside, I would guess
that even Cynthia's horrible childhood could be somehow
replaced with the happy reaching out in love to others
in spite of thier capacity to love back at this time.

Those that have harsh relationships with others of whatever
type, are taking moments and doing less than they could
with them. This time is so temporary and people vanish
so quick. Not that I know first hand, no one has died
that I was close to ever......yet! But they will and/or
I will first.

Like Gary said, the involvement with m made him and I
no deal with things that needed dealing with and m got
Gary and I to push aside those that did and could love us
and put a coldness in our hearts that we just have to
replace with the joy of being here.

Long and winding road to get there when you follow
such a lost man.

Cynthia, How are you doing in regards to how you view god
and others now?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:19:28 (EDT)
From: Susan
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: History ( not really on topic )
Message:
I think that the forum, and the discussion of the history of the cult, has inherent value. DLM/EV try to rewrite the history of the cult. Apperently going to the extreme of asking premies to destroy articles from especially embarrassing eras in the cult history. If we don't tell the story of what the cult really WAS then, no one really can no what it is now.

Lots of people's lives have been touched in one way or another by this cult and I think it is very important to document the history. Rawat got a one line in the book 'The Century' and I think behind anything that gets one line in a book such as that there ought to be a refernce for people who for whatever reason want to learn more.

I think it is great that ex premie or and JMs site have these refernces. I do not think the story of DLM should be lost.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:25:08 (EDT)
From: Susan
Email: None
To: Susan
Subject: please excuse the obvious brain malfunction in the above post..me rily can right
Message:
pl
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:49:44 (EDT)
From: Monmot
Email: None
To: Cynthia G.
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
FYI, I know your name is Cynthia, but I guess no humor is good humor, right? I certainly am not psychoanlyzing you, and don't intend to by any means (but it does look like 'trigger' triggered you--but that's for you to ascertain). It just appeared that you were unduly pissed and blaming 'old' exes, rather than exes/posters in general. I'm not defending either group per se, it's just that crass generalizations don't cut it with me. As for the rest of your post, we are almost identical in our experiences/beliefs etc. regarding healing, years of psychotherapy. I, too, have engaged in years of therapy (from years of being battered as a child), and I believe, which I think you do also, that family dysfunction has a lot to do with getting into a cult, and healing that family dysfunction has everything to do with getting out of a cult. I consider myself to be emotionally healthy (I made the same promise to myself as you did to yourself--that, whatever the cost, I had to 'unbend the twig,' so to speak), but it took years, and I mean years, to get there, and none of that healing had anything to do with this site. I began checking out this site because I am in a writing group where it was suggested that I write about my experiences in the cult etc., so I came here to 'remind' myself what it was like. I had and have put a lot of time and distance between myself and M/K/DLM and was curious to see what people's stories were. Basically, I spent a lot of time reading the Journey section because that was most interesting to me and reminded me quite a bit of my experiences etc. Healing? No. Perhaps therapeutic for some, but who can say? But I think that for some people who are at loose ends, this place can be a valuable source for some of the information, suggestions and leads which are given here. I have made the acquaintance of several people through this forum who I consider to be genuinely nice people and who, I hope, get to know better. My computer didn't compute whatever Charlene posted, but I have been fairly amazed at some of the things that have been tossed out to and toward women posting here. Shows some stunning hatred toward women if you ask me. You are not alone in being appalled by that behavior, but I don't think it's necessary to blame old exes. In fact, some of these people spewing invective are active premies, whatever the hell that means.

BTW, congratulations on your success in healing yourself (and I am not being sarcastic). Having gone through what I went through to get there, I have great respect for anyone who's done the same.

Perhaps you're correct, though, and this is not the place for you. That, or you just have to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Thanks and good luck.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 23:16:45 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Hi Katie,

I just wanted to reply to your post, first of all to express my unqualified and really enthusiastic support for your efforts here to create a more safe, secure and even sheltered environment in cyberspace for recent exes.

I believe that its really important that such a space exist because the issues that we have to deal with in recovering and really breaking free are really so personal in nature, the more protected 'limited access' environment would really be more conducive for a meaningful and valuable exchanges to happen.

And the issues in recovery ARE personal, revolving around how we cope with the triggers in our lives, and some of us have to deal with post traumatic stress syndrome.
Of course I don't have to tell you or myself that alot of people leaving the cult, especially if they were in it long term, have alot of anger to deal with. And anger certainly is an issue in recovery, something that has to be dealt with.

And then there's the entire grieving process, because so much has been lost in terms of time, energy , money....and as the dream has shattered around us we see so little good that was gained from the entire expeience however long it was.

But of course life goes on and if you want to live it, you have no choice but to reinvent yourself. Of course in that you may get into an entire identity crisis thing, because ...how can you possibly reinvent yourself if you don't even know who you are...if you've only or primarily looked at it through the chaotic, watery, prism of the hampster's funk??(to steal a phrase from Rabbi Nimstein;)

Of course, now that you've reinvented yourself or at least think you have (should you be so lucky)you'll want to have some relationships in your life...and preferably REAL ones, but whoops... it ain't that easy . And one of the most basic reasons common to us all is that we were violated. It doesn't matter if it was at the ashram or by the hands of Jagdeo, or headfucking techniques for Amtext buyers especially when it was 'discovered' that a premie book buyer wasn't in 'that right place, that right understaning'...I really don't give a fuck(or maybe I do)how it happened...but we were all violated in the cult.It was (and still is BTW:::)) a major fraud and deception that we may feel guilty about letting into our lives to begin with, but hey... once in, could it ever spin our heads around or what?!!

And again I don't care how you to put it in your own life, but I really feel that for many of us we've learned that boundaries were fucked with...physical boundaries even for some, but emotional and mental boundaries for many.
So I believe there's a process of learning how to reestablish and manage those boundaries,at the same time learning how to trust again and they're both really essential to the this entire relationship issue...which still remains a fucking mystery to me.
Well as you can see Katie, there's no lack of issues to be communicated on, stuff thats really important for recent exes to deal with...and if I usesd the term 'we' throughout this post its because I felt that somehow this must be relating...it certainly relates to me!!(it really isn't that I presume to be speaking for everyone)

And the more sheltered, more secure environment may help in giving recent exes who feel that the BIG Forum is too rough to handle, or a littlt too public a place for them , then its great that they're being given an alternative.
There are quite a few exes here in our cyber community who have been out of the cult some for even longer than 15 years. And with time and experience you guys have gained some insight on these issues(well at least hopefully:)that would really contribute to meaningful exchanges and communication. Of course as in any forum of your peers recent exes would also have the benefit of learning from their peers.

I think it all becomes just a little more possible for more people to benefit from the process in that more relaxed 'protected' environment.

And so for everything else you've done, and for what you're still doing ...I thank you and think its just great.

Re:Susan's concern that we'll be deprived of their participation in this forum...I don't know if thats necessarily true. I believe there will always be recent exes coming out of the cult who'll be willing and brave enough to test the waters here right off the bat...but if they're not, and if they're looking for a a more relaxed and focused discussion on the issues that are really affecting them in their recovery, then the type of forum you're describing will make it possible for more people to benefit who might otherwise would not.

Of course who know's, after a little while, feeling more comfortable with themselves in this medium at least some may be willing and feel more prepared to join us here on Forum 4, so we can get to meet them here as well.

In terms of reaching out to recent exes and giving more of them the opportunity to participate and benefit from this medium, I think its very much needed. And premies don't deny it...because you're the recent exes of tomorrow!

You know Katie,Maharaji should be paying us for doing this...and we can talk about that some other time:)
But for now...

Best wishes,
and love,

Joey

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:29:05 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: djrayovac@aol.com
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Joey, I appreciate you post but I'm not sure I agree with
the implications of the fine print in this little section:

'...the issues in recovery [from the cult] ARE personal, revolving around how we cope with the triggers in our lives, and some of us have to deal with post traumatic stress syndrome.'

We usually hear about this thing in relation to Vietnam vets. It has been more recently that it's been in the news in relation to domestic violence.

The syndrome seems to relate to prolonged trauma caused by situations of repeated violence. Being a premie does have trauma attached to it, I agree with that. But for the vast majority of us, there were no prolonged, repeated acts whose presence made us unable to cope with their reality .

The exceptions might be in cases of sexual abuse in our cult. The fact that women are the majority of sufferers of this syndrome speaks volumes about our society(s) more than the cult itself.

The odds of a woman being raped in her lifetime are about 1 in 3. Off-topic, that's also a good reason to consider never using the c-word or the b-word on any forum of people who we wish to respect. You might be screaming at a rape victim (your chances are high). Might as well get racist for equally intelligent kicks. I don't think the n-word would go down to smoothly even on AG and yet I can't see a difference in what HAS gone down. (And I'm not saying Lenny Bruce doesn't has his points- but this is about day-to-day conversationalism).

We could all use more support sometimes around here. Newer exes are a special concern in this way but so are people who have been subject to some of these types of abuse. Rawatt is a mass-abuser and it's likely enough that if you scratch an ex (or a premie) you'll find a previously abused person. It's a shame when we lose sight of that. If we didn't lose sight of it there would probably be less call for another forum.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 11:27:50 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Joey, I appreciate you post but I'm not sure I agree with
the implications of the fine print in this little section:

'...the issues in recovery [from the cult] ARE personal, revolving around how we cope with the triggers in our lives, and some of us have to deal with post traumatic stress syndrome.'

We usually hear about this thing in relation to Vietnam vets. It has been more recently that it's been in the news in relation to domestic violence.

The syndrome seems to relate to prolonged trauma caused by situations of repeated violence. Being a premie does have trauma attached to it, I agree with that. But for the vast majority of us, there were no prolonged, repeated acts whose presence made us unable to cope with their reality .

The exceptions might be in cases of sexual abuse in our cult. The fact that women are the majority of sufferers of this syndrome speaks volumes about our society(s) more than the cult itself.

The odds of a woman being raped in her lifetime are about 1 in 3. Off-topic, that's also a good reason to consider never using the c-word or the b-word on any forum of people who we wish to respect. You might be screaming at a rape victim (your chances are high). Might as well get racist for equally intelligent kicks. I don't think the n-word would go down to smoothly even on AG and yet I can't see a difference in what HAS gone down. (And I'm not saying Lenny Bruce doesn't has his points- but this is about day-to-day conversationalism).

We could all use more support sometimes around here. Newer exes are a special concern in this way but so are people who have been subject to some of these types of abuse. Rawatt is a mass-abuser and it's likely enough that if you scratch an ex (or a premie) you'll find a previously abused person. It's a shame when we lose sight of that. If we didn't lose sight of it there would probably be less call for another forum.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 14:33:18 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Runamok
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Joey, I appreciate you post but I'm not sure I agree with
the implications of the fine print in this little section:

Hey Run, nice to hear from ya, and I just want to thank you for underscoring the need for the kind of forum for recent exes that Katie has kind of briefly described for us.

You see Run its fine for you to disagree, but what are you really doing here? You see when I say as you've quoted me

''...the issues in recovery [from the cult] ARE personal, revolving around how we cope with the triggers in our lives, and some of us have to deal with post traumatic stress syndrome...''

thats 100% correct and valid according to MY OWN EXPERIENCE, observations of cult awareness and recovery specialists, psychologists and so on and so forth, and much of this information is being documented in journals relating to this field of study( In fact I'll do my best to get you some articles) even if it hasn't appeared on the nightly news.

Pertaining to my own experience, I never related my episodes of near blackouts when I first left the cult and later started to post here...and I 'm really not sure why. Maybe I was a little shy or ashamed to admit this could happen to me...that the prospect of leaving the cult was so daunting, that the fear that I wouldn't be able to successfully make it or break free was so real, the effects of 25 years of hampster funk spinning in my head coupled with one massive headfuck of an ending, that is;my two years of that pervertd(emotionally and psychologically speaking) and sick relationship with the Amtext 'management team'...all of it compounded in my situation and the result was as I've just shared with you...episodes of near black outs, what you can definitely call symptons of somekind of post traumatic stress disorder. Now are you going to dismiss THAT?

I did however then relate this to others in private, and I remember Katie in particular encouraging me to talk about it on the forum. I didn't and in retrospect I believe it was because I felt the issue was a little too personal or private , however you want to put it, for me to talk about here.

So , perhaps a more private, sheltered environment, without the presence of any premie cyber psycho-goons, AND IN the presence of long term exes who wouldn't be so quick to DISSMISS MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, nor the information thats coming to the fore in the related literature, BUT in the presence of long term exes who WOULD BE OPEN TO THE EXPERIENCES of recent exes (especially those who have been in the cult long term, because its such a new phenomonon, the effects of long term cult involvement that is)...it may have been a little easier to open up in such circumstances.

There are dynamics at play on this forum that aren't really conducive in providing the kind of atmosphere where people will feel comfortable and relaxed enough to communicate on these very personal and private issues that are so very real in their lives as they recover a sense of themselves. This is a PUBLIC forum and I still think it has a huge role to play in the discussion and debate that we're having here re the cult. But for the personal and private issues of recovery which I spelled out in my post...I think the kind of 'limited access' forum that Katie is proposing is certainly worth a try and thats why I'm supporting her on this, morally speaking.

BTW, what you had to say about women and post traumatic syndrome were valid points but none of them negate what I am saying here. And when it comes to the issue of PTSD and long term cult members breaking free from the cult, it might serve us better to view it in more encompassing, holistic, human terms than in terms pertaining to mere gender-role and relational issues ONLY (although for sure, those can't be excluded in all too many cases)

I also thank you for your OT suggestions and pointers. Its quite obvious I had much to apologize for, and I tried to do it the best way I could. I've learned something in the process...at least I believe I have, and I know I have a lot more to learn.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 18:56:48 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Joey, I'm not and did not deny the importance and severity of whatever symptoms and syndromes you may have or be experiencing. But sharing the specifics of them would probably be more helpful to me than questioning what I am doing here 'what are you really doing here?').

I support whatever forms 'foruming' work for people, but it's an offtopic cyber-universe. There is enough terminology to go around so I'm not sure what the problem is. Whatever syndrome based on stress you may experiencing, I doubt it is PTSD. But I'm not an expert, and you had never shared that you had had 'near blackouts'. If you produce literature which documents PTSD in ex-cult members I will certainly look at it, but you are only now using the terminology after it had been brought up in relation to women's issues (which do represent the extreme of cultist violence).

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 20:44:04 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Runamok
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Joey, I'm not and did not deny the importance and severity of whatever symptoms and syndromes you may have or be experiencing. But sharing the specifics of them would probably be more helpful to me than questioning what I am doing here 'what are you really doing here?').

Yes you DID dismiss the symptons of PTSD that I WAS experiencing, and you're doing it again, even after I have shared the specifics with you. Listen to what you're saying here.

Whatever syndrome based on stress you may experiencing, I doubt it is PTSD. But I'm not an expert, and you had never shared that you had had 'near blackouts'.

Thats correct, but I've shared it with you now along with the reasons why I might not have talked so openly about in in the past. And yet you still say, 'I doubt that it was PTSD.'

Who are you to doubt what I'm telling you? If I say I experienced symptoms of PTSD that I didn't talk about on this forum for reasons that I touched on, that these symptoms consisted of several near blackouts, one of them which ended up with me in the hospital, and an ensuing process of being medically checked out from head to toe...and all the experts could conclude was that my symptons were those of PTSD(BTW, it exists in many shades , degrees and forms)...then you are dismissing my experience by saying,'...I doubt it is PTSD.' And as much as you may deny it, you're setting yourself up as an expert in this matter, which of course you're not.

So again I'll ask you, whaddya think you're doing man?

If you produce literature which documents PTSD in ex-cult members I will certainly look at it, but you are only now using the terminology after it had been brought up in relation to women's issues (which do represent the extreme of cultist violence).

Well thats very kind of you, but in reference to my use of the term PTSD in my post, I brought up in reference to MY OWN EXPERIENCE, and in reference to whats being documented by professionals...and I make that very clear in my post. You're flattering yourself, if you think I even had your post in mind when I made my statement.

But hey, don't let me stop ya.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 23:06:40 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
That's fine, Joey. I stand corrected if you have been diagnosed specifically that way. Again you might have communicated more by explaining what you just did originally rather than making me guess what I could not know.

Cynthia G. posts above her distate for the sarcasm of the forum and intimates her experiences of being abused as a child as part of her life situation.

Whether it's new or old exes, there are specific problems which make it difficult for some of us to function 'normally' in this kind of a setting. Finding your way hasn't been easy for you, and while you're cheering Katie's forum on in your inimitably, enthusiastic way, I hope you find it in you to sympathize with the issues I'm trying to emphazize even though they are not your own.

I have no prob with a newbie forum, but I'm not sure it's the only approach to those who are left in the cold. Support is one issue due to the sometimes overly agressive interactions on the forum. There are older exes who also have problems with this forum. A lot of people have referred to the probs they experience online here as related to agressive male dominance. Does that give more perspective to what I am saying for you?

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 00:09:54 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Runamok
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
That's fine, Joey. I stand corrected if you have been diagnosed specifically that way. Again you might have communicated more by explaining what you just did originally rather than making me guess what I could not know.

I wasn't playing any guessing games with you. If you reread our exchange, it went something like this.

-I made a statement in my first post in this thread simply stating that PTSD is becoming more and more common in long term members who are exiting from cults.

-you respond that this is very difficult for you to imagine because you haven't heard about it on the 'nightly news' or something like that.

-I respond that PTSD has actually been my own experience and something thats been increasingly observed in long term cult members, but you STILL express your doubts.

-Finally, only after I tell you that I had actually been diagnosed that way...you finally offer some acceptance for what I had to say(which again never negated the points that you were making in your posts).

Whether it's new or old exes, there are specific problems which make it difficult for some of us to function 'normally' in this kind of a setting

No kidding. How about being hounded in disbelief when you finally confide something personal on this forum as I just have, and to be challenged so needlessly re: my truthfullness every step of the way. In case you haven't realized it by now...thats insulting!

And you want to talk me to me about support?

My support for Katie's idea has to do with the PRINCIPLE of reaching out to recent exes who might otherwise not participate in this medium with us. It has nothing to do with excluding anyone, and I believe that in the final analysis, all exes will have a place to participate in this cyber community of ex premies.

You also said,
Finding your way hasn't been easy for you, and while you're cheering Katie's forum on in your inimitably, enthusiastic way, I hope you find it in you to sympathize with the issues I'm trying to emphazize even though they are not your own.

Well this is rather sermonistic of you, but when it comes to the issue of abuse and the cult...I can relate(in some small way at least) to all the issues, because I believe that I myself have been abused in the cult

A lot of people have referred to the probs they experience online here as related to agressive male dominance. Does that give more perspective to what I am saying for you?

You bet...and yours is beginning to bug me.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 14:20:42 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: Joey
Subject: A Note about PTSD
Message:
Hi Joey and Run -
Joey, thanks for your support on the recent-ex forum idea - I appreciate it. E-mail me some time if you get a chance.

As far as PTSD goes, I don't know much about it. What I DO know is that many survivors of alcoholic families are now being diagnosed with PTSD, even if there was no overt physical or sexual abuse in their family of origin. I think that sustained mental abuse over a period of time can be very damaging to many people - thus the PTSD definition. Thus I can see how it would apply to long-time cult members as well.

Take care, both of you,
Katie

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 15:05:24 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A Note about PTSD
Message:
Katie,
What I know about PTSD is that the majority if its victims are women, and since this will largely rule out combat veterans, it's pretty significant (i.e., these women already have a statistically significant rival in combat vets).

I guess in choosing to do a newbies forum, my concern isn't about splitting this one, but that others who are in need of more support than they are getting won't have that opportunity. It is good for the newbies, but I wonder if Cynthia's complaints weren't correctly placed in this post. People with extreme abuse issues in their past are normally functioning members of society who are more sensitive to some types of (mis)communication than other people are (i.e., flaming, etc.).

It seems like people have a lot to say, as always, about the forum itself. I know that when you and Brian ran F3, you discouraged criticism (probably because you were simply working too hard administering to want to deal with it). But it's obvious to me that there are a lot of support issues in the mix here and I don't think being slightly offtopic should be an issue.

The offtopic responses are an indicator of how much interest really exists in coninuing to develop online opportunities for interaction, even critical posts.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 11:04:08 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
OK Joe, I guess you might want to keep some of that information on the new forum for recent exes, rather than engaging me, an 'old' ex (altho I think you're actually a few olders than me).
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 22:57:59 (EDT)
From: Runamok
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
That's fine, Joey. I stand corrected if you have been diagnosed specifically that way. Again, you might have communicated more by explaining what you just did originally rather than making me guess what I could not know.

Cynthia G. posts above her distate for the sarcasm of the forum and intimates her experiences of being abused as a child as part of her life situation.

Whether it's new or old exes, there are specific problems which make it difficult for some of us to function 'normally' in this kind of a setting. Finding your way hasn't been easy for you, and while you're cheering Katie's forum on in your inimitably, enthusiastic way, I hope you find it in you to sympathize with the issues I'm trying to emphazize event though they are not your own.
I have no prob with a newbie forum. Numerous people have referred to the probs they experience online here as related to agressive male dominance. Does that give more perspective to what I am saying for you?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:16:15 (EDT)
From: gerry
Email: None
To: Joey
Subject: I hate to say this...
Message:
But I agree with Joey on this issue. Nicely said, also.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 14:36:09 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: gerry
Subject: And I hate to say it too, but...
Message:
...Thanks gerry!
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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:54:23 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: I also think it's a bad idea
Message:
I think there are a number of reasons why this is a bad idea. One is that there aren't so many exes interested in this mess worldwide that we can assume the conversation won't be seriously diluted by splitting the group a bit. Another is that it unnecessarily and, indeed, counter-productively, cuts off the more tender, tentative or confused posters from the very people who's perspective might assist them. Yet another is that it will likely confuse people and when so-and-so wants to refer to something that was said on the other 'secret' forum, for whatever purpose, but then has to deal with all sorts of confidentiality issues. Is it okay to refer to something X said? Is it okay to mention it on the secret forum but not the general one? Another problem is that it robs the viewing public, such as it is, from reading what fledgling exes think and say and when that 'viewing public' includes a bunch of premies who themselves might be only a few steps behind the new exes (whether they know it or not!) that's a real problem. How can premies ever benefit from watching this process if they can't see it? Still another problem is that it perhaps unnecessarily categorizes people. Let's face it, we've got all sorts of differences even in terms of the lengths and periods and terms of our cult involvement. But we all benefit from learning how it was for each other and, in the end, come to know each other as what we are, just people who all got sucked in by the same cult sometime over the last twenty-eight years. Why emphasize the differences if you don't really have to?

If people are really so ginger in expressing themselves here anonymity's always an option. If even that provides more exposure than they're comfortable with, they can always get into email conversations with any of a number of interested and available exes here. That should be enough, I think.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:50:23 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: reponse to your objections
Message:
Jim,

I'd like to repond to a few of your points and objections to Katie's idea of a new more protected forum for recent exes.

First of all you said:

... there aren't so many exes interested in this mess worldwide that we can assume the conversation won't be seriously diluted by splitting the group a bit.'

Well I don't know about that. The jerk has given 'knowledge ' to maybe 200,000 people in the west since he's started , and compared to that only an extremely small fraction have come to join us in our cyber community of ex premies. Why?

Well maybe some have found this neighborhood a liitle too hard to handle. Maybe they'd feel more confortable in a more protected environment.

Then you say,

Another is that it unnecessarily and, indeed, counter-productively, cuts off the more tender, tentative or confused posters from the very people who's perspective might assist them

Perhaps so, but then again I believe we have more than enough long term exes who could provide helpful and meaningful feedback to people recovering from years of the cult funk. Don't forget, there's also the possibility that Katie's idea, might help prepare some for eventual participation on THIS forum who otherwise might have been inclined NOT to join us here. In that sense it might seve to stregthen this forum as opposed to weakening it. I believe the two can exist hand in hand, synergistically.

Then there's this:

Yet another is that it will likely confuse people and when so-and-so wants to refer to something that was said on the other 'secret' forum, for whatever purpose, but then has to deal with all sorts of confidentiality issues. Is it okay to refer to something X said? Is it okay to mention it on the secret forum but not the general one? Another problem is that it robs the viewing public, such as it is, from reading what fledgling exes think and say and when that 'viewing public' includes a bunch of premies who themselves might be only a few steps behind the new exes (whether they know it or not!) that's a real problem. How can premies ever benefit from watching this process if they can't see it?

Jim, I don't want to deny the huge focus that this forum has for premies. But if they decide to leave, it has more to do with just that which they can see on this page. It has to do with what they're seeing in their own lives. Many premies are now experiencing mid life crisis and serious questions about where they've been and where they're going are coming to light. And in the light of those questions , under that kind of personal scrutiny, I think we know its very easy for the dream to shatter and for the 'preciousness' of their cult involvement to disintegrate right before their very eyes.

Professionals in cult awreness and recovery related organizations will tell you, I believe, that never before have they seen so many cases of 'long term' members leaving their cults, ours include. What they've been through and the effects of their long term involvement might be easier for them to share with others in the more protected environment being proposed by Katie. If it makes it more easy for us to reach out to these exes and for them to participate then I believe THAT should be our focus.

And then,

Still another problem is that it perhaps unnecessarily categorizes people. Let's face it, we've got all sorts of differences even in terms of the lengths and periods and terms of our cult involvement. But we all benefit from learning how it was for each other and, in the end, come to know each other as what we are, just people who all got sucked in by the same cult sometime over the last twenty-eight years. Why emphasize the differences if you don't really have to?

It doesn't really categories people, or emphasize differences, at least not as I see it. It does however possibly categories ISSUES, those that are more acceptable to discuss in a public forum such as this one, and those that could better be discussed in a personal, more private kind of forum as outlined by Katie.

Finally,

If people are really so ginger in expressing themselves here anonymity's always an option. If even that provides more exposure than they're comfortable with, they can always get into email conversations with any of a number of interested and available exes here. That should be enough, I think.

Well thanks Jim, but maybe some people don't really want to be anonymous because they feel so gingerly in expressing themselves HERE. Maybe they'd like to be themselves and share and talk about these very personal and indeed for for long term recent exes PRESSING issues in a more personal, private and protected forum...as THEMSELVES.

Rather than suggest that people could post here anonymously if the terrain bothers them , why not focus on CLEANING up the terrain.

As far as the games of Blackdog, deputy dog and all the other dogs and Robs and fucked up flies that come here...well I believe that Cynthia isn't the only one for whom it may be a little too much. I believe the presence of the premie cyber psycho goons has served to really destabilize this forum and ward off potential participants.
Rather than advise potential participants to post anonymously if they feel too intimidated, why don't our Forum administrator do something to eliminate the goons.

And we all know who they are.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 13:35:45 (EDT)
From: Old one
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
I think it's a bad idea keeping this new forum secret. After all, it is through reading some posts here that most people are helped.

You are in danger of turning the ex-premies into a select club. That is no good for anyone.

Better that this new forum was advertised and was only password protected for posting and not reading. That's what I think.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 16:18:45 (EDT)
From: Enough
Email: None
To: Old one
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
When I first read this, it seemed to make sense to me. But now I'm thinking, what would prevent someone from posting here or elsewhere what they read on Recent Ex's?
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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 18:12:08 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: Enough
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Hi Enough and Old One -
The reason the forum will be password protected is to avoid the very thing Enough mentions - people quoting posts on this forum or elsewhere. Also, some of the people who are posting there still have premie friends and relatives, and would like to have a place to talk which is less public than Forum IV.

As far as this being a 'private club', I guess it could be viewed as one. However, I and others have always encouraged people who felt shy about posting personal things on Forum IV to e-mail other people in similar situations. I feel that recent exes need a place to share their experiences with each other, without comment by premies or by other people who may have left a long time ago.

It's been proven that the ex-premie community can sustain two forums: Forum IV and Anything Goes both get a lot of traffic. I don't think the new forum will take away from either of these forums in any regard. I see this new forum as something of a souped-up group e-mail (and many of us who post here here DO have group e-mails where we discuss topics we're unwilling to make public with other congenial people we've met through the forum. We just don't advertise them publically!).

Hope this explains things a bit -
Take care,
Katie

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:05:26 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: david@xyzx.freeserve.co.uk
To: Katie
Subject: I still think it's a bad idea
Message:
Well I still think this publicised secrecy is a bad idea. (I am 'Old one' by the way). If you are going to have a secret society, you shouldn't publicise it, that's bad PR. By publicising an exclusive and elite secret society, you automatically publicise that most people are being excluded from this secret society and you alienate people straight away.

I know you won't agree with me but wait and see what happens. People do not like secret societies and are very suspicous of people who are in them. Neither do people like exclusive societies and it is human nature to deride such societies.

So those are my thoughts and I don't really care if anyone agrees or not. I am in retirement as an ex-premie anyway.

The most useful things I have read on ex-premie forums have been honest, open and heartfelt postings by ex-premies and inside info on Maharaji. By putting such posts exclusively onto a secret forum, an open forum such as this will go down the drain and lose its usefulness.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:35:06 (EDT)
From: selene
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: I still think it's a bad idea
Message:
In retirement as an ex. I love it. Me too.
Good for you Sir Dave. As Cynthia so nicely put it (sarcasm there? naw!!) 'Get a life' I have wanted to say that often but since the premies use it as a defense of M I have refrained. But after 2 years or so of getting out I find
I only read or post here out of boredom, or.. recently out of a need for info. Which I never got.
I'll see you in retirement over on AG.

had enough but bored today.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 12:46:57 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: None
To: selene
Subject: There's some good
Message:
and very politically incorrect stuff on The ANYTHING GOES forum.

We're talking rude stuff here. Have we gone too far? Your input is always appreciated on AG, Selene.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 13:10:25 (EDT)
From: selene
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: There's some good
Message:
Thanks Sir Dave. Naw you haven't gone too far. Somebodies gotta. But one thing about my input
I would have voted for Heidi.
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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:42:11 (EDT)
From: Roger eDrek
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: A secret society! Wow, that's for me!
Message:
Kewl! And as a recent ex-premie (almost two years, I think) I've been invited! At first I didn't think I'd give it a try, but now, Sir Dave, you have made it sound like my cup of tea. Hot damn!

P.S. to Sir Dave: If you have anything that I might need access to I might consider some kind of trade. ;)

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:24:32 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: None
To: Roger eDrek
Subject: Re: A secret society! Wow, that's for me!
Message:
Don't forget to roll up your trouser legs, show your left nipple and do learn the 'secret handshake' which is only known to members.

Me, I'm not interested in it.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 15:58:40 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Sir Dave+Roger
Subject: Re: A secret society! Wow, that's for me!
Message:
Yes, I can see it now...

THE evil and wicked Princess Leia and...her SECRET SOCIETY OF RENUNCIATE POSTERS!!!

Omigod!! Omigod!...what's happening...moms and dads watch out for your kiddies! Neighbours look out for each other...here they come!!

Common, I mean I love you guys, you're great for a laugh... but lets get real here.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 09:44:59 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: You miss the point, Dave
Message:
Me, I'm not interested in it.

You're not invited.

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 16:46:56 (EDT)
From: Joey
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: maybe, this is the point...
Message:
Jim,

I really don't believe this is about who's interested or who's invited.

Its about RECENT EXES, and again, as I've said before professionals in the field are telling us that in increasing numbers they're seeing long term members of cults leaving in greater numbers.

For many the very personal issues involved in their recovery process can be best dealt with, or these people can more easily receive the support and feedback they require in a more protected environment.

I think the litmus test for Katie's idea is; will it serve to reach out to recent exes who might have otherwise not joined us here in our cyber community in the kind of public forum that FORUM 4 is by its very nature... so they participate in a more personal and private forum and derive the benefits thereof.

If it serves to help exes who might have otherwise not participated here, I say its good. Conceptually, it certainly seems to have alot of potential not only in terms of reaching out to exes, but also indirectly to strengten our little cyber community of exes and NOT weaken it.

I believe it should be given a chance, Katie our best wishes and a little trust to boot...and lets see what happens.

So thats it...I'd like to support this idea, and not put it down.

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:31:18 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Re: I still think it's a bad idea
Message:
Hi Sir D.
I have quite a bit of respect for your opinion and will take it into account. It may be better to transform this forum into an e-mail list eventually - who knows?

I have been in an e-mail group with some of the women on the forum for over a year - we really don't talk about 'secret' stuff - just personal stuff that other people might be interested in, and that we don't want to put on a public forum. I hope people can view this other forum in the same way.

Take care,
Katie

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 20:16:40 (EDT)
From: Blackdog
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
I agree! Secrecy is a baaaad thing.

So everyone just go to www.paradise-web.com/plus/plus.mirage?who=recentex

Password = ********

Don't worry, won't post it here. Might on First Class though:)[joking]

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:24:52 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: mishkat@gateway.net
To: Blackdog
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Very cute, Blackdog. I assume you were able to figure out the URL from paradise. If you manage to hack the password, let me know.

BTW, why are you here anyway?

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 21:55:32 (EDT)
From: Blackdog
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Relax, I am not a hacker, and have no urge to crash your private party. Wasn't rocket science to figure out the mirag?who= extension when you told everyone what the site was for:) [3rd try]

I'm here coz I'm really Sir Dave!:)

No I'm just idly curious, trying to figure out what went wrong with your experiences of Knowledge. BTW, Dave's got me totally fascinated about Rob now, he seems obsessed with the guy (now Johnny Morris is him too!!) But I can't find anything he's written, can you clue me in. Whats the big deal?

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Date: Tues, Oct 19, 1999 at 01:26:09 (EDT)
From: Katie
Email: None
To: Blackdog
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Hey Blackdog -
Rob was a person who posted on this forum (when it was Forum III) claiming to be a 'PAM' (Person around Maharaji), and who said that Maharaji did NOT want premies reading or posting on this forum. Later, he posted on Anything Goes saying that he'd been lying about being a 'PAM', and saying that his experience with M had been shaken - so much that he'd become suicidal (he did get a lot of support after posting this). I kind of tuned out after that episode, and I don't know if the guy is still around. As far as his pretending to be a PAM, I somewhat believed him (less so because I was corresponding with someone who is also a sometimes PAM), but a lot of other people really believed him and felt lied to and cheated when he said that he'd been joking around.

Re my experience with knowledge: I am grateful to the premies I met at the time when I received K for being so accepting of and kind to me. I was really in a bad place: 16 years old and into drugs, sex, and weird spirituality. The structure inherent in the premie lifestyle in the community I lived in really helped me get my life in a better place. However, I practiced K - meditation, service, and satsang diligently for five years, and never really experienced anything. So I finally decided to leave. Didn't think about M for 20 years until a friend did a web search and told me about this site, and another premie site that used to be on line. I posted searching for some old friends and found out that a premie I'd been very close to had committed suicide. I was very upset about this, so started posting on the forum, made a lot of friends, had a lot of good conversation, and have been here ever since.

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Date: Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 19:31:35 (EDT)
From: Blackdog
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: Re: A New Forum for Recent Exes
Message:
Sounds like he was a pretty screwed up type all round. A PAM eh? That's a new one - mind you, I didn't know what a 'premie' was until I came here and discovered I was one! I thought I was just someone who had knowledge. Great, now I've got a label.

Sorry to hear you had a rough time as a 'premie' hope you are happy now. I think if I didn't experience anything when I practised, I'd probably given up by now (3 years) but it seems to work for me, so what can I say?

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Date: Mon, Oct 18, 1999 at 12:08:53 (EDT)
From: Susan
Email: None
To: Katie
Subject: to recent ex's
Message:
If you do feel up for it please post here too. I enjoy reading the posts from recent ex's as well as far distant ex's and things have a potential for becoming diluted. I agree that there is a need for a safe forum for you but I worry this is the last we will see of you and that sort of makes me sad. So don't forget get about us old folks!
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