Ex-Premie Forum 7 Archive
From: Aug 27, 2001 To: Sep 01, 2001 Page: 5 of: 5


janet -:- repost of peg's w commentary -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 02:35:54 (EDT)
__ Bin Liner -:- darshan dreams -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:28:37 (EDT)
__ Peg -:- Dreamsharing -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:23:56 (EDT)
__ __ Silvia -:- Funny -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 22:42:51 (EDT)
__ __ janet -:- Re: Dreamsharing -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 19:51:48 (EDT)
__ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Wet dreams - I'm green with envy ;) -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:39:26 (EDT)

Barry -:- Jim? (ot) -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:57:22 (EDT)
__ Deborah -:- Hi Barry :C)... OT -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 19:47:22 (EDT)

Abi -:- Bye -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:51:21 (EDT)
__ Selene -:- bye Abi -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 12:54:33 (EDT)
__ Cynthia -:- Abi -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 11:40:37 (EDT)
__ Bob -:- Re: Bye -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 05:53:11 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- I'll miss you but it's best -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:47:15 (EDT)
__ Mercedes -:- Re: Bye -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 02:23:16 (EDT)
__ __ Richard -:- Take care -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 11:04:54 (EDT)
__ btdt -:- Re: Bye -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:40:02 (EDT)
__ __ btdt -:- Re: Bye -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:42:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ btdt -:- Re: Bye -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:47:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ janet -:- Re: ABI about your eyes and your going -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:00:58 (EDT)

Jim -:- At least the Iranians got this one right (OT) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:25:39 (EDT)

Jim -:- To Ham (OT) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:15:39 (EDT)
__ hamzen -:- Re Global Warming -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:59:01 (EDT)
__ __ Pat:C) -:- The end is nigh - too depressing -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 17:30:22 (EDT)
__ ham -:- CD's, what are they? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:08:45 (EDT)

Jean-Michel -:- Worried about privacy on the Internet ? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:11:32 (EDT)
__ AJW -:- Merci Monsieur. -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:28:24 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- Thanks, J-M. Comment allez vous? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:28:36 (EDT)

Jim -:- If someone doesn't post something good ........... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:06:53 (EDT)
__ OK -:- Re: If someone doesn't -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:45:00 (EDT)
__ Barry -:- You got it! -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:01:33 (EDT)
__ janet -:- (evil grin) will I do???? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:58:39 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- mmmm, er, uh, thanks but moment's passed -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:04:35 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- Jim, More Internet Forum Wars -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:33:45 (EDT)
__ __ AJW -:- That's funny Pat. -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:34:46 (EDT)
__ __ __ Pat:C) -:- And I had to stick the banana -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:03:40 (EDT)
__ __ Brian Smith -:- Outrageously Funny Pat (nt) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:48:57 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- Hey, Irwin the anti-authoritarian -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:26:15 (EDT)
__ __ hamzen -:- Don't forget a chauvinistic non-pc -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:40:35 (EDT)
__ __ __ Pat:C) -:- He's doing yoga, ham -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:55:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ bill -:- Pat, about Boris/Mili -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:29:46 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ janet -:- Re:mili and microsoft? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:07:48 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ hamzen -:- Why's his site so crap then? (nt) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:53:31 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- What are you talking about? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:06:01 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Julian -:- U mean this -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:08:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ janet -:- Re:what a rant -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:24:32 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Yes, indeed, and check out this puppy! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:30:35 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Yes, indeed, and check out this puppy! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:30:35 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- That's it? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:45:28 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ janet -:- Re: That's it? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:28:03 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Acccccctuallyyyy ..... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:49:12 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Speaking of the devil, Jim -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:54:32 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Miss PWKb) formerly known as Pat:C) -:- You're fucking paranoid -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:42:50 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ bill -:- Hey Mili old buddy, -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:31:05 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Re: Hey Mili old buddy, -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:35:05 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Jim -:- Yes, I see your face everywhere -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:25:52 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- So why doncha rub my face in it? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:33:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Yes! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:43:12 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Just got back form an hour walk with dogs -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:46:10 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- trouble is -food glorious food and wine -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:53:29 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- Too late -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:35:20 (EDT)
__ Roger eDrek -:- I wanna post some really cool pictures of Jim -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:32:55 (EDT)
__ __ AJW -:- That's very funny Roger. -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:41:34 (EDT)
__ __ aposterate -:- cool pictures of Jim PUBIC? -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:49:55 (EDT)
__ __ Pat:C) -:- Re: I wanna post some really cool pictures of Jim -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:36:17 (EDT)
__ __ __ AJW -:- LOL again. (nt) -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:43:14 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- No! [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:34:41 (EDT)

Bob -:- Power website !! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:02:07 (EDT)
__ JohnT -:- Re: Power website !! -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 05:47:58 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- J'accuse is brilliant but -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:28:47 (EDT)
__ __ Deborah -:- Re: J'accuse is brilliant but -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:34:50 (EDT)
__ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Re: J'accuse is brilliant but -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:38:33 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Deborah -:- Re: J'accuse is brilliant but -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:58:09 (EDT)

Moley -:- Hey CAC people - I shag sheep in my spare time -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:43:23 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- Do you use a strap-on, Moley? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:30:37 (EDT)
__ Selene -:- hey missed you -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:27:08 (EDT)
__ __ Cynthia -:- Selene, It's Shearing... -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:04:11 (EDT)
__ __ __ Selene -:- heh yeah that's right -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:49:04 (EDT)

Nigel -:- Hey you fucking CAC cowardly bastardfaces… -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:29:13 (EDT)
__ AJW -:- I know how you feel Nigel. -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 07:08:50 (EDT)
__ janet -:- Re:larkin--a request -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:52:50 (EDT)
Roger eDrek -:- Yeah, I'll vouch for Nigel -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:34:44 (EDT)
__ hamzen -:- Looking for a top 20 spot are we? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:00:54 (EDT)
__ __ AJW -:- Your mum looks good for her age Ham. (nt) -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 07:26:11 (EDT)
__ __ Selene -:- back where I belong -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:25:28 (EDT)
__ __ __ hamzen -:- I'll e-mail ya -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:33:24 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- Great post-mortem shot, Mike -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:17:30 (EDT)
__ Joe -:- If you were gay, you'd be there already.... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:48:58 (EDT)
__ JHB -:- There's not many of us left -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:41:14 (EDT)

OTS -:- OTS responds (and how) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 17:09:49 (EDT)
__ RichMandrake -:- Amazing Post OTS... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:55:00 (EDT)
__ a0aji -:- :: hang in there, Otis :: [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:23:26 (EDT)
__ btdt -:- Re: OTS responds (and how) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:55:46 (EDT)
__ btdt -:- Re: OTS responds (and how) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:55:44 (EDT)
__ Richard -:- Thank you OTS -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:59:10 (EDT)
__ Jim -:- Re: OTS responds (and how) -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:29:54 (EDT)
__ JHB -:- OTS's 20th July Post -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:17:45 (EDT)
__ __ Pat:C) -:- Re: OTS's 20th July Post -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:51:58 (EDT)
__ __ __ Brian Smith -:- Captain Fantistic's stream of conciousness -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:26:18 (EDT)
__ __ Marianne -:- OTS and Kalamazoo -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:49:06 (EDT)
__ __ Deborah -:- You're kidding - is this the same person -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:43:43 (EDT)
__ __ Jim -:- Best NON-exit speech yet too! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:27:04 (EDT)
__ Brian Smith -:- Best exit speech yet! -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:12:03 (EDT)
__ __ Richard -:- Brian, post was from OTS -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:17:03 (EDT)
__ __ __ Brian Smith -:- Oh Well, -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:21:52 (EDT)
__ Joe -:- Wonderful post -- lots of courage -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:46:23 (EDT)
__ __ la-ex -:- That's right, Joe,stillin 2001 -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:35:42 (EDT)
__ Rick -:- That was great... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:37:06 (EDT)
__ Pat:C) -:- thanks Richard and OTS -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 17:42:40 (EDT)
__ __ Joy -:- Hilarious, Pat -:- Wed, Aug 29, 2001 at 03:14:32 (EDT)
__ __ __ Pat:C) -:- Oh Joy oh bliss! -:- Wed, Aug 29, 2001 at 14:02:13 (EDT)

Sir Dave -:- Thanks Gerry -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:28:30 (EDT)
__ pEG -:- Hello sir dave are you back? [nt] -:- Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:41:47 (EDT)

gerry -:- And the Winner Is... -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:44:59 (EDT)
__ a0aji -:- :: that's cute :: [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:25:55 (EDT)
Unnamed CAC Victim -:- is that a ball peen hammer? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:55:53 (EDT)
__ gerry -:- Why, yes it is, actually -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:10:55 (EDT)
__ __ Thelma afraid to use real name -:- Get ready for premie exodus -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:14:47 (EDT)
__ __ __ JHB -:- Can I do the Latvian exes? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:20:48 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Pat:C) -:- trust you to pick the easy one;) [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:22:23 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Jim -:- What do you mean by 'do'? [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:31:34 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ JHB -:- Re: What do you mean by 'do'? -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:14:10 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Jim -:- Vai ne, yourself [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:15:53 (EDT)
__ __ __ Deborah -:- Hey Thelma -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:32:21 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Thelma afraid to use real nameb) -:- Hey, Deb -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:37:54 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ Deborah -:- Re: Hey, Deb -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:01:39 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ Miss PWKb) formerly known as Pat:) -:- I can't comment, Deb ;) [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:15:01 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ Deborah -:- That's coolb) [nt] -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:23:18 (EDT)
__ __ __ Roger AK eDrek -:- Re: Get ready for premie exodus -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:29:27 (EDT)
__ __ __ __ Thelma the Church Lady -:- I'm going back to the cult too, Rog -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:13:34 (EDT)

Sir David -:- My final email to CAC -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:41:30 (EDT)
__ hamzen -:- Big up to ya Sir D -:- Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:34:26 (EDT)


Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 02:35:54 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: jai_choix@yahoo.com
To: All
Subject: repost of peg's w commentary
Message:
peg wrote down lower

'My husband has just stopped his contribution after I showed him this site.
Another friend I told said that a day or two later she met a couple who were also 'raging ' about being led up the garden path.
Information really is so powerful.
What can they do next then? I don't think there is anything that will work.
Ohmygod I am just remembering tha feeling back in '72 of being in at the beginning of something
Is that what i'm looking for again? What's going on anyway?
Help my brain is scrambling. Big questions what is true? do I exist?
sorry folks time for a nice cup of tea'

peg, you momentary panic or confusion prods me to relate something thats been happenning to me lately--and i exed in october of last year.

i notice that i went thru a period of confusion about my feelings, where the only thing i knew for sure was that i was mad at the years of being treatd like shit, but couldnt make out what so keep and what to chuck, from it al.
so to be safe, for a while i deliberately rejected all of it on principle, sort of like a decontamination chamber.

after an interval, it became safe for me to go back and look again, and i was able to begin picking out single things i liked about that lifestyle and decided i wanted back, but not for their association with maharaji, to me.
i realized i wanted them for their own virtues, which would be real whether there was a majaraji or not.

more recently, within the last several weeks, I am having a most interesting phenomenon occur:

I am having darshan dreams.
maharaji is in every one of them, but in each one, I am my present adult self and i feel zero of the former adulation or worship or that craven yearning and belief that somehow getting next to him will render me some life-fixing experience.
the results are anywhere from comical to ludicrous.

in the first one, i found myself waiting in a small local airport on the field for someone to taxi their private small plane out. we were going to fly somewhere in it for a flyover. while waiting, MJ taxid in to the field in his gulfstream and got out in uniform.
to me he looked like a baby. i remember him hanging out by the wing of his plane and looking around, hoping someone would notice him and his shiny suit and be impressed. no one looked. finally I strolled over and gazed down on his indian black hair, so far down under my eyes,(he's so short...)
and at last i reached one hand up and mussed his hair without sentiment, like he was a baby showing off his newest toy and the token gesture would gratify his infantile ego and get him to move on and go away. he was still standing there waiting to be noticed when i boarded my friend's plane and we took off.everyone else there at the hangar and field glanced at him like he was some doll in their way, while they bustled to and from, getting tools,air hoses, flight plans, fuel,reports and other flight related business.
he was irrelevant and pointless to them.

in another dream, he gave a small conference in a center where i was attending a different event in the bigger auditorium. my event was finished and i was wandering the seats, reflecting on the day and looking at the detritus audience had left behind in the stands. i was up in the top rows where the doors led out to the same level his conference was on, and i heard the custodians leading im down the hall in my direction. feeling vindictive and ballsy, I hid behind the door so that when the caretaker opened the door for him to come in and look down upon the vacated hall, I squarely stepped into his path and scared him with my unexpected and loud, in his face, 'HI, Maharaji--?' and gave him an impish, mean smile, letting him know i know he's no god--he's as human and chickenshit as the rest of us, and my jumping out at him proved it. he spooked as clearly as anyone startled from behind a door would. the mask fell. he jolted all the way thru, then remembered himself and glared daggers at me. i beamed sweetly at the custodian and said'we know each other from way back. i just wanted to surprise him' and then i crinkled my nose at maharaji, again, and thru big shiny teeth, asked 'and i DID, DIDN'T I?'
with that i made as if to head out the exits onto the concourse, but i turned and watched, and I couldnt resist waiting till he was about to step down the first of a long and steep flight of stairs, leading from the top tier to the arena floor, and gleefully and jarringly blurted out '....BE CAREFUL!!...the stairs are slippery!!', just as he steped off. he nearly lost his footing and fell down the whole way. the custodian grabbed him by the flailing arm and they both clung for dear life to and armrest on the aisle, despearate to steady him.
i winked at him and scampered out in the hall, calling back 'SEE?...you be careful, now!' and then sailed thru the empty concourses, at an open jog, free and exhilarated and feeling wickedly happy to just be there as me, and not representing some idiotic organization.
i rounded a corner and saw the premies coming out of the conference, and abruptly stopped and hid in a service passage, watching, and waited till they dispersed, so i could waLK out alone.
I fantasized having a bucket of marbles i could pour out on the floor, to make them all take pratfalls, in their pompous corporate posing, as they preened and strutted by.
last nights dream was stranger still: I was taken inside some freaky party in some house all decorated like a house of horrors. it felt tlke a college dorm at halloween. inside milling in the crowd in all the smoke and disco lights and strobes and crashing music, i was lefrom room to room by someone who seemed to be a premie, bent on trying to prove to me that I was still in the fold, and that watever i was now still made me a premie in the 'new' ev.
i bumped into david smaith in the crowds, and he looked scared as hell. ispotted other faces from ev hell--the usual names in suits, all self important--dave mankoff, rives mcdow, the church ladies,doctor ed, and so on--intermixed unhappily with a gang of unkempt college kids and frat/sorority types getting rowdy and drunk and stupid and dancing like assholes in every room. this person dragging me aroaund wouldnt shut up, trying to convince me that i was still a premie because i knew 'that place inside', and frankly, no matter what i saw happening, i was incurious and hardly involved. what they said found its way briefly to my core, and i gazed at the thought for maybe 5 seconds and shrugged, and decided that if it were so, regardless, I wasn't interested in this. not the party, not elan vital, not in being counted as a member, not in them yanking on my arm, trying to get me to participate in the scene.
i finally lost them in one of the rooms and made my way out of the general uproar and got outdoors again, where I simply
filled my nose with cold, clear night air, glanced around the area, and then purposefully walked away, down the path into the dark solitude of night.

darshan dreams. new ones. not like the old ones.

anyone else having new ones like these?

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:28:37 (EDT)
From: Bin Liner
Email: None
To: janet
Subject: darshan dreams
Message:
When I was in my residual premie phase (84-00) I dreamt about the little fat bastard maybe 2 or 3 times a year.

These dreams were always uncomfortable in some way, & unbidden in that I rarely thought about him during those years, although I did do the meditation on & off & went to see him when I could.

In the year since I've discovered that he's a crock of shit(courtesy of EPO)& have spent loads of time reading & posting on the internet, I haven't dreamt about him once.

Does that mean I'm cured ?

All the best : Pat Dorrity

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:23:56 (EDT)
From: Peg
Email: None
To: janet
Subject: Dreamsharing
Message:
Hello there Janet
you were one of the first people to speak to me here.

Its amazing the mind?brain?psyche isn't it? How we can project so much onto someone .He was always such a wonderful figure in my dreams before.I suppose the thing is that I will never know him or anyone else really and I hope that lesson is really going to sink in good.

I made a little poster 'to thine own self be true' to put in the place where his picture used to be.(printer broken... blank space.. that'll do)
Anyway..I had a dream last week where I was doing something with M. Can't remember what.The clear memory of the dream was what he was like. Still small but thinner..a bit inept and one of those people with a sort of thick creepy vibe as if they are thinking all manner of secret lustful thoughts and pretending they are not.
Needs no interpretation that I think.

And when I woke I didn't even feel bad
Very different from the old days.

Another wierd phenomena;-
Yesterday evening I was feeling euphoric again.(Manic depressive... who knows?) I noticed I was singing:
Twameva mata chapita twameva..etc.

Havent thought of that song for years. I think its my brain untangling itself. Next thing I'll get a craving to dress in sheets.

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 22:42:51 (EDT)
From: Silvia
Email: None
To: Peg
Subject: Funny
Message:
Hi Peg,

In one of my last dreams with m I was in an airport waiting with other premies for 'him' to arrive and there he comes, all dress up with a shinny red suit and in the dream I thought, he looks like a clown. Well, there you have the subconsacient mind at work I guess...A CLOWN, A PERFORMER...

Who knows all the garbage we have in our subconscient mind still needed to be dealt with? My mind used to sing arti often after living the cult, not anymore. I also developed a phobia about m's photos and now I can look at them without a problem. Funny it was appealing...that face....aughhhh

Insence is still associated at times in my head with him and since I like them so much I have to continue remembering I used them BEFORE meeting our lord. So, mind, no guru presence there...LOL

Welcome aboard!

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 19:51:48 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: Peg
Subject: Re: Dreamsharing
Message:
yup. you're right on schedule. it's programming, but its not the real you. see how you can tell about it from an outside vantage point? i don't think it's anymore important than realizing you have some song playing in your head that the radio is playing to death in high rotation this week. or a tv jingle you have to sit thru while watching your regular tv shows. it comes, it goes.

i still have my meditation shawls from 22 years ago. i bought them at the miami krishna temple store when my son was an infant in 1979. They were just like the ones i saw the mahatmas wear in chilly weather and i used them as slings to carry my son, as well as to wrap myself in when i meditated. over the years they got holes eaten in them by my pet mice, faded and got redyed, got used for curtains, bedspreads, afghans, a nest for pets and on and on. my cats love them. they knead and settle on them in order to go to sleep. they burrow under the blankets looking for them if they arent out on the top of the covers. every so often i consider chucking them, but theres history in them, and i've decided they stay. the other creatures who love them know nothing about MJ or my years with that. they just like them as familiar furnishings they would feel lost without. invariabl they make straight for them when i bring them home from the vet--so the drastic move of tossing the shawls out would hurt innocent lives and do more harm than good.
at least now, when i do something we used to do as premies, I see myself doing it, and i can call it what it is. i can honor my own tendency to live by habits, and i can separate the harmless ones that make no serious difference from the whacked ones that used to be welded to ridiculous beliefs , that set me apart from the rest of normal society and my own thinking processes.

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:39:26 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: janet
Subject: Wet dreams - I'm green with envy ;)
Message:
Haven't had a wet oops darshan dream in 20 years and then I only had two in the prior ten years of heavy darshan-addiction. I guess it's because I'm not into taking dreams seriously and regard them as hard-drive disc error defragmentations although I have some doozies mostly of the Alice in Wonderland variety.
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:57:22 (EDT)
From: Barry
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Jim? (ot)
Message:
sorry to bust in on the forum with personal crap and all, but did ya get the E-mail?- That I can't make it cause of the dog etc..could ya mail me back please, thanks.

Bar

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 19:47:22 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Barry
Subject: Hi Barry :C)... OT
Message:
Too bad that to hear you can't make it. Let me know ahead of time when you are coming to Victoria, and I'll it make a point to meet you. Would also like to hear you play music with Jim.

Bye for now.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:51:21 (EDT)
From: Abi
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Bye
Message:
Just a quick note to say that I have decided that for me all of this whole process about Jagdeo has been a bit too much so I've decided to stop posting. Apart from anything it is affecting my health. I lost some sight a while ago and there is a high chance that I and perhaps my son have an inherited disease called retinitus pigmentosa which leads to blindness. The stress of this Jagdeo issue has made my eyes worse so I have to go back to hospital.

I just want to get healthy and enjoy time with my son. That means trying to move on from the abuse somehow.

I hope Elan Vital find Jagdeo and bring him to justice and that the other victims find some peace in their lives.

Thanks for your support.

Abi

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 12:54:33 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: bye Abi
Message:
Drop by and see what's up once in a while.
And thanks for the support you have given me.
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 11:40:37 (EDT)
From: Cynthia
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: Abi
Message:
Dear Abi,

You have made a good decision, and you are not alone.

Sometimes the process of trying to confront an abuser is more harmful than helpful. You have given this a valiant effort and what you have received is more grief.

I, too, came to the conclusion that my personal physical, mental, and emotional health are much more important than confronting my abuser. This is such an individual decision on every survivor's part. When I realized that I could work everything out inspite of the fact that my abuser was still alive and living in this world, my life became much better.

So from victim to survivor to a thriver is the best decision. I never wanted to suggest this to you because it is so individual a choice. You can never put this behind you, but as time goes on, the wounds will start to heal over into a rubbery pliant scar, the reminder of where you've been, how you dealt with the wounds.

Posting here, the EV backlash, the hurtful and hate-filled abuse you've taken just on this forum have opened and re-opened your wounds. I know you will thrive, you are just that kind of woman.

I am so proud of you for everything you've done to make us aware of what really happened inside that insidious cult.

I will think about you a lot, and will keep in touch through email if that's okay.

I also hope that your disease with your eyes can be treated. Abi, you do see so much, despite your sight problem. You see so much more than many people.

Much love to you and you son,
Cynthia

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 05:53:11 (EDT)
From: Bob
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: Re: Bye
Message:
The very best for you!!(and your son). Medicine is just now making big progress with this ailment, so keep up, and you will see a cure!
And maybe there is a lawyer who could link the stress from the hell you went trough to this exacerbation(at a young age) of this ailment, so you dont have to worry about paying for it. When all is well, let us know!
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:47:15 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: I'll miss you but it's best
Message:
No one needs to have their personal life under a microscope the way you have, being insulted by cultweasels. Good for you and I will keep you in my thoughts for good health and lots of happiness.
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 02:23:16 (EDT)
From: Mercedes
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: Re: Bye
Message:
Dearest Abi,
Please take care of yourself. Hope you get to put this behind you and fully enjoy your life with your loved ones.
I too hope Jagdeo is brought to justice.
Much love,
Mercedes
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 11:04:54 (EDT)
From: Richard
Email: None
To: Mercedes
Subject: Take care
Message:
Abi,

Here's wishing you all the very best in your life.

Richard

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:40:02 (EDT)
From: btdt
Email: None
To: Abi
Subject: Re: Bye
Message:
Abi,
I am so sorry to hear of your health. You have been such an invaluable help to so many. Please try this place, I know it's far but people travel from all over the world to go there. At least send them an e-mail. Vaccine residues are linking to eye problems. It has done some amazing things.

Best to you and your son. He's a very lucky little boy to have you for his mom. If the two of you ever need ANYTHING, please just whistle. People all over the world care about your welfare.
[ Page Link ]

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:42:18 (EDT)
From: btdt
Email: None
To: btdt
Subject: Re: Bye
Message:
Trying to put in the link
[ Page Link ]
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:47:17 (EDT)
From: btdt
Email: None
To: btdt
Subject: Re: Bye
Message:
I'm hopeless at the computer......www.centurywellness.com
[ centruy wellness clinic ]
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:00:58 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: btdt
Subject: Re: ABI about your eyes and your going
Message:
abi we will think of you as not being gone, but more like present, but busy in another room of a house, not far and not hard to reach if we want you.

not to be crass, but if you are slowly going blind, then gt ahead of it by practicing out and out blindness now, long before it's complete. i used to do it for the challenge and change in perception. go whole days blinded on purpose and take the world that way. that makes it a choice and not a tragedy that befell you. go out and meet your challenger boldly in the open, before they get to you and corner you in their grip..

true story: my sister married a man whose fqather was going blind from diabetes, after his having served in the state legislature for decades. he enrolled in blindness school and practiced navigating the familiar streets of his hometown, alone, every efternoon, enjoying it greatly, despite the loss of his sight. after a while he became aware of a car engine, that seemed to be nearby, every time he crossed an intersection. he started testing it, trying to give it the slip. finally at one light, he walked straight toward the sound and found the car and directly confronted the driver, demanding incredulously 'why are you following me!? I've heard you for blocks, now, tailing me! what the hell are you doing this for?'

the answer came back in a timid, sheepish, quakey voice--the eldest statesman in the legislature, a longtime acquaintence of his, admitting that he had been worried about the safety of his old friend, and had been shadowing him around town in his car, keeping an eye on him and looking out for him, in case anything happenned to him on his practice walks!
he told the story at dinner with great regaling amusement, thought it terribly funny that the old fellow should do that, touching as it was.

he finally yelled at the old boy to go on home and quit doing it to him, that he was fine and knew his way around!. he was afraid the old guy might get in an accident, rolling so slowly along the streets, watching out for him-- and them they would both be worrying for each other and couldnt think straight and keep their minds on their business at hand.!

it became a joke around the statehouse within the week.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:25:39 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: All
Subject: At least the Iranians got this one right (OT)
Message:
Mashhad-Trial- /POL/
Court hearing session held for Ansar-e Hizbollah head

Mashhad, Khorasan prov. Aug 27, IRNA -- Head of the right-wing Ansar-e Hizbollah group arrested for attacks on spectators at a comedy show in Iran's holy city of Mashhad went on trial, it was reported Monday.
Hamid Ostad, head of the hard line group in Mashhad, is accused of disturbing the 'Mr. Bean' show scheduled to be performed by the Iranain comedian Hamid-Reza Mahisefat, and for causing 'damage.'
Ostad was released on a 70 million rials bail earlier this month .
Expressing regret over the incident, Judge Shams Gilani said some
have said that the holding of the court hearing for Ostad would debase
the name of Hizbollah but, he said, in fact this would not produce
such result.
Commenting on the issue, the judge said before the attack some
religious people had protested the comedy which was due to be
performed saying that parts of the comedy was trivial and indecent. He
pointed out that these people called for dealing with the performance
of such comedy which they said was nasty.
He said Mr Mahisefat had promised that the comedy would be
performed in a decent manner. He went on to say some of the clerics in
Mashhad had seen the comedy and said it was free of nasty scenes.
Police said about 50 persons of the Ansar-e Hizbollah group were
present at the scene.
The judge condemned Ostad for his provocative remarks before the
incident, disturbing the public order, disobeying the police and
instigating those present at the ahow and making attempts to create
tensions.
The judge further called on the defendant to present his defense.
Ostad denied the allegations against him and termed the charges as
'sheer lies'.
Late last month, Ostad and some 50 militiamen blocked Mahisefat's
show in Mashhad, northeast Iran, beating spectators and even police
who intervened, press reports at the time said.
HB/JB/KS
End
::irna 22:06

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:15:39 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: All
Subject: To Ham (OT)
Message:
Please, don't ever show me that death mask again. We're all gonna get there, I just don't want to think about it.

Okay, where were we? Global warming. Your link didn't work so I sent the email to Laurie's but she wouldn't check it out when I told her it would make her sad. But hit me again, somehow, and I'll dive in. Unfortunately, I'm interested.

Music -- you know what really bugs me? Moby bugs me. That album of his where the black, gospelly-like guys start off, cool tune. Let me get this right -- their music, their initial production, their voices. But who gets the credit? Moby.

Now, I understand that he probably made them rich enough just paying for the -- well, I can't call them samples, they're the whole damn song -- but still.

But nix that argument. I've got all sorts of that shit, by the way. None too obscure, I know. K&D, Aphex Twin, stuff like that. I really liked that live 'reverse engineered' techno band you showed us a week or so ago. It'd be fun to play that kind of stuff. Like I said, our old drummer moved over to Vancouver and is playing in a band called Big Bottom, drums, bass, MC and DJ. 's'all good.

If you could turn me on to three CD's I probably don't know, what might they be?

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:59:01 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re Global Warming
Message:
This from my first trawl through that lot

The first two are general press articles

Then general reports in the mass science press

Followed by a couple of greener group reports

And winding up with a sceptical site

But as my mate, who is a mainstream environmental modeller for a water company in the uk said, general consensus and agreement across the board in the scientific community, only disputes are the degree of rates of change, and the range in the disputes is narrowing and the degree of change is constantly being revised toward more negative scenarios, partially because energy consumption rates are increasing beyond expectations, and partially because they have always been working on conservative scenarios.

http://www.epa.gov/globalwarming/faq/fundamentals.html

http://www.epa.gov/globalwarming/faq/moredetail.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4234229,00.html

http://www.dailystarnews.com/200108/24/n1082409.htm#BODY6

http://www.epa.gov/globalwarming/faq/addquestions.html

http://www.newscientist.com/hottopics/climate/climate.jsp?id=ns9999443

http://www.newscientist.com/n

http://www.meto.govt.uk/corporate/pressoffice/pr20010706a.html

http://www.greenpeace.org/~climate/

http://www.wwf-uk.org/campaigns/camp-lpF.htmews/news.jsp

http://www.co2science.org/?id=ns9999345

http://www.newscientist.com/hottopics/climate/climatescenario.jsp

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 17:30:22 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: The end is nigh - too depressing
Message:
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. I'll worry about that stuff when it happens since it is irreversible as you say. Meantime eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die...or as Dorothy Parker said: ''...but alas, you never do eventhough your hangover's so bad you wish you would.''
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:08:45 (EDT)
From: ham
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: CD's, what are they?
Message:
Haven't you got enough with one cd, and you want three. Your a sucker for punishment, I'll grant ya that!

God you've got me there, everything is 12''s over here,
let me get back to ya on that one. I'll check around.
Think that live impro drum&bass band, jojomayer, have got some stuff out, whether it's on cd or not I wouldn't have a clue,
dj zinc is doing some interesting shit at the mo outa dj hypes stable, true playaz, that gti link on me site is interesting, rude boy detroit ghetto tech, loads of ass bootilicious stuff and really rude,,
and for those smoochie nights in with laurie, we're talking candlelit here, some of the garage stuff by mjcole, wookie.
Don't post me site address at the mo yeah, premie spammers at me forum would do me in, tooo boring
the ram compilations are on cd, links to their site on mine again, full on no compromise head fuck d&b

you really ought to check out john peel on the bbc radio1 site, he's into that thrashy metal you are, but he also does d&b and Anything a bit warped

slower end have you heard anything by gorillaz, it's damien albarn out f blurs group, but really it's cool

re moby, got a lot of sympathy, love his stuff, but he's got this vegan street cred thing in the media and he was the NO1 biggest seller worldwide last year, amazin what you can get away with eh.

Love to hear a tape of that band Big Bottom, have they got stuff out?
You wanna hear the nutter mc at the romford underground , chatting to his girlfriend the other night and he's like it all day, all night, fuckin hell

me mate joe's been buying some fucked up garage, sending us a mix tape soon, I'll do ya a copy, bout time I sent you a tape.

from daves e-mail
'Links to various web sites copied from various other stuff. Note - the comments
are not mine, and I have not visited them all, so you'll need to check them out
yourself for quality control, etc.

Dave

Climate links - http://www.cru.uea.ac.uk/cru/links/

European stuff (this is the future mate, get learning french) -
http://europa.eu.int/comm/environment/climat/home_en.htm

random north europe stuff -
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/environment/ccna-00.asp

top grade highlands env climate impact site -
http://www.think-net.org/drvoice1.htm

world climate change comnference (the hague) a disaster you'll recall, due
to reconvene early summer -
http://www.minvrom.nl/minvrom/pagina.html?id=1&goto=1518

Section 4.9.2 gives brief insurance stuff.
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/cru/kd01/ccsi-01.htm - scottish implications scoping
study and http://www.scotland.gov.uk/cru/resfinds/erf11-00.asp

The UNEP Climate Change Kit! (Gid for health etc) - ht
tp://www.unfccc.de/resource/iuckit/index.html

UK climate change indicators - http://www.nbu.ac.uk/iccuk/ (especially insurance
& energy section)

Frightening amount of stuff - http://www.ipcc.ch/ - (intergovernmental panel on
cc)

Hague conference - http://www.climatechange2000.org

See article on Desertification under Study Areas/Food and Drink. Further
information can be found at http://www.unccd.int/main.php.

http://www.unfccc.int/resource/iuckit/fact14.html - this webpage has a variety
of Information Sheets under the RESOURCES heading which are brief and concise.
There also appears to be a library service available for accessing books on
climate change.

Some interesting information in this US based site -
http://www.theenergyguy.com/Links_ClimateChange.html

Big up to ya for following this up, although it is getting mentioned now ,everyone's still behaving like premie ostriches, I find it very odd,
found out at a family do that my uncles into it all as well, he's written this heavy doomsday article on future projections for the next century, water wars etc, going up on me site soon, he's doing a finasl draft at the mo , could be lively

death mask, yeah, I was TOTALLY fucked At the end of that night, but it's one way of staying fit!

eeesy mate, yeah

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:11:32 (EDT)
From: Jean-Michel
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Worried about privacy on the Internet ?
Message:
Go check IDcide website

http://www.idcide.com/

and download their free software (IDcide privacy companion).

http://www.idcide.com/pages/per_down.htm

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:28:24 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: Jean-Michel
Subject: Merci Monsieur.
Message:
Go check IDcide website

http://www.idcide.com/

and download their free software (IDcide privacy companion).

http://www.idcide.com/pages/per_down.htm


---

Okay, I've downloaded it. Now what?

Anth, too lazy to read the instructions.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:28:36 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jean-Michel
Subject: Thanks, J-M. Comment allez vous?
Message:
Hope you are fit and happy.

We also have a firewall and Zone Alarm which tells you when someone is trying to get into your computer. For the last few days some Warsaw outfit has been trying.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:06:53 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: All
Subject: If someone doesn't post something good ...........
Message:
I'm going to get out of my sick bed and try to ride my exercise bike again.

Come on, guys, I really don't want to do that! Won't someone start a fight with me or something instead? Please??

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:45:00 (EDT)
From: OK
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: If someone doesn't
Message:
How do you determine how important you are on the shame list seeing that the name are not numbered. I would rather they had some sort of weight to each offender, something like 1 to 10. But then we all could be in the 10th position. Oh I see. Talk aboyt something else.

an ex

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 01:01:33 (EDT)
From: Barry
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: You got it!
Message:
Your always wanken when I post personals on the forum to you. You always say to e mail instead, but when I do you never fricken answer!
Is it that now that I live here, well I ain't that good of a bud anymore? Whats up wit you man? There's a scrap for ya!
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:58:39 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: (evil grin) will I do????
Message:
sorry to hear youre down ill. what do you feel like ranting about? i'll do my best to rise to the occasion. what sort of stance do you want me to take? goofy or haughty or annoyingly calm...or what?
dont strip your throat hollering. let your fingers do the talking.
im here if it'll help.

ps--dont ride till you're well. you need your energy to fight the invader. you'll know it when youre well enough to get up on that thing again.

so--what's your pleasure?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:04:35 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: janet
Subject: mmmm, er, uh, thanks but moment's passed
Message:
I'll let you know next time.

Query: Who sang 'The Invaders from Mars'?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:33:45 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Jim, More Internet Forum Wars
Message:
Just back from my shower and my damn enjoying life tee shirt has shrunk even more - cheap Indian cotton - no I am not getting fatter (well, that's the affirmation I say every day.) So I had to wear my black one with Expremie Hate Club embroidered on it. Okay I'm lying - it's my little pink number with Fire Island on it. Jesus, I must stop revealing personal info. Now everyone knows I live in teeshirts.

Oh yes, forum wars. Here's a little story to tickle you. This morning Andy was telling us at breakfast about the war on his orchid forum. Apparently the most knowledgable grower to whom everyone is indebted for his wonderful orchids from Puerto Rico and his huge knowledge of cults, sorry orchids, is also the most blunt spoken and impatient with stupid people. The founders, being diplomatic, have banned him and all the interesting posters have left in protest and Andy is bored stiff with the bithering namby-pambies who remain pussy-footing around each other.

What's next? Do the polyploidyists start a website accusing the non-hybridists of cyberstalking?

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:34:46 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: That's funny Pat.
Message:
Pat, that made me laugh out loud.

Is a polyploidist someone whe has sex with lots of flowers?

Anth the spirogyra.

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:03:40 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: AJW
Subject: And I had to stick the banana
Message:
back up my ass to stop myself from shitting my pants laughing at your baboon story.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:48:57 (EDT)
From: Brian Smith
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Outrageously Funny Pat (nt)
Message:
e
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:26:15 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Hey, Irwin the anti-authoritarian
Message:
I'll pick a fight with you. You are an atheistic, New Age bashing lawyer who plays garage rock for christs sake. Jesus, you've got no taste in music and you're a fucking canuck too.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:40:35 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Don't forget a chauvinistic non-pc
Message:
because you don't give a flying fuck about anyone but your one person crusade ego battle with the guru,
and that leaves out being a total know all, too old for house music who's retreated to dirty metal music, the last resting place for cynics with no taste,
a hippy with values who's sold out to the system big time by joining the wigs for a FAT fee

and I bet your taste in clothes sucks,

how we doing?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:55:18 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: He's doing yoga, ham
Message:
And when he gets back from riding his bike he'll be too blissed out on endorphins to fight.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:29:46 (EDT)
From: bill
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Pat, about Boris/Mili
Message:
Hi Pat,
You mentioned that mili would need help of an IT pro,
Mili IS an IT pro.
He recently did work for Microsoft.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:07:48 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: bill
Subject: Re:mili and microsoft?
Message:
now that has a distinctly sour note. oh but i would never malign microsoft--theyre just the most wonderful people you ever dealt with....(kack)

sorry--hairball in my throat or something. it was nothing. scuse me while i go check my inventory. i think i used up all my c-4 blowing up those dog turds on our front walk yesterday...i really must take an anger management course one of these days..

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:53:31 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To: bill
Subject: Why's his site so crap then? (nt)
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:06:01 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: What are you talking about?
Message:
Ham,

Come on now. Mili's got acid dolphins and his own short-shorts crotch shot. He's also got some links.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:08:17 (EDT)
From: Julian
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: U mean this
Message:

[ Mili's topless gay porn site ]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:24:32 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: Julian
Subject: Re:what a rant
Message:
jeez--the prehistoric thing...sounds like something i heard at the whole life expo. what a singsong drone. i dont consider my body 'hardware'. not unless they replace my bones with titanium and my nerves with wiring.

i could have fallen for this when i was about 18. not since.
moody blues, admixed with timothy leary, admixed with max headroom

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:30:35 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Julian
Subject: Yes, indeed, and check out this puppy!
Message:

[ Mili ]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:30:35 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Julian
Subject: Yes, indeed, and check out this puppy!
Message:

[ Mili ]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:45:28 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: That's it?
Message:
You must have hit your summit button twice while your connection timed out as the cartoon slowed it down. Or else those endorphins have gone to your patella oblongata and have made you imagine things.

That's it? A cartoon whose punch line is. ''I wonder whether I should become a sponsor?''

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:28:03 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Re: That's it?
Message:
interesting freudian there pat.

you know jim would never 'submit'...

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:49:12 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Acccccctuallyyyy .....
Message:
I hit 'enter' by mistake.

The cartoon is from Mili's site and is a pathetic example of Maharaji cult thinking -- Get buzz? Give money.

Interestingly enough, I think Mili's always bragged about how he doesn't give money. But I might be wrong.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:54:32 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Speaking of the devil, Jim
Message:
This hot off the presses from LG:

Posted by Cultweasel

Recipient: Mili

Subject: Re: EPO/Forums Confusion, and Accuracy

Now this is a Mili I like. And he is right. Over there we have ignore the buckets of shit thrown in our faces. Over here we dont. By attempting to take the high moral ground John does not mean you have got it. Try realising that your site represents the views of very few marginalised and disturbed people. 27 regulars I believe was the last email list?

Now off to have a little lamb and spend some time with my pals as much as I enjoy your company.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:42:50 (EDT)
From: Miss PWKb) formerly known as Pat:C)
Email: None
To: bill
Subject: You're fucking paranoid
Message:
is that all you exes can do? Sit around and invent fucking conspoiracy theories? get a life. Lifes grate. M is beautiful and I'm so enlightened. All you can do is attack M and premeis. Don't you know that us PWKs are superior? We've got K and all we want to do is propagate so okay maybe we don't have any friends because they think we're trying to convert them so I suppose tyou'll say that's why us cultweasels hang out here.

Pussy Weasel Kitty, that's Miss PWK to you you hater you.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:31:05 (EDT)
From: bill
Email: None
To: bill
Subject: Hey Mili old buddy,
Message:
How do you square your borrowed ideas that life here is run by an unconcious oneness and you have to behave in some correct behaviour to merge back in with it,
with your present behaviours on that caca site of yours?

Plenty of people adopt the warrior for god stance
in thier lives, I guess being from Croatia you just HAVE to have some enemy somewhere, and being from Croatia, it has to be a war involving religion.
Guess it is in your genes, I dont think this internet should extend to all parts of the world.
Why not host a local program?
Let us know how the regional syncronicity coordinator helps you out in setting it up just right.
You really need to be more involved in the mission so that you can have a more real grasp of
the realities involved.
It may look better than the virgin mary appearing
to those 3 people in Majorka Croatia, and maybe your family all wish you would take a pilgrimidge
to hear the message of the virgin right from the mouth of the spokeswoman there, but you have thrown your lot with the lord who shimmers on the
western horizon hoping ideas about the breath DO
change reality.

Think about human nature, it tells us something.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:35:05 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: bill
Subject: Re: Hey Mili old buddy,
Message:
Is he real or just a fictional character like Boris? How about Cultweasel?
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:25:52 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Yes, I see your face everywhere
Message:
I come in peace!

God, that feels great! And to think I'm even sick. What an athlete, what a pro. I just have to keep doing this ....

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:33:17 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: So why doncha rub my face in it?
Message:
trying to make me feel guilty?

Pat the Fat Fag - just sitting here on the computer doing cyberstalking and internet pornography getting fatter and fatter.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:43:12 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Yes!
Message:
Pat,

Is exercise out the question for you? I saw a film once where those two homosexual fellows went to a gym. Was that just fiction? Hollywood, eh? Yeah, I knew it ....

No, seriously, you can at least go for good walks, no? This slight but dramatic (for me) shift from pure sedentarianismanilty is great. I missed three days -- Friday through Sunday -- being sick but now, even though I'm still sick, this felt good.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:46:10 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Just got back form an hour walk with dogs
Message:
But yes you are inspiring me. I love aerobics and need it for my clogged arteries. I'm the only fat fag in SF. The rest are all gympansies with tits like MM and waists smaller than my leg.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:53:29 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: trouble is -food glorious food and wine
Message:
Just about to shower and dress for dinner (think I'll wear my enjoying life tee shirt) and eat a roast leg of lamb with roast potatoes, haricot verts and bechamel au jus with a nice old oaky bourdeaux. Ooops sorry to gross you out, forgot you're a veg.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:35:20 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Too late
Message:
Already put my runners on. Thanks anyway
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:32:55 (EDT)
From: Roger eDrek
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: I wanna post some really cool pictures of Jim
Message:
Hell, Jim is for all practical purposes a pubic person and as CAC says:

One of his pastimes is taking photos of public persons, adding bare breasts or genitalia to them, and showing them on the net.

Jim, are you ready?

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:41:34 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: Roger eDrek
Subject: That's very funny Roger.
Message:
Hey Rog,

That one cracked me up.

I've been thinking about it. Why don't you send CAK the picture of me trying to commit suicide in San Francisco Bay harbour? It would sit well with the rest of the stuff they've got in my cv.

You could also send them the one of you having lunch with Bill Gates in Seattle.

They'd be over the moon.

Anth the photogenic.

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:49:55 (EDT)
From: aposterate
Email: None
To: Roger eDrek
Subject: cool pictures of Jim PUBIC?
Message:
Oh my...can't wait

Hell, Jim is for all practical purposes a pubic person and as CAC says:

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:36:17 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Roger eDrek
Subject: Re: I wanna post some really cool pictures of Jim
Message:
Can we have with him in that little pink number he wore to darshan in Amaroo?
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 06:43:14 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: LOL again. (nt)
Message:
heeeeee haaaaaa
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:34:41 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Roger eDrek
Subject: No! [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:02:07 (EDT)
From: Bob
Email: None
To: All
Subject: Power website !!
Message:
Just found the link to j'accuse below, already out of sight.
Although I am not a cristian myself I think that the established cristian communities can crush rawat and the cult. There is an existing network, an abundance of money and plenty of determination. The tone in this open letter sounds exactly right to me. I hope it can be put on EPO. This letter is a gem. everybody should read it!!
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 05:47:58 (EDT)
From: JohnT
Email: None
To: Bob
Subject: Re: Power website !!
Message:
Thanks Bob,

WORKING LINK!

I am not Xian myself, but live in a nominally Xian culture. I agree the charges of being a false god; false messiah; and false prophet are powerful in those parts of the world where the God of Abraham and Isaiah is worshipped.

PREMIES WORSHIP A FALSE GOD!


It's just that I would say all claimants to that throne are fraudulent pretenders. If this is a view shared by many here, it would make being direct allies with Xian interests problematic!

However, broad organisations like Cult Busters Anonymous interpret 'God' in terms of a 'Higher Power' along the lines of twelve step programs, and this is ecumenical enough in my view to bring all on board in the fight against spiritual fraud and cultic mind-control rackets.
[ J'accuse! ]

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:28:47 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Bob
Subject: J'accuse is brilliant but
Message:
The nice christians are too polite to pick a fight with rawat and the nasty ones ....well I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:34:50 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Re: J'accuse is brilliant but
Message:
PatC, surely you jest :C)

The Christians would not like this guy telling people he is God, let alone greater than God. The Christians should be our target market.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:38:33 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Deborah
Subject: Re: J'accuse is brilliant but
Message:
Let's talk about this by email. It is something I have often thought about.

St Pat, the former altar boy, monk and hater of snakes.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:58:09 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Re: J'accuse is brilliant but
Message:
I thought being a recovering Catholic was bad. Doesn't hold a candle next to the recovering cultist shit.

J'ACCUSE THE BIGHEAD ~)

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:43:23 (EDT)
From: Moley
Email: moldy_warp@hotmail.com
To: All
Subject: Hey CAC people - I shag sheep in my spare time
Message:
Why didn't you respond to my Email invitation Borisnotgoodenough? Scared I'll get the wellies out???
Of course you'll have to sweet-talk me to find out what my regular job is. Suffice to say I'm sure you'd find it interesting.
Yours in anticipation of greater things to COME.
Moley xxx
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:30:37 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Moley
Subject: Do you use a strap-on, Moley?
Message:
thrilled to have you back. Really missed you and Nige.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:27:08 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Moley
Subject: hey missed you
Message:
I thought sheep needed shagging to get the wool?
Good to see you here.

Selene the english is a second language confused

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:04:11 (EDT)
From: Cynthia
Email: None
To: Selene
Subject: Selene, It's Shearing...
Message:
they do to get the wool....shagging...well, we all know what that means...:)

Hope you're well

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 14:49:04 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: Cynthia
Subject: heh yeah that's right
Message:
I'm fine other than being busy. And well, all this mess.
Thanks I knew it was something like shagging :)
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:29:13 (EDT)
From: Nigel
Email: nigel@redcrow.demon.co.uk
To: All
Subject: Hey you fucking CAC cowardly bastardfaces…
Message:
Where’s MY page? I did start the Trojan Horse thing (others jumped in for the glory, but it was my idea) and my evil cousin Larkin is simply asking for it. Come on, I double dare you… I am the sincerest of sincere drug-addled ‘probably armed and dangerous’ cyberstalkers. Do me one, please. I mean, pretty please with ornately-carved, blue-tinted god-men embellished knobs on...! Come on, I'm gagging for it...
Nige
[ Evidence of cyberstalking... ]
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 07:08:50 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: I know how you feel Nigel.
Message:
Where’s MY page? I did start the Trojan Horse thing (others jumped in for the glory, but it was my idea) and my evil cousin Larkin is simply asking for it. Come on, I double dare you… I am the sincerest of sincere drug-addled ‘probably armed and dangerous’ cyberstalkers. Do me one, please. I mean, pretty please with ornately-carved, blue-tinted god-men embellished knobs on...! Come on, I'm gagging for it...
Nige


---

And to rub salt into the wounds, they put that bastard Salam up before both of us.

Still, at least I'm there and you're not, so ner ner na ner ner to you mate.

Anth, half fame is better than none at all.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 23:52:50 (EDT)
From: janet
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Re:larkin--a request
Message:
i was going to email you at larkin@redcrow.demon.co.uk
but i thought hell, I'll just ask it here-

how about a jape of the slim shady song? with the chorus
My name is
(ra WHAT?')
MY NAME IS
(RA WAT?)
m name is
(ra WAT?)...

my friend already mangled the lyric
'i just drank a case of cognac--
dare me to fly?'
(my name is...
my name is..
my name is..)

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:34:44 (EDT)
From: Roger eDrek
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Yeah, I'll vouch for Nigel
Message:
I've seen his picture. His body language says it all - bad to the bone. A real cyberstalking substance abuser skirt chasing skirt wearing whatever and everything.

If you see this cyberstalker Nigel please contact InterPol immediately.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:00:54 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: Looking for a top 20 spot are we?
Message:
Obviously CAC got inspiration from Woo-Woo site, love the Church of the Sub-Genius link.
Your site should be up above in the links I reckon.

Are Fitzroys Crap Theories going up sometime soon?

Recent attempts in hamzens modelling career fail dismally, see link, especially the pic on the far right!
[ This can happen to you if you leave THE guru ]

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 07:26:11 (EDT)
From: AJW
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: Your mum looks good for her age Ham. (nt)
Message:
Is that your local MP you're having a pint with?
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:25:28 (EDT)
From: Selene
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: back where I belong
Message:
Hey great picture. Thanks for one of the few smiles for this Monday.
I think I'm supposed to answer something you asked me but I forgot.

love,
Selene the already there

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:33:24 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To: Selene
Subject: I'll e-mail ya
Message:
on that

OT, those ru nights are starting to kick up a storm I'll tall ya, jeesus I was even caught doing a jig to drum & bass this weekend, and at 170bpm that's something, AND I was still awake at the end!

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:17:30 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: hamzen
Subject: Great post-mortem shot, Mike
Message:
You're not still sexually active, I hope. Naw, that's not possible. Actually, it's not a bad picture. Kind of like Lou Reed if he wasn't a teetotaler.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:48:58 (EDT)
From: Joe
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: If you were gay, you'd be there already....
Message:
Such is the rampant homophobia of that group of 'students' of the master Maharaji, who by the way, seems to have made zero effort to distance himself from what they have done, homophobia and all.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:41:14 (EDT)
From: JHB
Email: None
To: Nigel
Subject: There's not many of us left
Message:
Of all of us who have held positions of power within this movement (of the bowel variety). You, me, Bazza (no - strike that one), Charlie (no - retired long ago), Brian (no - retired recently) and Katie. So, it's a three horse race, you, me and Katie. I guess me and Katie are just too nice, so Nige - you're definitely next!:-)

John

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 17:09:49 (EDT)
From: OTS
Email: None
To: All
Subject: OTS responds (and how)
Message:
OTS has asked me to post this for him. - Richard
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TO: EPO Readers
FROM: OTS
DATE: August 27, 2001
RE: Update

I made my first and only post here on July 20, and have now had five weeks to digest everything, including my statement and your comments and posts back to me, which, til today, I have not answered. However, due to some FOG CLEARING IN MY HEAD, I have now, after 29 and a half years, finally ended my association with Maharaji -- fully and totally. It was a sad day, yesterday, as I filled up two suitcases (over 50 pounds in weight) with every videotape, audiotape, audiocassette music tape, CD, book, brochure, service file, jewelry, Amaroo logo shirt, Indian cloth sack, 3x5 picture, 4 x 6 picture, 8x10 picture, larger mala-wearing dancing pictures, hand-written prayer book, and a blueprint for a large outdoor festival years old (showing the placement of the Darshan recovery area, etc.) and anything else associated with Maharaji and/or his father found in my house and tossed it all in a large dumpster behind an Indian restaurant near where I live. That’s it folks -- the baby, the bathwater and the whole fuckin basinet -- outta here! I have replaced it all with a newly acquired bobble-head doll of my favorite baseball player.

I apologize for my arrogance in my July 20 post. I was trying to hold on to my beloved cult participation and belief systems (that, in fact, Maharaji is God or even greater than God, knows all, is a perfect master, whatever that is, etc.) After almost three decades, it is quite painful to come to the realization that Maharaji is only in it as a family business, he is not the Superior Power in Person, he is not all-knowing, he is not going to take me across the 'oceans of this world . . . to the other side' (wherever that may be), and he has not given me peace even though I surrendered the reigns of my life to him totally years and years ago, as he suggested. My family members and friends (the few I have left) will be shocked if it ever comes up. I doubt it will, they’ll just continue to think of me as a cult-driven sadsack. That’s okay. I was. I cannot believe that I am just now realizing all this. But it is all too clear to me now. I was in a race (triathletic) for recognition and acceptance by the one who was going to save me. [Just this year in Portland, he told the aspirants, religion is for salvation after this life, Knowledge is for salvation during this life.] Oh, please, save me, save me save me!!! Oh, Please!

Maharaji says now he is not a leader, a spiritual practitioner or a teacher, but I know what I was told and what to believe for many many many many many many years by him and his appointed saints and organizers, including the writings of his father, Shri Maharji in his 'Hans Yog Prakash' (a devotional manual if there ever was one). And now, again, I was recently faced with having to sing Arti to him and prostrate before him at this feet during Darshan. This is not 30 years ago, this is THIS YEAR -- 2001. In fact, I have now come to the conclusion that I was trapped for near 30 years in a personality cult (sort of like followers of ‘N Sync or Barbara Streisand -- but a million times worse) and just wanted to get closer to the star personality which we all worshiped as God! 'Only by His Grace,' was my/our byword. NO LONGER! I’m through with all this shit. I told you in my July 20th post that I had/have personal contacts with Maharaji and that I liked him and he liked me. Well, as some of you responded to me, so what?! You’re right. That I continued in my master/student relationship even though his organization was in shambles was/is a contradiction, you said. I now agree.

I have now come full circle and want to say that I am feeling so free today in that I am relieved of this religion and the fear I carried with it -- my quest to get closer and closer, to get a better seat, to have more chitchat with him, to be respected as one closer and closer to the 'inner circle.' What an ego-driven waste. I am and always have been just a lowly mid-level meaningless person in his organization. And finally poor from running all over the world to satisfy my quest as outlined above. What a stupid out of balance person I was.

However, I am so disappointed in his performance in the past 15 years. What about the first 15 years with him? In retrospect, he seemed to be trying for a while, but failed. He promised to work hard to bring this Knowledge to the rest of the world. In my opinion, he didn’t do it. Whether because of laziness, or whatever personal problems he was dealing with, he just didn’t do it. I worked really hard over the past 15 years to try and get propagation going in my city, but it was just a joke -- locally and nationally. The public was just not buying. [Why couldn’t I see through the fog?] Just recently some new person was given a videotape said, 'Okay, I want to see him.' Well, she was told, he doesn’t come around too often -- like hardly ever. It is obvious that Knowledge isn’t going to be spread with any success via videotape or broadcasts. Nope. And how far does someone have to drive to attend some hotel room meeting to get informed about what the next step is in the process for them to receive knowledge (including having to pass all kinds of interviews and rounds of rounds of screening (many by elderly people from other cultures))? It doesn’t have to take a quarter million dollars for him (and his large entourage and production company) to come and speak in a hotel room. He can do it himself, easily and cheaply, yet he won’t.

I tried my hand last year at participation involving putting on one of his large events. A personal disaster for me. No cooperation, sleep depravation, burn out. Dealing with EV and its staff and volunteers was completely frustrating; in my opinion because everyone involved was only really concerned with getting a better seat, being closer to the inner circle, getting some personal time and recognition with him, etc. Ever been around him in a small or mid-sized group of people? It’s so weak. People just blurt out the most outrageous, stupid and silly things. And everyone just laughs. Hahahahaha. Insipid and clearly a drag. I never went for that kind of conversation with him. In the end, today, I feel that as a person, I like him, personally, a little. But because of this Master shit, I have lost all respect for him. He speaks nicely and can inspire one to seek one’s inner truth, but that doesn’t equate with the total adoration that is required by him and his. This is a very sick personality cult. It doesn’t do one any good. He IS the weakest link. Good bye.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:55:00 (EDT)
From: RichMandrake
Email: None
To: OTS
Subject: Amazing Post OTS...
Message:
Wow!!...Very Moving Post OTS....Thank You for having the Courage and The Devotion (to yourself) to work through what I know to be very very difficult issues.
I look forward to hearing more from you...and Im also curious about your previous posts...I missed them..and since there are no archives for the briefly existing Forum 6...I cant find them...If you care to repost or reexplain...In any case...That was A Beautiful Heartfelt Letter...Thank You...RichMandrake
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 22:23:26 (EDT)
From: a0aji
Email: and_on_anand@yahoo.com
To: OTS
Subject: :: hang in there, Otis :: [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:55:46 (EDT)
From: btdt
Email: None
To: OTS
Subject: Re: OTS responds (and how)
Message:
NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo, don't go!!! Stay. There's a couple of us this all hit within the past month. What you said helps.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:55:44 (EDT)
From: btdt
Email: None
To: OTS
Subject: Re: OTS responds (and how)
Message:
NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo, don't go!!! Stay. There's a couple of us this all hit within the past month. What you said helps.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:59:10 (EDT)
From: Richard
Email: None
To: OTS
Subject: Thank you OTS
Message:
I can only imagine the incredible courage it took to arrive at a place where you could write that. I'm also certain there will be many after shocks from your decision but it sounds like you have the stamina for that. Thanks for speaking out with such passion and responding to the many people who commented on your first post. You've taken a leadership role and have shown all readers here the strength of your convictions. I know for a fact you were totally dedicated and I trust you will re-focus that dedication on yourself and family.
Peace brother,
Richard
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:29:54 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: Re: OTS responds (and how)
Message:
OTS, I'd love to correspond with you if and when you like:

jamesheller@home.com

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:17:45 (EDT)
From: JHB
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: OTS's 20th July Post
Message:
I hope she doesn't mind, but I've been brought to task for not getting the F6 archives on line, so here is OTS's first post (via Sir Dave). To me it shows a standard pattern of awakening for someone who genuinely felt she loved Maharaji but couldn't avoid all the other stuff. Her latest post shows she's had a really good look at her involvement with Maharaji.

John.

Subject: Anon article posted here by request
From: David
To: All
Date Posted: Fri, Jul 20, 2001 at 12:29:09 (EDT)
Email Address: sirdavid12@hotmail.com

Message:
I was emailed this article today by a premie who has asked me to post it here for you to read. Here it is: TO: Your Readers FROM: OTS SUBJECT: Shades of Gray DATE: July 21, 2001 Warning: This is long,
but you all appear to be very bored, so here goes -- my first, last and only post here. About two years I ago, I stumbled onto EPO and was shocked; hit the BACK key and vowed never to go back to the site. (You
guessed it, a premie). I’ve kept up the “company line” for the past two years, you know, something like, “Hey, if you’re not into it, fine, but get a life, move on.” But, “thanks” to Pia G., I had to find out what had
gotten her so upset. If it weren’t for her “It-Ain’t-So” site, I would have never asked the obvious: WHAT isn’t so? and gone back to EPO. Why go there for the answers? Because, EV appears to me faceless and
nameless -- locally, nationally and I guess internationally. I get no information whatsoever from EV. Who runs EV? What are their names? When will they hold a question-and-answer session in person in my
town? [I know Pia and her wonderful and lovely husband and kids and am so sorry for her health situation. However, I think her site is embarrassing, as are the ELK site, the FAQs on the EV site, and the
response from EV lawyers you’ve posted, but also, as well, most of the hateful speech linked to and on your EPO site.] Anyway… I’ve appreciated reading many but not all of the posts of the exes and feel that
some of the dialogue is useful, however, stale. I spent about 125 hours over the past six weeks reading the entire “Best of” Forum and most of the material on the EPO. [Side comment, “thanks” to all of you who
wasted my time with your unnecessary posts like “Great post,” “Definite *Best of*” “zzzzzzzz” “dsfgdfsg” etc.] However, in truth, as a caring human being, I really feel the pain of the exes and sympathize with and
understand what they are saying and where they are coming from. I do. Really! All of it! I wish you all well. As you might tell, I appear conflicted in that I empathize, but don’t agree with the thrust of it at all. I
have learned a lot. This whole dialogue is not a joke. I also have had to face what I did with my life the past thirty years, and where I am at today as well as how it has positioned me for my final 20+ years on
earth (I hope) -- financially, emotionally, and (I agree with Nigel) motivationally. I’ve enjoyed very much the re-analyzing. It helped me to see where I have fallen short in my life and not taken responsibility for
my actions/mistakes, etc. It’s been really good for me to come to terms with the whole enchilada -- the pluses and minuses. And for that, I send some thanks. Do I believe all of M’s alleged problems are of
paramount import to me? No, I do not. Our relationship transcends all of that. Always has. Your concerns are in many cases 25+ years old. My experiences and feelings are real to me and cannot be denied.
But, I know you all think I’m a self-deluded idiot, brainwashed by the cult, lost. No worries. I always felt that Jagdeo was a son of a bitch, really. What a nasty guy -- to me and most others. When not on the road
in little U.S. towns and hamlets, he was hated by those in Denver. And now to read about Susan and Abi -- I am so sorry for your troubles. What an infuriating and horrible thing, I’m sure. [Note: When he first
came to the U.S., he was nice, respectful to others, and carried a little cloth sack around with his things in it. But, a few weeks after his arrival, he was summoned to a meeting with MataJi (M’s mother, whom I
blame for everything you guys are troubled about, including regarding her youngest son) and all of a sudden became a mean despot. I’m close with the person who took care of him, and Jagdeo was confronted
and admitted that it was MataJi in the meeting who’d told him how to act and how to be -- including orders to never sit at the same level as a premie, always sit above them, etc. etc. Jagdeo apologized and
never was disrespectful again to this person, who had stood up to him.] As you probably know, your case is weak, however. (Not your beef, but your case.) To me, your site’s notion of justice is out of whack. Your
lawyers will not “pierce the corporate veil.” On the other hand, do I think Valerio is a joke? Yes, I do. And that he charges hundreds of dollars to go to one of his corporate-speak service trainings? Outraged.
Why? Because I see the graduates (EV managers) of those seminars and I do not see any improvement at all in their service performance. Have I been ticked over the past few years by the fact that major
donors are getting to spend a lot of time with Maharaji and always sit up front at events, while financially strapped me with not great eyesight anymore is usually near the back or way over on the side at my
one-hour-a-year U.S. event? Yes I am. But, hey, that’s life. I’ve dealt with a lot more in the past 30 years. It’s not the essence. I am writing today because of your kindness and respect shown to David Andersen
[hey MFer, you are completely fly for a white guy and you knows it, cuz] and her sister. I hope that you might find it in your hearts to be nice to me, but I know how easy it is for many of you to dissect every word
and parse every sentence posted by non-exes. Thanks, but save it, okay? I will not be responding to your comments or lists of questions for me. I do not want any argument, dialogue or pissing contest. I’ll check
back in a few days, but then, like David Andersen, it’ll be adios amigos for me!!! I am tired from and of reading your site. One request: please don’t copy this message in its entirety and then reprint the whole
thing but with your comments stuck in after every few sentences >>. I hate that. If you must, just write a paragraph and get your point across, okay? Did you ever live in a two-bedroom apartment with 23 people
and have to do all their laundry, as well as cook, clean the place, make lunches, make breakfast, chase rats, mice and roaches 24/7, clean the satsang room, which was also the bedroom and knowledge room
(sessions all day and night) all day long, every day, with no break, and have to constantly fix and plunge the stuffed up seriously over-used toilet, constantly shop for food and have to carry up all the groceries
four flights of steps yourself, and then have to make chai at an exact temperature five times a day on top of all the rest? And be sleep-deprived but made to rise before dawn to sing and pray in Hindi before you
could meditate and your myriad of responsibilities begin all over again? And be disrespected and told that, no, you can’t go out for ice cream -- ever again You cannot go to the movies -- ever! And your
mother, weeping softly through her forced smile as she drops you off -- her teenaged daughter/housemother -- in the cold night after an all-too-infrequent dinner-out-with-mom, amongst all these drunks and
druggies lurking, loitering, urinating and flashing all over the block and right in front of your darkened building. And you will not get to tool around town in a swank light blue Plymouth sedan and have an
expense account, as others did. And you may not go out to dinner with your main squeeze or any friends. You cannot do shit! Some can, but you can’t. (On weekends, while in the ashram, I used to play softball
in the park with beer-drinking, pot-smoking nonpremie hippies, because I had nothing else to do all weekend long -- no vacations, skiing, nothing.) And by the way we are transferring you to Kalamazoo,
Michigan. Did you surrender your entire life over to M, but found that in charge were some idiots who really didn’t give a shit about you? I did. It hurt. (By the way, if you’re out there: Fuck you, Candy McNary,
you bitch!) [Do I have some anger left? Evidently.] Way too many of the women wannabe executives/feminists with their ashen faces and stupid high collars made me sick. Ugly as shit, too. Kissing up to Bob
and Lou and the Michaels and all the rest. What a bunch of phonies and pathetic status climbers. Though I have seen just about everything that went on and know most all of the players personally for the past
30 years, I can say without hesitation that I don’t know everything, obviously. I kind of enjoyed (known as guilty pleasure) reading AJW, Nigel, Jim Sanders, Richard R., Joy J., Mike Finch, Friends of Mike Finch,
Way and a few others -- especially Michael Donner! I hear where you all are coming from. I especially feel empathy for those who lived in England in the 70’s and other older countries with long rich cultures
and traditions and were part of DLM in any way shape or form and who had to go through all that crap. You know, the insensitivity of the Indian Mahatmas and their never-ending trips (sick and otherwise); the
robotic badly interpreted agya; the outright selfishness, hurt and noncaring; having to leave the ashram penniless and homeless and having to start from scratch at near 30-years-of-age with a really weak
résumé. (I know these all -- all too well.) I feel especially saddened by these tales from across the Atlantic for some reason -- perhaps because I feel that the U.K. was the original birth place of the Church
Ladies. Because, being so far away from groovy Denver and the former DLM headquarters, you all were seriously lagging and lacking in any kind of fun whatsoever, it appears. If you’ve had the chance to read
Sophia Collier’s Soul Rush book (great writing) on the EPO, you know that things kind of deteriorated as far as the monastic lifestyle out at the old IHQ ashrams (pronounced in the U.K. as “ash,” as in cigarette
ash and “rams” as in the animal -- not the deep “a” as in “opera” for both syllables as it is pronounced in the U.S.). The idea of bringing the Eastern monastic lifestyle into the aftermath of the freaky 60’s here in
America was all too much. Just didn’t work. Too many 20-year-olds with raging hormones. (Again, I blame Mrs. J.J. Mata Ji). The long sleeves and long skirts and Earthshoes® for the gals; the second-hand suits
for the guys -- nice touch. [However, remember that in ’74-’75, we got wholesale discounts on some new clothes from some New York fashion houses and everyone got a new fashionable coat and a few newer
style outfits, though we still had to beg for replacement underwear and socks (“Please, Danielle?”).] I recall that, aside from practicing meditation, satsang and service, the only thrill I got (initially) was looking
forward to putting cayenne on my daily housemother’s special -- the veggie plate -- at dinner. That was it! Red pepper. What a rush! Wow! What an exciting existence. But, you know, I loved it all. Really. Those
were exciting, fun times, through it all. [Am I schizo? Maybe.] Though I write anonymously today, I miss the smiles and laughter of Joan Boykin, Joe Natter, Joan Leahy, Lou Schwartz, Shelly Kaplan, Kathy
Sullivan, Dan Hinckley, Kim Schaurer, Janet and Guy Rollins, and the hundreds of others I lived and worked with. And I miss the community premies who didn’t live in the ashram, but were just as inspirational
and loving and supportive of me. What happened to them? Where did they go? Where are they? What happened? I miss you all. You are/were wonderful people, lovely to me, funny, fun, insightful, friendly
and caring. I also sincerely miss and will always miss Jon Chan (“Time for arti,” in his sweet Asian whisper), Francisco Arce, David Davis, Darrell Evers, Titi Benofi, Nick Seymour Jones, Michael Compton, Bill
Rowe, Jordi Kessler, Eileen Mishler, Steve O’Neil and Sandy Meadows -- all dead now, all former premie friends. The living ones, I wonder about. Where’s Tiny, Suzi Bai, Dick Mezey, Ellen Saxel, Thabo
Chitja, and so many many others? And why have they disappeared like Chandra Levy? So, what’s my relevant point here? Well, like Dave Andersen, I have a master/student relationship with Maharaji that
includes a personal aspect to it. Am I friends with him and his family? No. But he and I like each other. He knows me. I know him. We talked just recently. Privately. He’s always cared personally about me and
shown it. He’s the greatest! (In fact, he once told me during play that he was going to smash me into a million pieces.) I love him. My experience is mine. Undeniable. You can’t touch it. Okay, we’ve got
problems (I’ve now read all about them). And I’m sorry. And I hope things get ironed out. (But, as you can see from the above, I am not too enamored with the organizational aspect and think it is quite
dysfunctional.) Not that I have turned a blind eye to the above enumerated problems, or your many allegations, but, nobody is going to tell me -- NOBODY -- that the joy I’ve experienced in listening to him has
not been real and inspiring, time and time again, or that his personal guidance and advices to me have not been always right on, or that Knowledge hasn’t worked. No! I know all that like I know I’m alive. I am
sorry you guys hate his guts. I really am. Unconditional love requires overlooking seeming faults on both sides of the relationship. I’ve witnessed his growth and mine, and I feel our relationship’s great worth for
me. I hope that all of you find peace one day and come to terms with -- TO YOU -- the terrible fate that has befallen you by being associated with Maharaji. If you can, enjoy the wonderful remaining years
you’ve got left (if any. Who knows?). Hug your wife, smell your kids, go to the beach, and get the fuck off the Internet already. Thanks. All you hungry sharks may now continue your online feeding frenzy. Your
brother, always, OTS.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:51:58 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: Re: OTS's 20th July Post
Message:
Thanks for reposting that John. A great read. I'm looking forward to hearing more from OTS.
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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 00:26:18 (EDT)
From: Brian Smith
Email: None
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Captain Fantistic's stream of conciousness
Message:
Wow! OTS what a way to tell a story!

And the strawberries are green but ripe on the great blue transistor, but you better not eat them........don't get me started, nooooo,
pleeeeze

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:49:06 (EDT)
From: Marianne
Email: MarianneDB@aol.com
To: JHB
Subject: OTS and Kalamazoo
Message:
OTS, did you really get sent to Kalamazoo? I lived there and helped start the ashram there (on Stuart Street in August, 1973). I left in February, 1974, soon after Bill Patterson arrived. Is that where you lived? I'd be interested to know.

Thanks for sharing your current thoughts about your departure from the cult. It wasn't easy for us when we left -- even years ago, like me. And I am paying for it again now.

Marianne

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:43:43 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: You're kidding - is this the same person
Message:
Are you sure JHB that that post is the same person as the one who left the post at top of thread?

OTS, me oh my, you have your brain back. What a beautifully written post you contributed. You must have done a lot of soul searching in the past month. I applaud you.

Thanks for the sensitive timing. A shred of hope in a time of crisis.

Much appreciated. :)

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:27:04 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: Best NON-exit speech yet too!
Message:
This thing's fantastic! Too much, OTS. Nice to hear from you. It's like listening to Humpty Dmupty on speed, smiling, muttering away happily as he starts to fall ......
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:12:03 (EDT)
From: Brian Smith
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: Best exit speech yet!
Message:
As a recent ex myself, my sentiments exactly, well said Richard, you so elouquently expressed the entire gamut of emotions and reasons why I too threw in the towel after 29 years in the cult.

Thank you for your courage in confronting the truth about the guru and the cult and sharing your experience so honestly with us

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:17:03 (EDT)
From: Richard
Email: None
To: Brian Smith
Subject: Brian, post was from OTS
Message:
An anonymous poster named OTS asked me to post that.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 21:21:52 (EDT)
From: Brian Smith
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: Oh Well,
Message:
At least he shit-canned all of his cult paraphernalia. Can you imagine the reaction of the poor hungry derelict foraging for a slighty used chapati when he stumbles into this mess

Maybe he would become an ex dumpster diver?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:46:23 (EDT)
From: Joe
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: Wonderful post -- lots of courage
Message:
Yes, courage. It isn't easy to question what you've been believing for so many years. I was only involved in the Maharaji cult for 10 years, and it wasn't easy then, but at least there is a lot more support here, and more information available.

OTS, thanks for being a sincere person with integrity. It's great to see. You seem to be the kind of person, someone sincerely trying to understand the truth and to see what's real and what's bullshit, that encouraged me to become a premie in the first place. It's nice to see that there are people like you still around.

I have a question though. You mentioned arti and darshan in 2001. Was that at Amaroo? Are you saying, that in 2001, Maharaji still has ARTI sung to him and still has thousands line up to kiss his feet? Are you talking just a few months ago? Have you ever wondered why people at introductory or aspirant programs are not told about this? It just seems so outrageous that ex-premies are attacked so ruthlessly for relaying this kind of information.

Are you aware that members of your cult TARGET those who disagree with Maharaji and his actions? Have you checked out the nifty website your fromer compatriots have put together at www.stopcyberstalkers.org?

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 20:35:42 (EDT)
From: la-ex
Email: None
To: Joe
Subject: That's right, Joe,stillin 2001
Message:
Joe-

Yes, m had arti and the 'slowest darshan line ever' at the recent kangaroo hop in amaroo 2001.
(I just heard yesterday that there is a 9 day hop planned this fall...supposedly from someone who's going..)

I agree with you, and have asked premies: how can you do stuff like that, and then NOT tell the aspirants about it?

Not only do they worship and adore him, but still line up to kiss the feet of an alcoholic liar, who isn't a leader or messianic figure...

When m does this stuff, it shows me he is desparate...
When premies don't question it, it shows me how programmed they really are, and how afraid they really are of leaving the religion...

Too bad...

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:37:06 (EDT)
From: Rick
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: That was great...
Message:
but just wait a few months and you won't think maharaji speaks nicely or is inspiring. Every time you hear him he'll sound lamer and lamer.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 17:42:40 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Richard
Subject: thanks Richard and OTS
Message:
OTS, I just hope that you didn't throw out the suitcases with the videos and pics. It's fine to throw out the baby with the bath water but suitcases are expensive. In a dumpster behind an Indian restaurant? Very appropriate! Welcome to freedom and sanity.

OT: Thanks for those pics Richard. I mean to ask you if those lilies had a perfume. They looked so enticing and cool.

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Date: Wed, Aug 29, 2001 at 03:14:32 (EDT)
From: Joy
Email: joyfenwick@onetel.net.uk
To: Pat:C)
Subject: Hilarious, Pat
Message:
That's so funny, Patrick C. I don't recall saving even a single suitcase from my cult days, but instead drove out of there in a rickety old Corvair which my stepdad had patched together to help me get out -- not much to show for nine years' full-time dedicated, 24/7 service, is it?

OTS, Richard informs me you may be someone I remember from my graphics days at IHQ, but in true gentlemanly fashion refuses to divulge your identity to protect your anonymity. If you'd like to e-mail me, I put up my current e-mail address and I'd be happy to have a chat. I thought your post was just brilliant and I think whoever you are you have a lot of courage and fortitude to have done what you did and are doing. For me it was a slower process, I think, not one moment of blinding insight where I saw it all for the charade it was. Took a couple years to truly 'see the light' so to speak and realize it wasn't where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. And it took awhile to be able to say negative tihngs about Maharaji, whom I was so conditioned to view as Lord. But boy, once those floodgates are lifted . . .

Take care, and I hope to hear from you sometime,
Love,
Joy

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Date: Wed, Aug 29, 2001 at 14:02:13 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: Joy
Subject: Oh Joy oh bliss!
Message:
Hope you are well and happy. Lots of love to you.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:28:30 (EDT)
From: Sir Dave
Email: sirdavid12@hotmail.com
To: All
Subject: Thanks Gerry
Message:
For putting my peace loving website The Great Worldwide Linkup on your links at the top of this forum.

Peace, man. That's where it started all those years ago. Make love not war. Ah, it all comes back to me now...

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Date: Tues, Aug 28, 2001 at 03:41:47 (EDT)
From: pEG
Email: None
To: Sir Dave
Subject: Hello sir dave are you back? [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:44:59 (EDT)
From: gerry
Email: None
To: All
Subject: And the Winner Is...
Message:
This Year's Fakiranand Memorial Golden Hammer Award for the highest dedication to our Guru Maharaji goes to:

CAC

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:25:55 (EDT)
From: a0aji
Email: and_on_anand@yahoo.com
To: gerry
Subject: :: that's cute :: [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:55:53 (EDT)
From: Unnamed CAC Victim
Email: None
To: gerry
Subject: is that a ball peen hammer?
Message:
Going to talk to my boss to do damage control in the event the higher ups call for my head.

Is that a ball peen hammer, Ger?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:10:55 (EDT)
From: gerry
Email: None
To: Unnamed CAC Victim
Subject: Why, yes it is, actually
Message:
Good Luck with your boss.

My live-in girlfriend is pretty pissed about all this and wants me to shape up. She told me I had to get a haircut. Can a job be far behind? This CAC thing is ruining my life.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(snicker)

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:14:47 (EDT)
From: Thelma afraid to use real name
Email: None
To: gerry
Subject: Get ready for premie exodus
Message:
I can't deal with my email from premies right now. Till I was advised not to talk about the cult the against criticism, I was simply copying and pasting answers to them. Now I have had to tell them to read this forum and see what others are saying about it. A number of my premie friends are now reading this and I will have to be on my best behaviour.

(Sorry, Anth I will now longer be able to flirt with you lest I be accused of having cybersex with a happily married man. Jim and Joe I will not be able to respond to all your posts in case I am accused of stalking you.)

I was wondering how we will deal with the arrival of a bunch of new posters. I think the answer is to break the forum up into smaller fora to be more manageable. We could have the ''Jim argues with New Agers Forum.'' That will be the largest as most of my premie friends have some warm-fuzzy conceptual cobwebs.

I personally will be starting the Expremie Forum for Gay Colostomates, Transvestite Pornographers, Cordon Bleu Chefs and Dog Lovers. Any other ideas?

Gerry maybe you can start a Gunlovers and Urban Terrorists Forum with Salam and Roger.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:20:48 (EDT)
From: JHB
Email: None
To: Thelma afraid to use real name
Subject: Can I do the Latvian exes?
Message:
I don't feel very talkative:-)

John the only Latvian premie or ex-premie he knows

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:22:23 (EDT)
From: Pat:C)
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: trust you to pick the easy one;) [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 19:31:34 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: What do you mean by 'do'? [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:14:10 (EDT)
From: JHB
Email: None
To: Jim
Subject: Re: What do you mean by 'do'?
Message:
Run the Latvian exes forum of course. With such a large membership, it's going to need an experienced FA to keep them in line (you know these Latvians, don't you Jim?). Also, I'll be able to help with the language problems, vai ne?

Dþons

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 20:15:53 (EDT)
From: Jim
Email: None
To: JHB
Subject: Vai ne, yourself [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:32:21 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Thelma afraid to use real name
Subject: Hey Thelma
Message:
Thelma,

About those friends of theirs, would they be willing to post their comments (anonymously if necessary) about their opinion on the CAC site. I think their comments would be valuable. Maybe you could make a post in your own name and provide a list of commentary.

Sorry for coming down so hard on you regarding those apology adn sappy comments about Wango Tango but I see it for what it is.

Good to see you having some fun.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:37:54 (EDT)
From: Thelma afraid to use real nameb)
Email: None
To: Deborah
Subject: Hey, Deb
Message:
As you said: ''Their lies speak for themselves.'' No need to belabor the point. I'll ask my pals if I can use their emails but don't expect too much. Most of them are rattled and scared.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:01:39 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Thelma afraid to use real nameb)
Subject: Re: Hey, Deb
Message:
What a terrible thing for them to hear about their group.

Do they suspect Elan Vital's involvement? Are they mad at the BigHead for not coming forward in light of this criminal behaviour?

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:15:01 (EDT)
From: Miss PWKb) formerly known as Pat:)
Email: None
To: Deborah
Subject: I can't comment, Deb ;) [nt]
Message:
[nt]
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:23:18 (EDT)
From: Deborah
Email: None
To: Miss PWKb) formerly known as Pat:)
Subject: That's coolb) [nt]
Message:
I'm just testing to see how to do the head with the cool shades.
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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 14:29:27 (EDT)
From: Roger AK eDrek
Email: None
To: Thelma afraid to use real name
Subject: Re: Get ready for premie exodus
Message:
Well, ....

Nah, I can't even go there. My specialized Forum would just be to vile and despicable.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 15:13:34 (EDT)
From: Thelma the Church Lady
Email: None
To: Roger AK eDrek
Subject: I'm going back to the cult too, Rog
Message:
Our kind and merciful master has shown me that he is all powerful and controls the internet and has the best lawyers. I made a terrible mistake to leave him.

I know you hateful exes will say it is because I am scared of him and that my silicone implants are trembling with fear but the fact is that I miss straightening out those white table cloths for aspirant events even if no aspirants come.

I also was never harassed for being a transvestite pornographer or sleeping with happily married men or taking drugs because so many other PWKs do that too.


But watch out because my new agya is to be a cult-weasel agent provocateur for the net jihad and to that end I will in future be posting as Pussy Weasel Kitty. That's Miss PWKb) to you louts.

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 13:41:30 (EDT)
From: Sir David
Email: sirdavid12@hotmail.com
To: All
Subject: My final email to CAC
Message:
Dear CAC webmasters,

I will not be taking any legal action against your site although I understand that some of the people mentioned on your site will be.

I realise now that I made a mistake in ever getting involved in this anti-Maharaji business. I am not a well person, having a heart condition and other disabilities. My own life and that of my family's are the only things which are important to me. I never again will venture into the world of premies and ex-premies. Other people can do that but I will stay well clear.

In a way, I have finally been released from any involvement with Maharaji and his organisation. I consider any further involvement by me to be a waste of time and energy. I regret ever having been involved as a premie or an EX-premie.

I will leave you with your war. I hope that you will see that it is a futile war. There will always be differences of opinion and people will always have different experiences which they will relate.

Too much has been made of those differences and thus, the people who were once together have been polarized into to two opposing factions. Such polarizations are of no use to anyone, whether they be in Northern Ireland, The Middle East or in the premie/ex-premie cyberspace. I think the person responsible for this polarization is Maharaji. You may feel differently, of course.

I hope you will eventually see that the only way to deal with opposition to your master is not by opposing the opponents, but by putting forward a credible and understandable alternative view. That is the only way forward, in all these situations.

Yours sincerely,

David Simpkiss.



And that, I hope will be my final say on this matter. I wish everyone well, premie and ex-premie and leave with some sadness that while we were once together, with common ideals and aspirations - we have ended up as apparent enemies.

There must be a better way than this!

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Date: Mon, Aug 27, 2001 at 18:34:26 (EDT)
From: hamzen
Email: None
To:

Subject: Big up to ya Sir D
Message:



Copyright 1997 Paradise Web Enahancements


All Rights Reserved

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