Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 03:24:22 (GMT) From: Katie Email: katie@ex-premie.org To: Michael Dettmers Subject: Thank you, Michael Message:

I really appreciate this post and the other ones you made recently. I think most of us have had the experience of having only one little piece of the Maharaji puzzle when we found this site and forum and then suddenly getting a LOT more pieces to fit in with it. (I would guess that this experience was similar for you as well.) And learning what someone who was actually around Maharaji saw as being his feelings and motivations is very helpful - most of us can only guess. What you have said about him definitely fits in with the picture that other people have begun to put together here. My feeling is that many people here - particularly those who were involved for a long time, or who lived in the ashram - would like an apology from Maharaji. Or at least some sort of admission that HE made mistakes - accountability, if you will. Judging from what you have said, and from what other people have said about him, I think the possibility of Maharaji accepting any kind of responsibility for anything - or even acknowledging that people were hurt - is extremely unlikely. You wrote: Of course, in this sick game, I and a few others were well taken care of. Cult hierarchies are inequitable by there very nature and, when I look back, I am ashamed that I was ever a part of it. I REALLY appreciate you saying this - thank you. It can't have been easy to write, or to come to terms with. I know there are a lot of things that you cannot talk about because of your confidentiality agreement, but frankly, I am far more interested in your feelings about your involvement than in the details of Maharaji's business dealings. And I think hearing about how you felt, and how you feel now, could help a lot of people who post (and the even greater number of people who read) this forum. I have a request - although it may be something you do not want to do. Would you consider writing a Journeys entry for ex-premie.org? Obviously we could take your forum posts and make a web page out of them, but they don't say very much about how you became involved and the history of your involvement. I understand that you might not want such a document to be available to a web search - particularly because you have your own web page and business, but you do not have to put your last name on it (I do not have my last name on mine because of some things I have said about my family in the entry.) I hope you'll consider this. Thanks again and take care - Katie

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 03:27:30 (GMT) From: Katie Email: None To: all Subject: P.S. to MD and all re empty posts Message:

The empty posts are caused by a server routing problem, which we can't fix from our end, and which is extremely frustrating (especially to the programmer :)!) Everyone should know, though, that the posts ALWAYS show up eventually (at least so far). This has been a problem ever since our server moved to a different physical location.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 03:46:26 (GMT) From: Salam Email: None To: Katie Subject: P.S. to MD and all re empty posts Message:

Very funny. The posts are wizzing around the plant because the router is too confused figuring out the best route. hahaha

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sun, Oct 15, 2000 at 05:08:22 (GMT) From: Brian Email: brian@ex-premie.org To: Salam Subject: re empty posts Message:

The problem first appeared after the company hosting the site was swallowed up by a larger 'Bad Music On Eternal Hold' company, and moved to their servers in Maryland. The new location used to house AOL - a bad sign. Maybe AOL moved and left their tech people with the building... When Katie used the term 'server routing problem' she was describing her understanding of my explanation to her. And my explanation is admittedly vague, since I haven't been able to get through to 'Tech Support' yet. The problem isn't due to internet (global) routing, although it may be caused by routing on the server's local network. My best guess goes something like this: Due to some other network process running 'randomly', the server is not correctly fetching the contents of files created while the other process is running. If this were only happening when they do tape backups, for instance, that would explain the apparent 'randomness' of the times involved. But even if they were buffering the files temporarily on another disk during backup, any file that Perl finds and opens should be able to be read correctly. That isn't happening, so the problem seems to involve disk buffers not being written to properly, perhaps due to misdirected packets. Since the problem is most apparent in larger posts, I suspect that disk buffer size, or packet count, is a factor. The pre-existing index file is being updated correctly and the new listing appears in the index, so the problem seems to only affect newly created files rather than updated files. But this may alternately be due to the index file not having exceeded a size threshold that triggers the problem. Sometimes the post contents aren't correctly read for 8 hours after the file was created! Yet I've been able to FTP to the site and download the file to my computer during this 'dead' time. Everything is where it should be in the file, yet the machine that the script is run on isn't able to retrieve the contents - even though the 'open file' function returns no error. Since the length of the 'dead time' seems to vary, the problem may simply persist until some periodic machine reset takes place somewhere on their network. Anyway, I'll keep trying this week to get through to them. Either they rectify the problem, or I'll start looking for another server.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 03:50:30 (GMT) From: Katie Email: None To: Salam Subject: Salam, I have the exact same picture in my head!nt Message:

nt

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 23:35:06 (GMT) From: SUCHABANANA Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: NO Talk? DLM REVENUES,ASSETS,M EXPENSES,TRANSFERS? Message:

NT

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:10:03 (GMT) From: janet of venice Email: None To: michael dettmers Subject: 2 empty posts-is someone jamming you?? Message:

michael, you have tried twice to post your words and both times they have come up blank. yet the thread posted. i wrote the FA about it. we do want to hear what you have to say. my posts are going up just fine. wanna email your text to me and i'll try putting it up? i can ccp it and slap it up here.   Jai_Choix@webtv.net

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 00:22:41 (GMT) From: hamzen Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: Really appreciate your honesty and openess, Message:

and I'm intrigued as to the process of how you have come to terms with the wasted time and effort which you hinted at in a previous post. From another angle it has struck me for a while that it's his stage show, and the confidence/arrogance while on stage, that enabled him to con so successfully, admittedly one of the naivest groups of people ever, what a bunch of innocents, even for hippies we were. Any info re his psychological states before he went on stage, or other relevant materials re this topic area would be much appreciated. We still see premies believing he REALLY cares for them. How conscious do you think he is of this manipulation, and the dependency states he feeds off, and do you think he is SO deluded that he really believes stuff like that recent quote that it was all the mahatmas fault for the lord of the universe stuff. Same goes for his organizational incompetence, know he always blames others, but do you believe that's the way he truly thinks. All of these questions really relate to his degree of awareness, or not, around the social, organizational & psycho mind games he has always played

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 00:57:18 (GMT) From: Michael Dettmers Email: None To: hamzen Subject: Really appreciate your honesty and openess, Message:

hamzen These are really good questions – one’s that I have been reflecting on for some time. However, I don’t have the time to properly respond now. I will give them some further thought and get back to you sometime this weekend. Michael

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 00:08:11 (GMT) From: Cynthia G. Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: Thank you Message:

Dear Michael, I thank you for your courage and candor. I was just today thinking about the cult hierarchies. You were in a much closer position than most and certainly more I ever was, even though I saw him so much at DECA. I appreciate your comments about it being a cult dynamic, which it is. Your comments about the closing of ashrams also is very validating for me and I'm sure, many others here. Thanks again, I hope you continue to communicate here. Best, Cynthia G.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 23:13:38 (GMT) From: Susan Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: the power of validation Message:

It really helps to read this. Us humans really want to understand our lives and what occurs in them, and sharing and validating the feelings of so many who lived through this is so helpful. Pretty cool we are living here in the year 2000 isn't it? If we had joined a cult in any other time in history there would have been no mechanism in place for us to network and tell our stories. The power of the information age.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Sat, Oct 14, 2000 at 02:51:41 (GMT) From: Helen Email: None To: Susan/Michael Subject: Susan, Michael Message:

So true, Susan, well said! THIS is what the internet is for! I am fascinated by your interpretations of events, Michael. You put in pretty plainly when you said that M's thinking was 'It's so much easier in India!' That is priceless! Poor Maharaji, we Americans made dumb, blind devotion so darn difficult! Seriously though, thanks for your posts, they are great. Helen

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:57:43 (GMT) From: Joe Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: Wow... Message:

Michael, You know, it's strange. I had a similar experience reading your post as when I read one from another person, who posted as KK and was a finance person for Maharajio, when she said that, basically, Maharaji closed the ashrams because he felt they would become a financial burden, or at least wouldn't make as much money for him that they hed, and that the actual lives of the people in them were of no interest or concern to him whatsoever. We had dedicated our lives to him, but he completely and intentionallly failed to fulfill his part of the bargain. We always gave to Maharaji and he never gave anything back. I had already come to the conclusion that Maharaji didn't give a toss about his devotees, and I felt that strongly and that was mainly why I couldn't follow him anymore, but somehow, even now, I still get this slightly sad feeling when it's confirmed by somebody like you who was actually around him. I mean, I guess there is still something inside of me that kind of hopes that Maharaji, this person I loved more than anything and dedicated everything to, really isn't as bad as every stick of evidence leads me to believe. Thanks so much for your comments, Michael. They really are helpful. Have a good weekend. I hope to. I'm headed to the Sierra, were we ALREADY have skiing thanks to early snows. Joe

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:40:30 (GMT) From: Jerry Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: You're a godsend, Michael Message:

Really, your candor here puts to rest a lot of questions about the attitude of Maharaji, what his priorities were and why. Some people will say that your's is just one opinion of M, but I, personally, feel that it's accurate. Thanks, again.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 23:59:05 (GMT) From: ham Email: None To: Jerry Subject: And fits exactly all the other descriptions of him Message:

that have leaked through, the guy is a complete egomaniac control freak who thinks the whole world exists to serve him in the lifestyle to which he's become accustomed, whatever the cost. So where now is all the bullshit homage to god and shri hans, and service from the heart for the good of mankind, exactly where it always was, in the minds of premies and nowhere else. Calls for another rolex watch, a new plane, a new blonde bimbo, another toke, another fag, some new people to abuse, and a bullshit stage show. What a load of bollox. And dontcha just know that he's exactly the kind of insecure, obnoxious multi-millionaire that none of us would want to spend a minute with in real life. And I would still like to know the details of his practice in the bedroom that is so bizarre. There must be someone out there who has been shagged by him who can spill the beans, by the sound of it there's no shortage of individuals who he's tried it on with.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:18:50 (GMT) From: Bin Liner Email: None To: Michael Dettmers Subject: My responses to your additional questions Message:

That was more interesting than the earlier efforts , keep it up.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:09:07 (GMT) From: Don't worry Email: None To: MD Subject: Text will appear in a little while, by his grace. Message:

nt

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 21:15:13 (GMT) From: janet of venice Email: None To: michael and FA Subject: wheres the text? i was highly interested Message:

the thread shows, but theres no posting. what gives?

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 21:19:34 (GMT) From: Jim Email: None To: janet of venice Subject: Obviously he's got nothing further to say Message:

Think, Janet, think. (Good spacing this time, though!)

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:07:08 (GMT) From: Jim Email: None To: Jim Subject: Mike, it looks like you tried again but..... Message:

you can't just hit 'submit' again. You have to copy and paste the text into a brand new post. Hey, even that doesn't work sometimes in which case you just have to do it a third time. Oh well, it's still an indoors job.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 22:19:45 (GMT) From: janet of venice Email: None To: michael Subject: try this as safety measure Message:

try composing your response in an email you mail yourself first. that way you have hard copy. then use that received mail to ccp your response into a virgin posting page. if it fails, you can leave the area, come back, fresh, and paste it again. < wonderful?? }}%^([

Return to Index -:- Top of Index

Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2000 at 23:14:17 (GMT) From: Sir Dave Email: None To: janet of venice Subject: try this as safety measure Message:

Or just write it in Windows Notepad and then save it as a file on your desktop such as temp.txt and then once it's saved, try pasting it into a forum post. If it fails, you've still got it on your desktop to try again and even if there's a powercut, you won't lose it.

Return to Index -:- Top of Index