I just finished talking for about an hour to a premie of thirty years who I hadn't spoken to in quite some time. I thought that she had called me to admonish me about my recent "manmat" status that had gotten back to her. Wrong. The feelings are the same. It is impossible to separate spirituality from action. As long as you live a separated life, you will experience separation and death neurosis. It can not be avoided.

We are in a time of unbelievable evil. Throwing a sheet over your head (literally or figuratively) is an abomination. Have you ever heard M talk about taking any action to help anybody? It seems outside of his scope of his consciousness. The idea of your own private spiritual, beautiful inner experience is an anomaly. We need more than a Master with a great watch collection and talk. Will M take action? He rocked the boat of sensibility as a "child god," probably more out of circumstance than any other reason. That's why so many us of were captivated. He was so different than the stultifying materialistic values, futility and desperation that I was raised with. It was joyous anarchy, a counteraction to the responsibilities and sensibilities of the world. Compare and contrast to M’s current image and plans for "spreading K." There’s plenty of excellent posts about the hair splitting over semantics - "knowledge" or "self-knowledge," all the do’s and don’ts of what and when and where to say it and how to use the handouts, and let M do the talking. Why willingly put yourself through this? If people were really passionate and truly inspired, or M was really inspiring to anyone beside longtime cult members, do you think all this walking on eggshells and constant change in direction would be necessary?

The thirst for crazy freedom is still there. But at fifty, the need for righteousness and humanity becomes the paramount issues of being in a body. Irrespective of any of the many valid criticisms leveled against M here, the problem for me is that he does not address these needs in a fundamental way. The spiritual and philosophical cornerstone is out of place. Many premies have posted here, "it’s just about that inner experience," is too weak for words. I need roaring like a lion, not timid like a mouse.

Peace to you all.