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Much has been shared
here and argued over at various times about the
different personalities and communication styles
and opinions posted on this forum.
Learning to deal with these different dynamics
is much easier when one realizes that no matter
what our differences there is one common connection
that keeps us coming here. We were all affected by
the cult, either in it or close to someone who was,
and we now need to examine and dispell the myth of
it all and move on with our lives.
No matter how we percieve or characterize each
other keeping in mind that we are all fighting the
same battle helps us to deal with the personal
conflicts that sometimes flare up along the way
with each other.
It would be foolish to say that confrontations
are ever going to disappear entirely, and they
shouldn't, handling adversity constructively can
provide a Quantum leap of understanding and greatly
increase the speed of the exit process.
Dealing with others differences can make a big
difference in us. Life is not always a bed of roses
and if we learn how to grow from altercation and
challenge it can be one of the most useful lessons
we have for moving forward in life.
Whenever we break through the little box that we
have surrounded ourselves in we grow, the cult to
me represented one big box that I have now managed
to break out of. Through the years of conditioning
many of us spent in the cult we were programmed to
go along with the crowd and not rock the boat.
It is a miracle that any of us grew through the
restrained and limited cult consciousness or
maintained enough of an independent streak to break
away from it.
Strong personalities challenge and test our
mettle and make us uncomfortable because they
challenge our resources to think for ourselves
again.
By nature many premies were and are passive,
loving, nuturing types and the conditions of the
cult fostered that demeaner even more. This mindset
is what keeps them and kept us for so long from
breaking out of the box and becoming
ex-premies.
Along the way we lost our inquisitive and
inquiring nature, gave it up in fact to tow the
cult line.
So by instilled nature it is difficult to deal
with adversity and differences and challenges of
our positions, Because for so long we avoided
challenge in our way of thinking and retreated into
the warm fuzzy confines of the cult for each others
comfort and support.
We no longer had full possession of the very
sort of inquiring and curious instincts that led us
to look into the cult and m in the first place.
These are valuable tools necessary for mature
adult development which the cult convinced us were
bad, evil, to be avoided. Any question against the
standard cult party line was evidence that one was
in their mind, a very disturbing and dark place to
be.
Then we find ourselves at a time in life when we
are confronted with a different possibility a
different reality, maybe we came to our own
realizations maybe we find EPO or the Forum as I
did.
We come to a point of reckoning, but we show up
with the same warm fuzzy expectations of the cult
mentality, and this is where many stubb their toes,
get their feelings hurt and cry foul play.
When we jump out of the box into the real world
all is fine until we realize that everyone out here
is not the same. The same conditions we accepted in
the cult do not apply anymore. There are bad
people, mean people, difficult people at least we
characterize them as such anyway.
Taking the step to seeing past the differences
in personalities and styles to recognizing the
similarity of purpose is a crucial stage in the
exiting process. It works both ways if there is a
sincere effort in progress.
I have to admit that my first wake up call was a
tough one when I had to rise to the occasion and
jump out of my little warm and fuzzy box and meet
the challengers head on and defend my position of
cult apologist which was where I was coming from at
the time of my first post.
I got encouragement, but I also met a fair
amount of challenge and I really got all knotted up
over that part for a while.
My first impulse was flight, run back to the
safety of the cult, but then something else I don't
know what it was, maybe it was because I felt so
uncomfortable and hurt over what was said to me, I
stayed to fight it out and defend or redeem my cozy
little neatly boxed up relationship with M the cult
and myself.
And am I glad that I stayed, because even though
they lowered the boom on me, I benefited from it.
They took an ax and hammer to my box and it was not
just one person, there were many who did a number
prying the lid open and pulling me out of it.
I was presented with facts, documented
information and a lot of uncomfortable truths which
finally made it possible for me to examine my
position honestly and for the first time see the
box and then expand my perspective beyond the
box.
Once I saw that there was something outside of
the box, I wasted no time in going for it,
embracing freedom wholeheartedly and dancing as
free as fast and as far as I could away from the
clutches of the cult and M.
Today I celebrate and acknowledge everyones
differences, for without them I wouldn't have stood
a chance on my own to break free. If I had nothing
more to rely on than a likeminded warm fuzzy group
of similar thinking folks I might as well stay in
the cult.
No I am not here to find solice and agreement, I
am here now to reclaim my personal freedom and live
beyond the pathetic excuse for truth that was spoon
fed to me for so many years.
I keep coming back here to hopefully set an
example for others to see and relate to if they
care to do the same. Whether or not someone likes
me and accepts me here is secondary.
I have found intellegent integrity here from
many varied and different people and sources and
they do not always have to be mirror images of my
own realizations to have integrity of purpose and
value.
Learning to live with my own restored integrity
is not always a comfortable experience, but it is
by far the most rewarding, it is a great journey of
growth made possible by the path paved before me by
others who have already walked it.
I am glad they were different from me, their
personalities, their viewpoints, their opinions
their communication styles, because all of their
differences are what have made the one big
difference for me in who I am today.
A better adjusted, more developed much happier
and self assured person free from the confines of
the cult now living beyond the box formally known
as the universe.
Yaaaaah Hoooooo
Brian now living in a brand new box with no
cockroaches
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