What do premies believe? This question used to bug me quite a bit about a year ago. It seemed obvious to me that premies couldn't possible believe everything we used to believe, given the kind of contradictions that you cite, and yet there were people who still kissed Maharaji's feet, so what were they thinking? I made a concerted effort to find out.

I tried to talk at length with several of the premies I know personally, but only one of them stuck with me long enough for me to understand his belief system. I'll call him Tim. I think his position must be fairly common. It is basically that he is practicing Knowledge with as little religion and cultish aspects as possible, and with no concepts generated by Rawat's past and present discourses. He actually ignores at lot of what Rawat says and has said, prefering to believe simply in four points: 1.there is an inward higher consciousness for a human being to attain, 2.there are masters of that H.C., 3.Rawat is one such master, 4.there is a love between the Master and the student that encourages one's own growth toward higher consciousness, whether it is called inner peace or any other name.

Tim says that the essence of Rawat's teaching has always been this simple focused message and everything else is beside the point and not to worry about. He says that the love around Maharaji and his students feels good and there is no problem, only silly objections by those who don't really appreciate the love or the higher consciousness.

I should note that Tim has not seen Maharaji for several years due to finances and family concerns, but he still listens to satellite feeds and meditates. There are other premies who are more active than Tim who are much more cultish in their practice of Knowledge. Actually, I think that the closer one is to the "Master" the more cultish their thinking has to be.

So as long as the premie feels the love and wishes to continue to grow toward what he or she perceives as a spiritual growth, then all is well in their world. I now feel that I understand fairly well that question that used to bug me.

However, the reason I left Rawat myself is not because of rotting vegetable satsang or any of the other contradictions or any of the 14 objections. I left because of those four major points. I don't believe any of them anymore. I think normal human conscioiusness is the one that we are in and the one in which we can find our fulfillment in life. I don't think there are any enlightened masters, and if there were any, Rawat certainly isn't one of them. As as for maintaining some sort of love relationship with him, I want a love that is a whole hell of lot closer to where I am than that!

So, my theory is that premies walk away when the very foundation of Rawat's path fails. This foundation has a very strong image and is reinforced by historical ideologies of all sorts, from all cultures. But the foundation itself is harmful because it makes human beings into beings that are alienated from themselves. The ideal of God-conciousness demands a path toward fulfillment that cannot be achieved unless we grow into some better state than the one we are in.

Presently, there is one giant contradiction in Rawat's message. On the one hand he seems to advocate a fulfillment that is possible now as we are, with a gratitude for being alive, achieved by "going within" to a simple place of peace. But on the other hand, he advocates an hour of effort everyday to achieve ever-greater awareness, holding himself up as an example of one who perfectly knows the inner secret that normal people don't know. He also presents himself as the necessary guide without whom this secret cannot be known. This leaves the current premies with an effort to be fulfilled and joyful about life, about their present-moment reality, with each breath, but not necessarily with the extra-ordinary consciousness of bliss and ultimate truth as earlier described. So Rawat never talks about SatChitAnand or enlightenment anymore, only about being happy and fulfilled with what you've got naturally.

This may be a subtle contradiction here, but it is a giant one. If Rawat ever resolved the contradiction, then his role as guru would be over, so he probably never will.

It is maddening to talk to premies who maintain a simple value of loving life, accepting the innate nature of the heart, and yet also maintain that there is some inner secret that Rawat shows.

The truth of the matter, as every premie should be able to recognize by now, is that there is no inner secret that brings fulfillment. The only fulfillment possible is the one that arises with acceptance of our nature, recognizing the wholeness of the heart in its present state. That recognition does not require a guru, a master, a disciplined meditation practice, a bright inner light, or any sort of religion. A Zen master might say that the recognition and acceptance of who we are IS the inner secret, but that's just the zen way of putting everying in puzzles.

The question about inner and outer, and the terminology about the inner world, is very confusing. All such talk is purely metaphorical. Sure we feel love inside, and we see our dreams inside, but these feelings and experiences and not pin-pointed at some location inside our bodies where we can travel to and merge with. There is no deeper and deeper. There is no higher and higher. This terminology is all metaphorical and just zen-like puzzles. Rawat does a horrible job of discussing what his "Knowledge" or "Self-Knowledge" might actually be. And it serves his purposes to remain extremely vague about it. What would happen if he explained that the love we seek is not deep at all, that the light we want to see is not high at all, that the consciousness that we require for happiness and fulfillment is the very same consciousness that we are experiencing right now at this moment!?! What if he told the premies that they didn't need to go anywhere "within" and that they didn't need to add or substract anything about themselves? And what if the premies realized this "secret" all on their own? Well, sometimes people do realize the "inner secret of Self-Knowledge," and when they do, the balloon of the living Perfect Master gets popped and blubbers off into the horizon. When people do actually learn to accept themselves as they are made, by God or by nature, then the balloon of religion gets popped. Then, the peace that the world lacks would be a bygone conclusion.