I was beginning to think that the post was going to fall off the board without being read, which is fine because it is therapuetic for me to be able to take the time to attempt to express myself as clearly as possible.

I am the parent of two sons who have grown up with one parent in and one parent out of the Maharaji Web.  I left the cult after about 9 years while the mother has remained deeply engaged to this day.  I left due to a crash couse in what I have come to learn is called kundalini rising.

I want to be able to express clearly to my sons what happened, how it happened and the devastating visible and invisible effects of participation in the cult which will fill a book. 

Seeking guidance from someone such as Maharaji is setting a course toward disaster.  He is neither a leader nor a teacher. Attending to his words as if they are golden has repercussions which appear to last many years past the point of leaving the cult.  If he ever had an intention to lead, he is and has been in a fantastic position to do so.  Had he an ounce of awareness and truthful purpose he could have made some real visible changes in this world with the resources he has acquired. 

I think this is one of the most humiliating things as an ex-premie.  The idea that the energies which I contributed in good faith to a purpose of helping to "establish peace on this earth" have consistently and exclusively been used by Maharaji to create and maintain an exhorbitantly lavish lifestyle of luxury.  

All the while that I was contributing I guess that I believed the homeless and starving people would one day soon be remedied by this movement but I was so terribly mistaken.  Maharaji instead saw fit to consume all of that energy and dissipate it in to no real practical visible results other than the cars, mansions, yaughts, and aircraft.  He has chosen to squander these resources on the maintainence of his own materialistic lifestyle, to continue to refine his snake oil marketing techniques and to hire legal assistance in attempting to try to silence those who have been able to see what is going on. 

How he can live with himself escapes me.  This is truly a man with no conscience.  The schemes he continues to devise to acquire and maintain his lifestyle play upon the guilt of those who blame themselves for not being able to reach this goal to which he professes to be the guide.  I do not know how he can sleep at night nor live through out a single day if he has any conscience at all.  He casts his net out into the world of troubled people suggesting that he has the solution but anyone who has tried has found no solution.  Those who say they have are so hoodwinked and blinded by the myth that many of them will go to their graves winking and nodding at each other as if they know a great secret.   

The misdirection of the energies of youth and the twenties caused by embracing Maharaji's solutions carries a heavy weight emotionally, spritually and financially for many years after the "Participation".