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A number of people
expressed interest in my letters to EV and their
response, or non-response.
Also, what were the reactions of people that I
knew, in regard to my letters....how did they
effect people around me...
First of all, I wrote the letters simply because
I wish that someone had written me those letters a
number of years ago.
Actually, I wish I had known more about many of the
'inner workings' a long, long time ago, as I would
have seriously re-assessed my position and feelings
about maharaji.
Also,I especially wish someone had brought this
stuff out before I started to put on video programs
at my house.
The reactions were varied, but one common theme
has emerged: no one has really sat down with me and
asked me to explain any more of the details, or has
wanted to know anything further about all of this
stuff.
A few close friends told me the letters were
'disturbing', and wanted to sit down with me for a
long, long 'heart to heart' talk about
'everything'.
None of them ever ventured forward for the 'long,
long talk.'
A few people have given me long, hard stares in
town.
Some of them have tried to hide the stare behind a
smile, but it's kind of like that thing we used to
say when we were kids:
If you're happy, I guess you forgot to tell your
face. (something like that)
In other words, behind that smile, is one pissed
off premie.
I was told that the letters might create
confusion in the community, but fortunately the
resident instructor was there to 'de-confuse'
anyone who might have the need.
A number of the 'quieter' types, gave me surprising
calls in which they expressed to me that they had
heard a few of the stories before, and now they
believed that they were probably true.
They indicated they were in a 'holding pattern', as
to their involvement, awaiting further word from
the establishment.(good luck on that one...)
A number of people contacted me because they are
'lurkers' on EPO, but don't post.
Nice connections from the past.
Interesting to see the power of the internet in
action.
One local friend, after yelling at me for about
15 minutes,finally told me: 'Because of you, I have
to live with the fact that it could all be
true!'
He said that if this stuff was true,maharaji's
work was over...finished in the US.
And that he would leave him.
I wondered why, if it was all that important, he
didn't find out the facts, and make that
decision.
He replied that Donner/Dettmers etc. were liars,
and they were probably upset that maharaji had
fired them for some reason.
And therefore, no need to go further down that
road.
It's here that I began to understand part of the
current strategy that is taking hold.
You don't ask what the truth is.
You ask 'who do you believe?'
'Maharaji, the perfect master, or these guys?'
The question is not 'What is the truth?'.
It's framed as 'Who are you gonna believe?'
'Your master, or some pissed off premie with an ax
to grind that wants to bring him down?'
It was also expressed by many that there is no
way any of the more scandalous stuff could be
verified, so they were backing the PM,not the
ex-premie version.
Many people said that if it is true, they will
leave.
However, they seemed to have little or no interest
in answering any of these questions, and finding
out if it is true or not.
When I asked the question 'How can maharaji say
he never presented himself as a messianic figure?',
when he so clearly did for over a decade, many
people said that they never heard him say that he
was the lord.(?)
I asked one friend, who I sang arti with every
morning and night for 3 years about this.
She said that she never heard maharaji refer to
himself as 'Lord'.
When I reminded her about the arti line 'Our Lord
is the superior power in person', she said
'Oh...well,that's interesting, but why get into the
past?...'
Other premies around town have gone out of their
way to give me big,big smiles...
I think they're trying to let me know that they are
very, very happy, and still like me...but hey,
let's not get too close, OK?.
(That one reminds me of some relationships that
I have seen.
After the breakup, each party goes out of their way
to let the other party know how extremely happy
they are, and they are doing just fine without the
former partner, thank you..)
It's quite obvious that a number of
practitioners still are quite attached in one way
or another to the lotus feet, and do not want to
hear anything that rocks that boat.
Another strategy, or form of denial that I have
seen is the 'mindless compassion reaction'.
A number of premies expressed to me that they were
sad that I was in turmoil over this.
Now they didn't want to discuss WHY I might be in
turmoil, just that they were sad that I was
sad.
Kind of like if my dog got run over by a car. We
want you to know that we are sad because you are
sad...but hey, I got to run, you know, kids are
calling, grocery shopping ...bye.
No need to get into that WHY thing, but we want you
to know that we are indeed compassionate.
That was sort of the tack that Ira took with me
during our 2 hour phone conversation.
He started by saying that he knew I was in
pain.
He could feel it from the letter, and he felt bad
abut it.
('I'm sorry to hear about your pain,but let's
not talk about it too much, because I may start
feeling something uncomfortable myself,and we don't
want that, do we?...')
My feeling is that I like the compassion, if
it's real.
It's the denial that bugs me.
The third denial strategy I found was one
expressed by another friend.
She said that 'I should have been a lawyer'.
When I asked what that meant, she wouldn't
answer.
It was her way of keeping an arms length from the
issue.(Once again, we don't want to get too close,
wouldn't be prudent...)
Finally, I pried it out of her.
I should have been a lawyer,she said, because I
like to fight, and make a mountain out a
molehill.
Once again,no credence given to the facts, just
that this guy likes to fight.(not really, and she
knew it)
We don't discuss anything, and we'll just pin it
all on the fact that you're an asshole.
There's really no problem, except the one that you
are making up.
So, in summary, I've seen a few
strategies...
1)Don't go for the truth.
Frame it as 'Who do you believe?Who's been there
for you?
Maharaji or------?(fill in the blank)
2)Phony compassion.
I understand, but please don't talk to me.
I might have to think and experience some
uncomfortable, confronting feelings myself.
3)You should be a lawyer.
In other words, everything is just fine, until you
start creating problems.
You're not looking for truth or honesty, just
creating problems, because you are not
greatful.
I'm a greatful premie,and everything's working just
fine, thank you.
You're ungreatful, and that's your problem.
4)This stuff is just 'food for the mind'.
This is one of those 'golden oldies' that gets
pulled out of the closet once in awhile, especially
amongst old timers.
I'm sure there are more forms of denial: these
are a few that come to mind.
I do believe 'The emperors clothes' was written
for a reason.
But until you're ready to take a long, honest
look at the emperor and yourself,those clothes he's
wearing look just fine, thank you.
Sincerely,
Jim Sander
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